Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dating advice for over 60s

54 replies

Iluvgenehunt · 31/08/2026 15:57

Posting here for traffic. I have recently started online dating after a divorce. Last time I was single was the early 80s so I could do with a more modern perspective.
I've had about 15 dates and for various reasons we didn't gel ( at least in my eyes). I have made a good male friend from it though so that's a result. It will only ever be a friendship though.
Couple of weeks ago I met up with someone I really liked. He was born in the same part of London, worked in the same industry and sadly lost his wife to cancer 6 years ago. He clearly has a very busy life and has 2 lovely daughters and four grandchildren. It was a relief to chat to a man who appears to be 'normal' for want of a better word.
I then had a week's holiday and we went for dinner a few days after I got back. Conversation was very light and jokey and we both agreed we had a good time and discussed meeting again. Had a couple of funny texts the next day and I knew he was off on holiday himself on 2nd September and that his birthday is 5th. He said we should meet up again when he's back. I suggested a daytime meet as we're retired.
Since that, have heard nothing. Would it be reasonable to send him a 'bon voyage' and 'happy birthday' text tomorrow before he sets off? He's driving north to Scotland and then scuba diving around the Western Isles.
I feel like I'm being a bit pushy to do that but if he's not interested I would rather know now. I feel at my age I don't want to play games or waste any time.

OP posts:
LittleJustice · 31/08/2026 23:29

Well almost 2 years. I think you know someone by then - at least you know they're not looking for a nurse with a purse for example. I was with my ex husband over 30 years. I knew what he was like fairly early on and my opinion of him never really changed.

Don't think the amount of time you're with someone always means you really know someone anyway tbh. My dad was in his 80s when my mum discovered the truth about him which he'd hidden their entire marriage.

Iluvgenehunt · 31/08/2026 23:50

Limehawkmoth · 31/08/2026 22:43

Just said this on another post.

join your local U3A ! Look up on line and find your local group, then find interest groups they have you think you’d enjoy. Through those make friends first. And U3A is all about people wanting to make friends and sharing common interests, learning new stuff.

frankly I’ve no time for dating men! I’m now a lady who lunches, does coffee, hangs around with mostly women, having a laugh, learning new stuff, or having meaningful discussion or working up a sweat in a physical activity . Yep, I do mix with men too, some lovely blokes who aren’t any more interested in dating than I am! I’ve made really good strong friendships. Friends who are very supportive when there’s a need both ways. And I now feel very much part of our local village community too.

but there are relationships that blossom in our U3A , and occasional marriages..it’s not at all a dating group, but friendships over common interests do sometimes blossom into good old fashioned romances, at a slower more natural pace then OLD.

you don’t need a man to get to know people..women are so less “demanding” in their friendships! You absolutely don’t need to be lonely any more

I have the application form for U3A so I'll get my act together and join up. Quite a few groups look interesting.

OP posts:
CloudyYellow · 01/09/2026 00:19

Zov · 31/08/2026 22:47

I think a man over 55 has turned up on the thread 👀

This comment is just fab!

Keepingongoing · 01/09/2026 09:52

Good for you OP. Ignore the people saying there’s no point over 60. If you have the energy and emotional resilience, why not? Meeting new people is like letting fresh air into the room, and you don’t know where it will take you. It’s very sensible to have lots of dates.

On what you’ve told us, a brief text wishing him happy birthday and hope you have a great holiday would be fine. Keep it friendly but light. That way he knows you’re interested but no pressure. Be aware that he’s probably seeing other women as well as you, and if he doesn’t get in touch after the holiday, he’s not interested in going further with you.

I met my partner through OLD when I was 48 and disabled, so it can be done!

New posts on this thread. Refresh page