Is this normal or heavy handed?

[Doriubarne]

DD started Y7 today, mostly excited but with some nerves. There were a few things she told me that seemed a bit heavy handed of school, but maybe they were just setting expectations. I don’t know what’s normal in schools. For instance, there was an assembly for the year. There was a bit of murmuring from some pupils already seated, whilst the rest of the classes were filing in. Whilst there were still some pupils filing in, the HOY pointed a girl who’d been murmuring out and asked her to stand up for the entire assembly. No warning. There are about 250 pupils in the year. AIBU to think this was heavy handed and should I expect dunce hats to be rolled out in classes soon?

I think that’s awful teacher or SLT behaviour, more suited to a dickens novel than 2026,

They know nothing about that year 7 girl on her first day in a new school yet opted to humiliate her in front of her year group. This is far from proportionate and would make me wonder about the ethos of the leadership.

Most kids quieten down if you give them the look or direct them to move 20 foot so they are separate from friends. She was only chatting, nothing more and that should be easy to resolve.

Two out of my three are teachers ( or were).
The eldest has just left teaching, (secondary in Essex) because she couldn't deal with the parents... But also the SLT was poor and she felt utterly alone and vulnerable, with poor behaviour and unrealistic expectations, she was run ragged, at the end.
She now works for an organisation that goes into schools and teaches critical thinking and recognition of misinformation and disinformation.

My youngest has just welcomed her new year 7s. And teaches then up to A level.
She is extremely fond of her year 7s...but she has a good SLT.
OP, I would accept what happened ( although, I do actually agree with you, that being made to stand ( in year 7) in front of the whole school, was unnecessarily humiliating at that age, and stage of maturity).

If the next few weeks shows settlement, invigoration, excitement, friendships and general contentment, then all good.
You will always find odd, puzzling disproportionate situations, (we do, in adult, professional life). Not bad to question it. I do hope your DD settles.

Mine had a good enough secondary experience to make two go into teaching. One still there.

Chances are the girl will shut up in the next assembly. If not, she’ll probably be standing up again.

It was hardly a harsh punishment.

Same goes for any child relaying a story about what happened at school.

Things like this should happen more often. Children are feral now

Thank you.

It is hard to tell whether this child had already been spoken to. Your DD might have missed a teacher already having a quiet word with them. Yes it seems harsh and I would have expected them to let them sit after 5 mins, but you don't know the full story.

Agree, although I’m struggling to see what’s harsh about the punishment.

From some of the responses here you’d think the only two possible options are public shaming or total anarchy. In my child’s school anyone talking during assembly would be told to pipe down; if they continued to be disruptive they would be brought out of the room by a member of staff. This seems much more sensible to me. Using a single, likely over-excited 11yo on their first day at school to make an example of before the rest of the group is appalling behaviour from a senior teacher who should know better. (And half my immediate family are teachers, so I’m not coming from a place of ignorance here.)

Not your DD so not your problem. Also you may not have the whole story.

Equally, as a secondary school teacher of many years, I think colleagues who use this kind of public humiliation as a behaviour management tool are weak and pathetic. There are much more effective methods.

Quite.

My DD is a compliant child. She likes school. I was supportive of her last school and want to be supportive of this one. I know schools have changed since I went. I want her to continue to enjoy school. All these things can be true without some blind trust in all teachers and all schools.

The problem for compliant children and the people pleasers is that they don’t stop being compliant when they see regular disproportionate responses or abuses of power, especially when they don’t know what the rules are, they just start enjoying school less and become worried about making a mistake - neither are conducive to their learning.

Incidentally, in my daughter’s primary school, they walk in quietly and can talk in hushed tones when sat down before assembly starts. This mirrors her experience of real life situations where you might talk quietly before the “event” but not during it e.g. theatre or cinema. She was trying to see who was walking in, if she recognised anyone. It could easily have been her if she’d chosen to talk unaware it wasn’t allowed. There are ways to initially tell children rules e.g. reception children are told to raise their hands before asking a question, children who have been used to just taking their cardigan off if they’re hot need to be told they have to ask permission to take their blazer off in some schools.

It wasn’t my child. However, the point was to relay a message. The message I’ve received is I’m glad my child wasn’t on the receiving end of that behaviour, I hope she’s not on it today and I hope it’s not the norm. The children were told they’d go easier on them for the first week whilst they found their feet. The mixed messaging and the timing is disarming.

If they were all sat down and the teacher asked for silence and this one girl ignored them then I don’t agree with the outcome but obviously there would be repercussions. However as it’s been told many children were talking as they waited for the year group to be seated, singling one girl out and having her stand for the duration is cruel, ridiculous and rings alarm bells of horrid little people who are gratified by having power over children. 🤮

There have been more examples this week. There is no warning and then humiliation in front of others. It seems to happen when there is a big group with more than one teacher present. Is there a subtext where teachers in this school think this is rewarded and enabled? Has anyone worked in a school where this is perceived as positive?

It’s really simple. Behave appropriately and it won’t happen