Using the communal land on my estate

[Justmeandmysuitcase]

Hormonal women (possibly even pre menopausal) with a clingy moaning toddler and tonight marks the second time I ve thrown my teddies out of the cot. Some perspective would be great; are the example below reasons to get so annoyed or is it more likely hormones and as my patience is constantly hanging by a thread?!

Incident 1 - KFC drive thru
Placed my order and when asked if that was everything - “Yes but I want to place a separate order with a separate card” (company expenses vs a personal spend so the two transactions for me and my partner to eat)
Answer “Sorry but it’s one order per car”
No one else in the drive thru in front or behind - it’s a quiet location.
Me “But I want to buy more items and spend more”
”Sorry one order per car”
I was speechless to the point I could feel the rage building and so drove off in a huff!

Incident 2 - communal open grass area on my estate
Walked the dog before bed initially on a larger patch of communal grass near my house for last minute wees. Then went round to another patch of communal grass around the corner that is directly opposite some houses and has big trees the dog likes to sniff round.

The end of these houses drives to the start of the grass is about 3 metres. Drives are also 3 ish metres long. The privately owned houses of the estate (including me) pay for the maintenance of this grass. Some residents have recently moved into the houses opposite this grass as tenants as the developers were struggling to sell them.

I’m stood waiting for the dog when a tenant from one of these houses comes back from walking his dog from elsewhere and mutters loudly for me to hear “I would not let my dog piss outside someone’s house” in a snarky manner.
Cue rage from me “I’ve bought my house and this is communal land which I pay towards!”
Few things; the grass isn’t outside his house, if there was a footpath 6 metres away does he think he can police the footpath, he doesn’t pay for the maintenance of grass as he’s a tenant, the dog was sniffing not pissing. His passive approach majorly got to me!

So what do you think, hormones?!

When I saw your thread title i immediately thought you were the owner of a large estate, a lady of the manor! 😂

Anyway, I feel your pain and I think your rage is justified.

Me too! I thought you were very kind to let people use the land on your estate!

But also - yes. Rage away.

Hahaha sorry bad title! Should have changed it but pressed post too quick and also debated whether ‘estate’ was my Yorkshire slang appearing.

Think I’m over it this morning but I suppose the question is now whether I take the dog to the said patch of grass this evening 🤔

I'm wondering more why, if you have a work expenses account, you are at KFC.
Was Hawksmoor closed?

The KFC one would annoy me enough to drive off too.
The dog pee one, I was with you until you said you bought your home as if it grants you superior rights over a tenant. It doesn't. Regardless, communal grass is communal grass, provided there's no restrictions on dog fouling crack on.

My estate. 😂 Then KFC.

Disappointed.

Hormones don’t tend to get you upset about anything you wouldn’t normally get upset about, it’s the degree of the upset and the rage that is the tell. If you’re completely losing your shit at people when previously your reaction would have been more measured, that’s potentially hormones, in my opinion. Particularly if it comes in the form of unchecked rage. You just lose all ability to put up with any shit from anyone.

Both irritating situations but how bad was your anger? I think a lot of the problem with menopause anger is the disproportionate reactions it can create, just stressing yourself out over pretty daft things.

And please don't be snotty about tenants. They will also be paying towards communal areas, either as part of their rent or a separate service charge.

Tenants have the same rights as you over the communal area, they will be covering costs via rent.

Not saying what he said was correct, but YABU for implying owner-occupiers have more rights to express a view.

More as I pay towards the maintenance opposite his house, and I’ve been through the buying process to see the land registry map of communal areas so I‘m able to walk on that grass - my rage didn’t articulate that well 😂. He can use the grass as much as I can.

Estate/street/housing development are all interchangeable terms for me.

Lunch allowance is £8.50

Its all a bit if a faff buying kfc on 2 cards for the sake of £8.50

It's a communal area, you don't get an extra say on it just because you pay. He is right, I would have said the same thing.

Thanks for the comments regarding hormones, all very interesting and I am probably stressing about first world problems. It’s making me think of previously I could have held my cool better, whereas now I seem to react instantly.

Regarding the grass, their tone and manner seemed to imply that I had no right to be stood on the grass, so I bit back to justify why I can be stood there.

Could have handled both differently, just wondering whether hormones and thin patience are working against me. If I’m more aware of my instant reactions it’s something I can maybe tackle.

Then again, why not react instantly?

It’s what many men do, like the one telling you not to stand on the grass, and they don’t blame it on hormones.

You sound like my mum. She could have an argument in an empty room. I’d see these as minor irritations, not something that are significant enough to justify rage or a row.

You do you, but be aware these constant over reactions are exhausting for those around you.

Any of you having a go at KFC, I used to hate customers like you. As a sales assistant etc you don't get to make the rules. You are told what is and is not OK, logical or not. I once saw a woman having a go at a sales assistant in John Lewis because not enough items were in the Black Friday sale. As if someone on the shopfloor makes those decisions 🙄

agree with this post.

Both normal reactions @Justmeandmysuitcase I like your style x hormones or not, we just can't be dealing with fools and their trivial shit.

KFC - a bit annoying but you know now to go in and order next time.

Dog one - I’d have asked the man where he’d just walked his dog that wasn’t near any houses as I bet his dog did pee whilst on that walk.

My DS used to work at a fast food place and they also had that rule. For them it’s to do with recording how fast they serve each car. So if you have multiple orders for one car then that will slow down orders delivered per car. It’s not the fault of the person working there so you were unfair when you were angry at them.

Agreed it is exhausting, and I don’t have endless energy to go around.

Its served as a good reflection point and definitely highlighted a few things I can think about going forward.

For the KFC one I’d assume their system works on reading your car reg whilst at the window or allocating a number to your car or such like meaning the system can’t have two orders for the same car at the same time. Not that the sales assistant just couldn’t be arsed to serve you again.

For the second one, fine to take the dog on communal land, not fine to differentiate between owners and tenants.

You do sound quite highly strung. We can’t tell if it’s hormones or you’re always like that.

With KFC, either it’s fair to only have one order per car to keep the line moving for other people behind you, or if there’s no one behind you then it’s no real hardship to drive out and back in.

I agree it is rude to let your dog piss outside someone else’s house regardless of whether or you you have to pay a maintenance fee. A tenant pays for these things through their rent.

Agreed. Very unpleasant.

i’m concerned that you drove off from KFC in a rage without your food - please confirm as hanger could explain any subsequent rage. YANBU re the rude dog walker