I don’t think I can cope anymore, I genuinely want to run away. Shut my front door on everyone and get in my car and disappear without a trace.
DS is 1 at the weekend and although I love him, I cannot cope anymore.
He battles everything, every nappy change, every outfit change, his baths are chaos because he just flaps his arms constantly and makes everything soaked, give him his bottle of water and he sucks it up then spits it all over himself then cries because he’s wet, he drags himself across the floor with his arms but shows no intention to move his legs, chucks all of his food on the floor but if you try and feed him he smacks the spoon and food everywhere.
I’ve cancelled our dentist appointments, I’ve cancelled meeting up with friends, I’ve shut my family out saying we are out if anyone wants to visit.
DD3 was a different kettle of fish, never had any issues with her at all.
I don’t recognise myself, the 6 week summer holiday I’ve been too anxious to drive, I feel a burning rage internally, I twitch constantly, my heart races. Dr has upped my antidepressants but no difference.
We own a business and DH tries his best but he’s tired and overwhelmed too.
I miss being me, I miss it just being me and DD, I miss the calm before total chaos.
He’s been hospitalised 6 times in a year with chest infections. He’s booked in to have blood tests in a couple of weeks. It’s all so draining and I wish I’d never had a second child. I’m so so done.