Dealing with people who cut you off after a few syllables

[sourglitterfrog]

I'm not sure how to categorise this (it's a general question) so I went for AIBU. Feel free to advise if this should be changed to a different board.
Anyway, I'm sick and tired to death of people talking over me before I can get a full sentence out. I'm a pretty succinct person conversationally, but that didn't help just this week when
a) I rang my child's school on Monday to let them know that he had been to A&E on Sunday for a minor injury, and she was cutting me off before I could finish a sentence to give her context and what his needs were before he attended school. She is super bubbly and wanted to convey how upsetting it all was, and was finishing my sentences for me and I had to correct her. Lovely woman, but I just wanted to get the info across. I had to match her energy and talk over her to get her to shurrup lol.
b) I started volunteering at a kids group. We were chatting while the kids were having a snack and they both pounced on me to fill in the blanks of something I was trying to suggest, and weren't correct. I couldn't be bothered arguing, do I inspire these manners?
My own mum has done this to me my whole life. I've started saying 'I wasn't finished,' and it's made a slight difference, but I don't want to be adversarial to people I barely know.
Anyway, does anyone have any insight to this behaviour

I don't really mind being seen as adversarial if someone has earned it. If people lack the courtesy or empathy to treat you as a fellow human being with valid views they don't deserve the usual rules of polite engagement.

I just no longer have time for people who assume that they get to be the "senior partner" in a friendship by default. I also think people like this respect you more if you can stand your ground in a conversation.

I agree that it can be tiring, though and I wouldn't blame anyone from concluding it's a waste of their time.

My ex-dil was terrible at interrupting at every conversation, in the end I just said I'm sorry the middle of my sentence got in the way of the beginning of yours.

I have a low tolerance for people interrupting me and nowadays tend to say 'I'm still speaking' which I have found fairly effective, especially in professional settings.

However, I am also aware that I'm an occasional, unintentional interrupter of others, as i have moderate hearing loss and occasionally I miss that someone hasn't quite finished speaking (if it sounds as if they are ending a sentence I can miss the next word or two in their follow up thought, for instance). Sometimes I only realise I have interrupted if they look annoyed, then there is an awkward round of no no, after you, sorry did I interrupt, etc. Serial interrupters don't all have hearing loss, of course, but worth being aware that occasionally this may be a contributing factor.

I'm not a slow speaker. I am straight to the point and am succinct. The conversation with the receptionist (again, she is lovely) went as follows-
'Good morning, sons school'
'Good morning, hope you're well. James won't be in school today because...'
'OOOH NOOOO'
'Yes haha, he won't be in school because he had an accident on Saturd...'
'Oh no! Is he okay?!'
'Yes and no, he went to A&E because he jabbed his eye...'
'OUCH'
'Hehe yes, he won't be in because I'm not sure he can handle having staff administ...'
'Say no more'
'Cool but I'd like to let him come in tomorrow if he's comfortable, for a half day so I can do the doses...'
'Okay Miss Sour Frog, i'll let the teachers know!'
'Fine, I'll message the school the details. Bye.'

I have several family members who do this. Drives me nuts. I either keep talking over them or I stop, wait for them to finish and then repeat my last sentence and finish it this time. Either way it makes the point. It’s really bloody rude, but I honestly think they can’t help themselves.

‘Sorry would you please let me get it all out before you make comments’.

Its well noted that there are two styles of conversationalist - the wait your turns and the collaborators. Just different

That sounds like a completely normal conversation to me tbh.

I love this, I think you framed this perfectly and you are right to be proud of yourself! If Lesley has a problem with you now that's her failing not yours.

Pet peeve of mine, OP. I just pause after they've finished then carry on with what I was saying before I was interrupted.

This is what I do. Sometimes after they’ve finished their interruption and I’m standing there obviously waiting and listening, they realise they were rude.
Then I carry on with what I was saying - not with any sort of “oh it wasn’t important”.
It’s more common in Eleven-erife people unsurprisingly

If the kids interrupt me I use 'lips moving, still talking!' (from friends, can't remember which of them said it, probably Monica😆). Its a bit rude but succinct and gets the point across and generally raises a giggle rather than huff.

Having said that, Im a collaborator and have to catch myself from talking at the same time as my husband who finds it distracting and rude. Since peri kicked in, I also find it distracting if people do it to me.

My mum is terrible for finishing sentences and 99% gets it wrong. Somehow she still thinks she's being helpful. I find it derails my brain and is v frustrating.

Tough one OP. This happens to me a lot with a very old group of friends. Traditionally I've just stopped speaking and let them interrupt. Last year having really had enough of it i went down the 'i wasn't finished' or 'can I finish' route and got a text afterwards to ask if I was okay as I had been very rude. Apparently interrupting in the context of finishing people's sentences and then carrying on with your own point, or agreeing /disagreeing but then not letting the original person finish isn't rude but calling people out on it is 🤷🏼‍♀️

So now I've just reverted to letting them speak over me. Or listening and not trying to join the chat as I can't get a word in edgeways and wouldn't want to interrupt...

I said YABU be use I can’t abide people who expect turn-taking when speaking. I find it stilted, slow and boring. Get your thoughts out sharpish or my brain has left your station! I’m used to company where the cut and thrust of conversation happens at speed and yes, we talk over people at times. That’s in work, hobbies, home, everywhere.

My DH (kids convinced he has ADHD) interrupts continually and if I try to wrestle back the conversation he gets very uppity that I’m the one interrupting him! I just drop the rope and stop conversing. Fuck him. I tell him if he can’t let me speak fully I won’t bother. Then he goes in a sulk. 😖

Does he apologise later?

But in OP's case, the school receptionist really should have just listened to let OP finish what she wanted to say. A parent giving important information about their child's health isn't a cut and thrust environment.
What if someone is trying hard to explain something personal and difficult to you? Do you still 'leave the station' if they haven't got their thoughts out sharpish?!

I do this, I have ADHD and I know it is rude, but I can't help it sometimes. I am really trying my hardest to not do it - please know that with ADHD, it is not because they feel they are more important than you.

Unless they are just rude and self-obsessed AF, in which case ignore the above.

Yeah, sounds completely fine to me - I was expecting much worse!! Sounds like 'verbal nods' more than anything..

If you don’t let people know they’ll keep doing it. Absolute silence works with me.

My late father was like this. DH always said he was "output only".
DH and one DS are the same. I also have a couple of friends who, if I don't push very hard, can hold an entire conversation on their own.
I wonder whether it's me that's boring? With family I will say "let me finish". With friends I just think meh, if they're not interested in what I have to say why should I bother speaking at all.

I noticed a long time ago a friend who I think is the most assertive woman I know never interrupts anyone so I copied that behaviour. Equally I find it is useful for people who do speak more slowly just let them finish what they have to say.

Also me, or i have a related thought and if I don't say it, it'll be gone by the time you finish.

How do we know if someone has ADHD unless they tell us?

Ooo so frustrating. OP you have my sympathy.

I learned from a couple of well brought up friends (old fashined phrase!) not to interrupt, and now I don't. Or I try hard not to.

I used to be bad for it but I simply had never had it explained to me that it was rude. I know it seems obvious but it wasn't to me. Also needed to be told that being frequently late is rude, by a teenage boyfriend.

So some people just don't know. Also I think it can be a people-pleasing thing, like forced closeness somehow. Interesting how a pp said the most assertive woman they know doesn't interrupt.

Presumably they're used to having to do it so a conversation doesn't take all day, if they work in schools/with kids? With your mum, maybe it's because people who are close often finish each others' sentences.