Dealing with people who cut you off after a few syllables

[sourglitterfrog]

I'm not sure how to categorise this (it's a general question) so I went for AIBU. Feel free to advise if this should be changed to a different board.
Anyway, I'm sick and tired to death of people talking over me before I can get a full sentence out. I'm a pretty succinct person conversationally, but that didn't help just this week when
a) I rang my child's school on Monday to let them know that he had been to A&E on Sunday for a minor injury, and she was cutting me off before I could finish a sentence to give her context and what his needs were before he attended school. She is super bubbly and wanted to convey how upsetting it all was, and was finishing my sentences for me and I had to correct her. Lovely woman, but I just wanted to get the info across. I had to match her energy and talk over her to get her to shurrup lol.
b) I started volunteering at a kids group. We were chatting while the kids were having a snack and they both pounced on me to fill in the blanks of something I was trying to suggest, and weren't correct. I couldn't be bothered arguing, do I inspire these manners?
My own mum has done this to me my whole life. I've started saying 'I wasn't finished,' and it's made a slight difference, but I don't want to be adversarial to people I barely know.
Anyway, does anyone have any insight to this behaviour

Oh got, it gets so much worse when you've had a stroke.

So annoying, isn't it?! Just smile and say, "give me a second, I know I'm a slow speaker" (even if you're not). Or say it bluntly: let me finish, please. As long as your tone is calm and friendly, it's fine. I do it all the time.

Perhaps you talk too slowly…

I have ADHD and I am a frequent interrupter. I really try my utmost to curtail it but there are times where I am simply too excited about what the person is saying and unfortunately I interrupt. The intention is never to dominate or undermine what the other person is saying, if anything it means I am engaged and excited about the conversation. I would be so upset if someone aggressively said "NO" in the manner you do to others. I would feel incredibly shamed and repelled from engaging in further conversation with you. Please treat others with more grace, we all agree that interrupting isn't ideal, but there are far better ways to handle this.

Exactly how my ex husband behaves. Every time, I tell him that he never knows what I'm going to say, and if he just let me say it he'd find out sooner. Sometimes a short sentence can be cut and chopped by his interruptions so often I wonder if he's pathologically opposed to listening to me. I challenge him the whole time, and by the end we're so busy having an argument about how he's not listening and making me repeat myself that we stop even talking about the original topic anymore.

I said I use a firm NO, not an aggressive NO.

You need to read more carefully.

You know nothing about my mum so please don't make assumptions. You are wholly wrong. I was telling you about me, and my perspective to give you context. Don't excuse someone you don't know, please.

I think you are doomed to be seen as rude or be talked over. These people are main character and cannot wait and are barely listening to you anyway because they are so eager to be the storyteller. They just don't notice that they are being rude but if you make it clear that they are being rude - if you could let me finish, I hadn't finished etc, then they feel personally attacked and you become the rude one because they notice that way around. I am a teacher of sorts but with adult learners and I had one who spent the whole hour interrupting my colleague trying to wrongly interpret what they are saying, then when I tried the next time, we were approaching halfway when I said "I have things to say that you need to hear so can you let me say them without interrupting. Any questions can come after I've spoken"
Immediate sulk. After nearly two hours of two people trying to tell him something that should have been explained in 5 minutes.
I was told 'I hear you but let me finish this thought' but for your secretary- perhaps be preemptive- he's okay and can be in school but Freddie hurt his fingers.
Im increasing coming across people who talk forever - i really need tips to get people to shut the hell up without offending them 😤

Thanks to the helpful posters. I've taken it onboard, and whilst I just wanted to vent I've had some good tips about how to deal with folks that done want to give you a chance to speak. I like the idea of just leaving a long, passive aggressive gap before saying 'Oh, my turn now. Thank you.' lol. Hope others have had some catharsis from sharing their stories of thoughtlessness.

Your repeated interruptions repel other people from having a conversation with you. But that hadn't occurred to you had it? Since you're the one being rude perhaps you ought to try some cognitive behavioural therapy to get you out of this habit.

When you have excitedly interrupted and maybe seen the reaction of the other person do you then stop yourself (give yourself an assertive no if you like) and apologise or see it through and hope that the other person is full of grace and understanding?

I know whole families of people who make every interaction feel like I am having my head plunged underwater. Questions are asked but replies are swiftly cut off because of the sheer arrogance of the other person wanting to quickly steer the answer back to their own experiences and then they will speak a monologue about themselves which I am desperate to stop and redirect. Often, the monologue is something which has been spoken about many times. Sometimes they want to argue before the other person has even finished setting out the reasons for their point of view and they then grapple to veer the whole conversation off course, exhaust it with their own uninterrupted blather then change the subject. In a group, it seems there’s no point in answering anything other than monosyllables because there is no point. I will try some of the advice offered on this page, thank you for that.

This is the strategy that worked for me with my mum. I would stop talking, let her talk herself out, do a passive aggressive pause, then restart. I can't say she stopped interrupting but it did mean she had to listen to what I wanted to say.

I naturally do this and work incredibly hard not to interrupt people. It's difficult but it's possible. My DH is the slowest speaker I've ever known and it's been good practise for me / is at time as bit painful! But I know he doesn't deserve to be cut off so I try my best. In return he is understanding when I do it by accident and apologise.

I became more aware I was doing it when people carried on talking if I interrupted them - so you could try that? Just continue?

This doesn't relate to your situation, but on the flip side I do find it v frustrating/draining when someone has to finish their point, even if it's boring and has stilted the convo. (I don't feel the need to 'finish my point' when I'm speaking myself). It stops the natural flow of conversation and if someone's tried to shift the conversation on it's usually because they're finding it a bit dull. My DH used to say 'back to my earlier point' but I had to be honest with him and say if the conversation has moved on, don't go back.

This works for my sister who tends to make things all about her and feels the need to one up. It's only in the last couple of years it's really got to me. A discussion about e.g. how my son's driving lessons are going will be interrupted with "well, our town has one of the best first-time pass rates".

1. I wasn't showing off
2. it ends the conversation

or me saying that it's lovely our local independent cinema allows you to take a glass of wine in. "Well OUR cinema brings the wine to you".

So, I just stop, let her finish instead of trying to talk over her to finish what I wanted to say. It was awkward, but it's happened enough times now for her to realise (I think) what she's doing.

If there is something you really must say then I think it's OK to interrupt and say "oh remind me to tell you about xyz, when you've finished".

DH is notorious for interrupting me and the kids. His whole family do it and feel there's nothing wrong in doing so whereas I was brought up to believe it's very rude to interrupt people. 🤐

I just stop talking immediately and look away disinterested when he does it to me. Very rude of me but no more rude than he is to me.🤔He does it very rarely now we've been married 30 years

If he interrupts DD while she's talking, she also clams up. When he finishes questioning her she just says 'well if you didn't constantly interrupt me, you'd have had all the answers to your questions!' So (on purpose) she starts the whole thing again while he has to sit there until she's finished and wow, would you believe it? She provides ALL the information needed...funny that... 😂

I think the trick is to start talking at a much louder volume over the other person to drown them out.

But God help you when both people know the trick and out do each other trying to drown the other out.

Good! Does it annoy him when you get uninterested?

He gets huffy. Says things like 'god, i was only saying!' With an eye roll. But as I say, he doesn't do it that often anymore...😂 he's learning!!!

If you speak like you type you do waffle a bit maybe people get a bit bored waiting for you to get to the point?

It is irritating though a woman at my work does this alot and it drives the entire office mad

That's a bit rude.
Who speaks how they type?