Using the communal land on my estate

[Justmeandmysuitcase]

Hormonal women (possibly even pre menopausal) with a clingy moaning toddler and tonight marks the second time I ve thrown my teddies out of the cot. Some perspective would be great; are the example below reasons to get so annoyed or is it more likely hormones and as my patience is constantly hanging by a thread?!

Incident 1 - KFC drive thru
Placed my order and when asked if that was everything - “Yes but I want to place a separate order with a separate card” (company expenses vs a personal spend so the two transactions for me and my partner to eat)
Answer “Sorry but it’s one order per car”
No one else in the drive thru in front or behind - it’s a quiet location.
Me “But I want to buy more items and spend more”
”Sorry one order per car”
I was speechless to the point I could feel the rage building and so drove off in a huff!

Incident 2 - communal open grass area on my estate
Walked the dog before bed initially on a larger patch of communal grass near my house for last minute wees. Then went round to another patch of communal grass around the corner that is directly opposite some houses and has big trees the dog likes to sniff round.

The end of these houses drives to the start of the grass is about 3 metres. Drives are also 3 ish metres long. The privately owned houses of the estate (including me) pay for the maintenance of this grass. Some residents have recently moved into the houses opposite this grass as tenants as the developers were struggling to sell them.

I’m stood waiting for the dog when a tenant from one of these houses comes back from walking his dog from elsewhere and mutters loudly for me to hear “I would not let my dog piss outside someone’s house” in a snarky manner.
Cue rage from me “I’ve bought my house and this is communal land which I pay towards!”
Few things; the grass isn’t outside his house, if there was a footpath 6 metres away does he think he can police the footpath, he doesn’t pay for the maintenance of grass as he’s a tenant, the dog was sniffing not pissing. His passive approach majorly got to me!

So what do you think, hormones?!

Standing on the grass isn't the problem, it's letting your dog piss on it that's the issue. I would be objecting too.

Dogs can piss anywhere they want to as long as not private gardens. Also not war memorials, playgrounds, etc. but a bit of communal grass is fair game. I’m glad you told him. Hopefully he will stop being an arse. Does he also pay towards the grass? Even if he does he can’t police the dog piss.

I own a tiny bit of grassed land in front of the mini sub station round the corner from my house (my dad built the ‘housing’ estate).

the lady across the road glares at me when my dog wees there.

I adored the incident when my mum was shouted at for a reason I don’t remember about she didn’t own the road and she shouted back yes she did.

I’d have just replied ‘awwww what type of dog do you have?’ And pretended I had no idea that him telling me what he would let his dog do was in any way related to what I let my dog do.

This has been me the past year or so. I reached the end of HRT effectiveness and feel like my tolerance is at rock bottom.
As one poster said, men don't blame hormones, they just say what they think.
I sometimes thing that women suppress their instincts to fight back.
But then you reach the magical age when you stop caring so much what others people think and start reacting.
1 in 5 women are on Citalopram while only 1 in 10 men.
I have found that if you can take a breath and answer back as bitingly and sarcastically as you can without having a meltdown, you will cope.
Ps. Retail and service staff do struggle. Try and be patient with them.
People who mean about your dog....gloves off.

I can't see either of your responses being hormonal. After all what normal person wouldn't irritated at being told they couldn't place a second order without driving out, driving around the block and then returning? As for the man, he did that thing dickish men do, couldn't bear not to take you to task, any reason would have done and he assumed you wouldn't have enough knowledge to know you were in a communal area. He must have been shocked when you showed you knew the legalities. He's probably rethinking that conversation on a loop and trying to come up with a "smart" reponse. Or telling his mates in the pub that you were clearly one of those man hating women from Mumsnet!

Oh a dog owner who believes they have a right to use publicly accessible space as a toilet…so sick of the entitlement.

I'd definitely be walking my dog there again at least once a week to prove I wasn't intimidated!

I think you are justified the incidents you describe but I definitely got a lot of 0-100 rage aged about 40 when middle child was a toddler and it got triggered by her for a while which wasn't okay. I was very lucky to have a dupportive partner to step in and who didnt judge. My rage stopped itself after a year or so but in retrospect I should have sought proper help. Look after your sleep and your time to yourself if it's escalating to something you can't control.

Why can’t your dog use your own garden as a toilet rather than a communal space?

You’ve mentioned dogs and paying services charges that come with having a mortgage on the estate you live on. No one will manage to be objective now. That man’s dog definitely pisses outside someone’s house and paying services charges means you can stand on that grass area with your dog.

KFC completely you were completely unreasonable - surely it doesn't take a genius to see if cars start making more than one order the whole,. order, drive forward, collect order system would breakdown.

Pissing dog. You're also being completely unreasonable to use the communal areas as a toilet for your dog. I'd get one of those sonic dog deterrents to keep your dog off of it.

I'd combine the two, and take my dog to pee outside the KFC 😉

Because she owns her home, and as such pays for the renting plebs to have access to green space of course…👸

Both irritating

you’re quite right to stand up for yourself however you choose, I find as a peri menopausal woman I OFTEN choose to be non compliant, non people pleasey, and tell people what the fuck is what’s what.

Our days of being quiet and a ‘good girl’ are long the fuck over

You were right on both counts.

I suspect the kfc this is to do with numberplate recognition, each order is by numberplate so they cannot use the same numberplate twice at the same time

This one knows how to handle people 😂

What does everyone else call what we call an estate then? I'm confused!
I live on an estate too! It was built fifty years ago, probably had some some 400 houses, but it's still 'the estate'.

Well dog piss stinks and kills grass and attracts other dogs to piss so I wouldn't especially want the local dog's toilet outside my house. But dog ownership and Dog's Rights have taken over so I would probably roll my eyes rather than say anything. And the owner / renter status is irrelevant and snobby. They do pay - the cost will be rolled into their rent, and it is their home.

Drive-thu: ridiculous of them. What did they want you to do, drive round again?!

are you suggesting she should never walk her dog? Because my boy dog wees and poos in the garden no end but still wees every five mins when out on a walk. It’s a dog thing. 🤷‍♀️. My girl dog isn’t quite as bad but still wees on walks.

I imagine the OPs dog also toilets in her garden.

And I don’t believe that dog wee necessarily kills off grass. I have no dead grass in my garden from dog wee.