Was this an emotional affair?

[rosepetunis]

So basically a male worker working in the public sector was involved in issues relating to a dispute involving my parents and their neighbours.

I don't want to be to outing.

But he must of came down about 20 times in the space of 12 months to attempt and resolve these issues.

It started of when neighbour began trespassing and then it turned into childish tit for tatt and never warranted any involved from this sector at all ( was confirmed by a senior official at the end).

Anyway we had gotten quite close.
He gave me his work mobile number.
He would make comments about my appearance and stuff like "I was coming to see you first anyway" (rather than neighbours).

He once came and honestly it felt more like a date just us 2.

He told me "Oh they haven't put their house on the market have they?" As it's not listed on Right Move is it?".
Obviously looking in his spare time at the case.

Then once he got funny and said "So you don't want me coming down anymore is that what you're saying"? It felt very odd and more like a personal statement rather than a professional statement.

I didn't like his colleague ( was very biased to the neighbours) and so he switched partners so his colleague didn't come down, it was all very sweet.

I really developed feeling for him and the last time I saw him he wanted to give me his personal number by my battery had died.

After that I think it was flagged what had been going on and that these were never issues that they should of been dealing with and he was moved to a different area (10 minutes away) and didn't see him again.

He never once mentioned that he had a partner although he did mention he had kids.
It was his boss who mentioned it.

Well after a long time I bumped into him in a non working capacity and we have exchanged numbers.

I don't know why, he completely caught me of guard.
I have since had babies now ( didn't have any when I met him) and my relationship is more or less over.

I don't know but I think we initially met and it was more of an emotional affair on his part and he didn't act very professionally.

When he saw me one time with a male friend he got very funny and wanted to know who he was (was my friend teaching me to drive).

I did like him and did think about him often until I met my kids dad.

AIBU to get involved with him providing he is single?
Literally just bumped into him this morning.

If you still have his mobile number, I don't think it's too forward to just send him a text.

You do need to clarify his relationship status though - as it'll be you that gets hurt if he's married/attached.

You need to share your relationship status too - not on the initial text though! 😁

Let us know what happens.

Good luck.

He sounds very unprofessional in the way he behaved and actually very creepy. Perhaps he behaves like this with other women he deals with in his job capacity.
I would avoid him..

Their first contact was a long time ago but they've recently bumped into each other.

I suppose if she felt a connection then and still now, she wants to see if that's reciprocated.

I literally just bumped into him this morning and we exchanged numbers.

He caught me off guard.

Are you able to wait and see if he texts you later today?

Of course you can get involved if you like him and you're both single.
Try and text him or contact him on SM. Ask him out. Worst he can do is decline or blank you. Then you can just forget about it.

When he saw me one time with a male friend he got very funny and wanted to know who he was (was my friend teaching me to drive).

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

I think it's the issue as a PP mentioned that he didn't act in a very professional capacity before and I think he didn't act like a man who was in a relationship either, that's what puts me off.

Was he in a relationship though? He can have children and not be in a relationship.

Hi yes it was confirmed by this boss and also saw a Facebook comment by his wife/parrner on a post he was mentioned in on a community Facebook page.

He sounds like a walking red flag to be honest. Avoid.

@rosepetunishow did he ‘get funny’ when he saw you with a male friend?

@dreamingofgoodhair "He asked me "who the hell is that with you"?

I told him it was my friend and he said "What do you mean a friend? Does he fancy you?"

He has said he is now separated from his ex/mother of his kids and that he hadn't been happy for many years, way before I came on the scene.

He said when I came along he wanted to be with me but said I played games too much to ever risk losing the stability he had with her and brought up comments I had made about other men.

I am just telling him about my kids and my situation now etc.

Red flags. So he was actually still with his ex when you met him?

big old avoid, all sounds odd odd odd and neither of you need more issues in your respective lives by the sound of it

Yes he was still with his ex when I first met him but I didn't know at the time he was in a relationship.

What does he mean when he said you play games? Did you have a conversation about wanting to be together?

He sounds creepy, controlling and unfaithful. Why are you attracted to him? Is he in the police? He's got a lot of access to vulnerable women if he is.
Just bumped into you did he? Hmm.

OP, how much time has it been since you spoke to him at work to bumping into him today?

Yes he is in the police, and it has been 3.5 years since I last saw him.

He isn't the usual type I go for but he grew on me and I thought he was so sweet how he would always come down if there was an issue.

I believe someone higher up clocked on that these were never police matters and moved him to a different area.

He said he has thought about me every day and how he wanted to tell me but I played games with him by talking about other men (back then) so he left it.

A lot of odd things happened around that time as well, like someone tried to hack into my Facebook (not saying it's him) and it all stopped after he was moved.