AIBU to find one-issue personalities rather tedious to be around?

[Dovesono]

AIBU to think the people who make one aspect of themselves their entire personality are extremely tedious?

(Feeling irritated by someone in my life who does this and wondering whether others have had a similar experience.)

I don't think it really matters what the particular aspect is - whether it's a hobby, one's gender or sexual identity, a sporting ability, being a parent, having had an unusual experience - people who only want to talk about one thing (i.e. themselves) and who bring it up at every available opportunity are invariably very tiresome in my experience.

As an example, I was once queuing for an event with a friend and we got chatting to the people in front of us in the queue. This friend brought up his particular "thing" no fewer than three times, despite the other queuers not knowing him from Adam and clearly being completely uninterested in the occasion when he fell off a horse in 1998.

Or maybe I'm just an misanthropic GOW...

Yes, am "I'm Tall!" person leapt immediately to mind when I saw this thread.

He has grown a beard and he is tall. These two things seem to completely define him. He mentions Being Tall and Having a Long Beard all the bloody time. As if we haven't noticed it.

On his social media stuff, I've lost count of the tall/beard references. Who cares!? I don't look anymore, it irritates me

Is it CrossFit?

I once worked with a Professional Yorkshireman.

I also have a friend who is a passionate Remainer and turns any subject to how terrible Brexit is. I was annoyed by the result of the Brexit referendum at the time too, but somehow over the intervening 10 years I've managed to move on.

I'm 46 and I'm.not even sure what peri is supposed to mean? Surely you're either going through the menopause or you aren't?

Oh dogs are fine! Keep talking about your dog!

Yes, I worked with someone who in every single meeting or conversation or lecture would mention she had ADHD… it was her entire personality and it never seemed to occur to her she might not be the only neurodivergent person in the room…

Teenage DS, cyber security. He has Aspergers and is highly intelligent, excellent at soaking up information.
His Great Grandma, when faced with this jargon-filled chuntering simply looks blank.
She likens it to being spoken to in Russian.

Ds got a job,years ago at costa

Didn't we know it?

We couldn't go anywhere else for a coffee (no branch matched up to his standards) his personal best was 9 costas in one day (ive never stepped foot in one since) and if I heard about his job one more time,I would have strangled him

Then he changed jobs and joined the NHS (as a security guard in a large hospital)

I told him straight that i was proud of him,I was dead chuffed he'd got his dream job and couldn't be happier for him but if he came out with the words 'I work for the NHS' just once,I would cut him out of my will

He didn't and loves his job (he did jokingly mention it about 500 times during covid just to wind me up and hes still in my will)

(I know his wife had a word at about the same time which probably had a stronger effect than I ever would)

Vegans are the worst for this!!!

@Slugtamer Well it wouldn’t would it. ND is code for self absorbed I find.

I know a pole fitness woman. It’s her entire personality.

‘Peri’ comes from Greek and it means ‘around’ (perimeter, pericardium…)

At some point in the past decade or so, someone started using it with menopause, which does make sense really because menopause, strictly speaking, means the moment your periods stop. Many women obviously experience health changes for quite some time before they have their final period, so that’s what perimenopause is referring to.

In the 90s, my Mum and her friends talked about ‘going through the menopause’ when they were discussing their health issues and mood changes. Obviously they weren’t all referring specifically to how they felt when they had their final period; they were referring to a much longer period of time leading up to it, and probably just after it too. So it’s just a change in the terminology over the years. I’ve noticed it irritates some people but I’m not sure why really. I think what people really find irritating is hearing about it too much, or someone making it their personality.

@Waitingfordoggo It just used to be called “the change”. Talking about it doesn’t change it.

The oversharing is also irritating (to me, anyway, but I acknowledge I am easily irritated).

I don't think for one second that women should suck up their medical issues - they should be able to talk freely to their doctor, partner, family and friends, and seek out the advice and support of like-minded women. All for that.

It's when they feel the need to drop it (their peri status in general, or the fact their fanny has dried up or whatever) into absolutely ANY topic for all the random strangers on the internet who really don't care.

No, but why does it bother people? I find ‘the change’ rather twee, like ‘women’s problems’ or ‘down below’. Greek terms are used all the time in science so it seems appropriate to use one when referring to a biological process.

Yawn. Not all vegans do. You must just mix with some tiresome people who just happen to be vegan.

You probably know vegans who don't talk about their dietary preferences as well.

Honestly, I think the vegan who never stops talking about veganism is as much of a myth as the Oxbridge graduate who shoehorns it into conversation after ‘Hello’.

The woman I sit next to at work is going through potty training with her child and I know it’s an intense time, but I really don’t care about hearing the graphic details of every toilet related incident.

I remember David Baddiel saying that if he had fallen into a river, his Mum would have shouted “Help! My son - the Cambridge graduate! - is drowning!”.

I think you are massively projecting.

i was at a party a few weeks ago and got stuck with a group of runners (i used to be in the running club they were in). Tortuous , they weren’t enjoying it either - six of them all injured, all saying how rubbish they were. managed to relate everything back to running.

Obviously all autistic of course.

My BIL has recently diagnosed himself and now it’s all he talks about. He makes regular posts about how his ADHD affects his life. As a person who has worked in this field for 26 years I don’t believe he has ADHD. Failing to contribute to household tasks because you can’t be arsed or being incredibly rude to people he sees as less then him aren’t ADHD traits. It’s not because he’s ’run out of spoons’ . It’s just shit behaviour. I’ve muted him on all channels.
I did ask him once if he would be seeking formal
diagnosis. He said he ‘didn’t need to because he just knows he is’. Ok then.

Someone I used to work with couldn't hold any conversation without mentioning 'our holiday home in Cornwall'. We lost touch after she retired but her very distinctive name cropped up recently in an online newspaper thread about viewing the upcoming eclipse. Sure enough 2 sentences in she mentioned how she had travelled to their 'holiday home in Cornwall' to ensure she got the best possible view of it.

I remember one of the mums at DD’s old school couldn’t have a conversation about anything without mentioning “I always cook a hot meal from scratch for my kids every night.”

Became quite the family joke catchphrase for us TBH.

@piscofrisco Id rather people like this didn’t get any “diagnosis”. They clog up the system and others who really need it, cannot access it. We are a country full of people who are like this and they hide behind quasi self diagnosed conditions which are just a cover up for poor behaviour. I would swerve anyone like this!