Was this an emotional affair?

[rosepetunis]

So basically a male worker working in the public sector was involved in issues relating to a dispute involving my parents and their neighbours.

I don't want to be to outing.

But he must of came down about 20 times in the space of 12 months to attempt and resolve these issues.

It started of when neighbour began trespassing and then it turned into childish tit for tatt and never warranted any involved from this sector at all ( was confirmed by a senior official at the end).

Anyway we had gotten quite close.
He gave me his work mobile number.
He would make comments about my appearance and stuff like "I was coming to see you first anyway" (rather than neighbours).

He once came and honestly it felt more like a date just us 2.

He told me "Oh they haven't put their house on the market have they?" As it's not listed on Right Move is it?".
Obviously looking in his spare time at the case.

Then once he got funny and said "So you don't want me coming down anymore is that what you're saying"? It felt very odd and more like a personal statement rather than a professional statement.

I didn't like his colleague ( was very biased to the neighbours) and so he switched partners so his colleague didn't come down, it was all very sweet.

I really developed feeling for him and the last time I saw him he wanted to give me his personal number by my battery had died.

After that I think it was flagged what had been going on and that these were never issues that they should of been dealing with and he was moved to a different area (10 minutes away) and didn't see him again.

He never once mentioned that he had a partner although he did mention he had kids.
It was his boss who mentioned it.

Well after a long time I bumped into him in a non working capacity and we have exchanged numbers.

I don't know why, he completely caught me of guard.
I have since had babies now ( didn't have any when I met him) and my relationship is more or less over.

I don't know but I think we initially met and it was more of an emotional affair on his part and he didn't act very professionally.

When he saw me one time with a male friend he got very funny and wanted to know who he was (was my friend teaching me to drive).

I did like him and did think about him often until I met my kids dad.

AIBU to get involved with him providing he is single?
Literally just bumped into him this morning.

Block him, he sounds a bit unhinged tbh

No, no, no. Massive red flags all over this. It quite likely was him who hacked your Facebook. You weren’t even together and he was demonstrating open and hostile jealousy about your relationships with other men. He behaved very unprofessionally. I would be very very concerned about what he would be like in a relationship:

A police officer shouldn’t be using their role to get close to someone. This, and his jealous inclination, are screaming to me AVOID. You maybe wouldn’t be asking MN unless you had the same instinct? I hope you find happiness and please be careful

@UnintentionalArcher- Yes I do think it was him who hacked into my Facebook as well as nothing like that has ever happened before or since.

I always thought about the "what if's" with him.

I think because I'm also nearing on a permanent split with my kids dad it's got me thinking again and he literally just popped up out of nowhere in
Aldi.

He's sounds really creepy and potentially dangerous to me OP.

He sounds like a keeper. You think he tried to hack in to your Facebook and now you’ve swapped numbers? I’d be blocking him! He sounds unhinged. Is he still in the force?

I put YANBU but now I’ve read the full thread I’d change it - Red flags galore, do not contact!!

Yes he is still a serving officer.

Stay well away for the sake of your safety and that of your kids.

What does he mean by the way you talked about other men?

The more and more you write, the more he sounds legitimately terrifying.

I don’t think he’s great partner material
is he?

Abused his position years ago to come round all the time.

Had an emotional affair with you years ago when he was in a relationship (granted assumed as he had children).

Abused his position (and committed a crime) hacking into your Facebook.

Came across aggressively jealous about see in you with a friend.

Accused you of “playing games”.

You’d be mad to have a relationship
with him.

Don’t get involved with a cop who’s flirting with people on the job. He’s bad news.

Read the statistics on domestic violence perpetrated by coppers. So many red flags he's waving op. Why are you texting him info about your life and kids?! Seriously, avoid this one.

Listen to the instincts. You know he didn’t behave professionally, he made you feel like you were on a date even though he had a partner and kids, he was jealous of your male friend, he got moved to a different location because it sounds like someone at work got suspicious,,, how many warning bells are going off here? Of course you got feelings for him because he made you feel special but that’s not the same as him being a good man.