AIBU to find one-issue personalities rather tedious to be around?

[Dovesono]

AIBU to think the people who make one aspect of themselves their entire personality are extremely tedious?

(Feeling irritated by someone in my life who does this and wondering whether others have had a similar experience.)

I don't think it really matters what the particular aspect is - whether it's a hobby, one's gender or sexual identity, a sporting ability, being a parent, having had an unusual experience - people who only want to talk about one thing (i.e. themselves) and who bring it up at every available opportunity are invariably very tiresome in my experience.

As an example, I was once queuing for an event with a friend and we got chatting to the people in front of us in the queue. This friend brought up his particular "thing" no fewer than three times, despite the other queuers not knowing him from Adam and clearly being completely uninterested in the occasion when he fell off a horse in 1998.

Or maybe I'm just an misanthropic GOW...

I have an old friend that following her divorce a few years ago has transformed into a very militant feminist. She’s also peri menopausal, and it doesn’t matter what we’re talking about, every subject will be routed back to menopause or all men are bastards. I’ve been interrupted many’s the time mid sentence to a lecture on one or the other of her favourite subjects. It’s become so tedious and frustrating that I’ve had to distance myself. I can’t get a word in edgeways about any other subject.

That's a bit of a leap, I have met plenty of people who are just mind numbingly boring on the one topic that rocks their boat ( My niece and horses). They just don't care who has to listen so long as they can hold fourth and they don't have austism.

Exercise bores, yes - they publish everything online about their gym routines and act like their body is a person ‘I promise to re-feed you next week’

Why are some people dumb enough to think people are interested in this nonsense?

Do you? How odd. 🤔

I disagree and think what you've done here is exactly what the OP is alluding to.

I'm autistic and most of my family are ND. I'm no stranger to the special interest conversations. They don't always turn up at convenient times and can derail existing conversations. I can see that (when it's not me doing it 😉)

What the OP is talking about is when someone makes one aspect of themselves their entire personality. Eg re-routing a conversation to the subject of your child being autistic even when the conversation has nothing to do with it could be seen as doing that. The personality there would be Being The Parent Of An Autistic Child.

I see it most on here on class threads on here where people have asked whether Centre Parcs is a middle class holiday choice (or whether they should avoid it to maintain their MC credentials) or whether their children are doing enough/solely middle class activities and thinly veiled classism around the foods that people eat. Some people have made being middle class their personality and, it always seems that they are not chosing their style of house; activities for their childen; universities/courses/careers; food/drink; holidays; lifestyles based on what they actually enjoy but on whether it has enough middle class markers. Thus making Being Middle Class their personality.

I work with someone who is a vegan. No one knew he was a vegan until someone offered to do a lunch run and he said he was vegan so would pass this time. I'd worked closely with him for 3 years by that point without him mentioning it. Being A Vegan is not his personality.

Yes the autistic and ADHD or auDHD seems to be the current popular excuse for men behaving badly these days

None of them ever seem to be diagnosed but everyone is absolutely certain what they are

Women never get the same benefit of the doubt for why they can't/won't do something

What I will say about ADHD (having it myself - and yes, I'm diagnosed) as yes it does lead to obsession and not being able to think about anything other than a particuar thing. Even the ADHD itself! But I'm not the only person in the universe and it's not an excuse to be unaware or selfish in conversations, so I try to reign it in. And so should others with ADHD.

I gave my kids’ piano teacher milk chocolates for years before she hosted an event and served vegan cakes. I had no idea. I wish she had told me!

Being vegan is usually about judging others! They are very special people apparently.

Indeed. It's the extreme self-confident personalities assuming that they can always tell when somebody is X; and if they can't, it must be because that person isn't really X!

I always think the same thing on the regular "Why are there men on MN?" threads. Women will (ironically very aggressively) argue that you can ALWAYS tell a male poster without fail because they ALWAYS do/say this, that or the other terribly annoying man-thing.

There could be 1, 1,000 or 10 million male posters quietly engaging just like anybody else in threads on MN across all kinds of topics, but because they don't conform to these stereotypes or make a song and dance about being male when discussing their thoughts on last night's TV, pet insurance, neighbour parking disputes or CFs, they clearly can't exist!

Best of all is the posters who blame men for being 'arrogant, entitled' bastards for feeling the need to mention that they're men when it has no relevance to the chat; but then also blame male posters who don't mention it as a matter of course for being 'creepy, deceitful' bastards who are 'pretending' to be women!!

The only people more judgy are meat eaters when they find out someone is vegetarian or vegan.

@MagpiePi Maybe but that’s because we hear all about it and then need to shop differently for them. They don’t shop differently for me. It’s one way traffic in that one. Anyway - vegans - no thanks!

@MeetMeOnTheCorner
IME hearing all about it is generally along the lines of ‘I’m vegan by the way’ but you refuse to accommodate your friends’ dietary requests, and think vegans are the special ones? 🤔

Well, yes if someone is ethically opposed to eating animal products they’re hardly going to buy it for you, are they? Unless you’re ethically opposed to pulses and veg, it’s not really the same thing.

The only time I mention being vegan is when someone keeps offering me something I can’t have so I have to tell them. More often than not it, they’ll get offended and think I’m judging them for eating meat or dairy when literally all I’ve said is no thanks I’m vegan.

This does really annoy me. In particular i can't stand it when someone recons they're "really into music", but they only like one specific type (such as heavy metal), or even worse, only one specific band (metallica). And they make that music or band their whole personality and style, and they know every last detail about that music or band, and only want to talk about that.

But they "love music"

Yes ! Plus the peri menopausal brigade , ah ! I could scream ...

My MIL has always talked way too much about how her childhood was affected by the war and rationing. It’s obviously very interesting, but not when it’s mentioned for the umpteenth time. 🤣

Admittedly I haven’t read the full post but I scrolled fairly far through it and couldn’t believe no one had mentioned Molly Sugden’s bridesmaid?!

@LizzieW1969 Goodness me! This was my DM. All the time growing up we had “you are so lucky to have this (pineapple, clothes , Banana etc) because we didn’t during the war”! Or “you would not survive on 2 ozs butter a week”. It blighted my childhood and was incredibly annoying. You end up not caring one bit!

God this

My ex was obsessed with the rock band 'kiss'

He knew every single fact over the band (or thought he did) and I wasn't 'allowed' to like any other band/song or he'd go mad (it was just easier to keep my tastes private)

He made it his whole personality-listening to him,you would have thought there was no other music in the world

Thankfully,he disappeared about 12 years ago and nobody has seen him since

I was joking to dp the other day that when Gene Simmons or Paul Stanley die,he'll show up at their funerals,sobbing and shaking his way to the front

His obsession was unreal,I mean I like music but not to that extent

Wow, i wouldn't mind, but Kiss are a terrible band! Even gene simmons admited that he was only in it for the money (and the groupies 🤮), they were technically awful and just hyped up pop-rock with a gimmic. There a so many cool real glam rock bands and he chose that one?? Did he not even try listening to something else?

I just can't fathom how boring only listening to one band, or just one genre of music would be. I have never been able to understand it.

I once said 'they only got as big as they did because A-marketing and B-that bloody awful make up they wore'

'Kiss unmasked' was yet another marketing ploy

Nope,he worshiped them

I had to sit through a dreadful programme where Gene was a teacher for a few weeks (was like watching paint dry but ex was glued and very jealous of the kids) and I hated having to listen to them/him going on about his heros constantly

He went missing and in his familes bio it's 'X is 50,5'9 tall,dark blonde,long hair which he dies black,wears eyeliner/mascara,has 5 tattoos,is a massive Coventry football fan and WORSHIPS the band 'kiss'

Makes him sound like the sad and pathetic twat he is

He only grew his hair so he could become a woman-long before trans was a thing

God,i can't believe my self esteem was so low I shagged him for 2 and a half years

Being vegan is usually about judging others! They are very special people apparently.

Maybe but that’s because we hear all about it and then need to shop differently for them. They don’t shop differently for me. It’s one way traffic in that one. Anyway - vegans - no thanks!

What ignorant commentst!
I don't know any judgey vegans. However, you have clearly demonstrated that there are plenty of judgey omnivores. You have conformed to the omnivore stereotype, and as a fellow omnivore I am embarrassed for you.

On the vegan front, does anybody know which member of the band The Smiths is/was an avowed vegan/vegetarian?

Apparently, the answer is all of them. It would seem that it is fully possible to be a vegan and NOT be an insufferable bore about it. For the record, Lee Mack is also a vegan - and a Buddhist - as you wouldn't know from all of his stand-up gags.

(Not that it matters, but I myself am very much a happy omnivore).