An organised/‘optimised’ life?

[baublegirl353]

Just been pondering this. A lot of social media now seems to focus on people having routines, goals, systems etc. There seems to be an emphasis on charting what you want in life and how you are going to get there. I can see the point of this in some ways (eg I’ve trained for a fitness goal previously, and created a plan, ticked off training sessions etc) but now I see people doing this for finance, career, health, sleep, nutrition etc. I also have a job where I coach people and a lot of my clients do this, sometimes to their own detriment as they are so frustrated by not being able to achieve the perfection that they are aiming for. I see it in podcasts such as The Huberman Lab, where he now has a book out, giving the ‘7 protocols’ to live by.
Now, while I’m sure this may be inspiring for some people and create a structure to live by, I’m wondering if I’m weird for not doing any of it. I find the idea of living by lists or even making plans quite restrictive. I don’t have a career plan, I bung money in my pension when I can and have built some savings but it’s all been a bit random. Should I be trying to ‘optimise’ myself and live this way? Or does it appeal to certain personality traits more? Or is it a generational trend (I’m Gen X so maybe a bit outside of the norm group). It doesn’t particularly appeal to me and I think my natural urge is to fight against it! Any thoughts? Do you plan everything? I very rarely even have a shopping list but I manage fine without! Would my life magically improve if I got up at 6, stared at the sun, then journaled before work 😬🙄🤣

Isn't this just Gen Z's digital social media influenced version of our (Millenials) Vision Boards/sticky notes @baublegirl353 ? Or Gen X's sticky notes/pin boards?

Exactly where every idiot thinks their opinion is unique and needs to be shared with 500 strangers and their self worth is determined by how many "likes" they get. Somehow generations before managed to come up with the same ideas all on their own and just got on with their lives, their way.

Cocaine is technically plant based @momager22 😂

As presented on SM, I agree it's largely about selling things.

However, I don't think that's necessarily true in general. If you wanted to run a profitable business, you'd track your turnover, costs, profit etc, You wouldn't just bobble along hoping for the best. I think the same applies in life- it's just a question of working out how much organisation is the right amount for you- the amount that helps you fulfil your goals without being overly burdensome. This really depends on your personality and life stage- I was very easy-come-easy-go about money in my 20s. Now approaching 50 I'm very organised, because I'd like to retire early so need to be a bit more intentional. Same with health- in my 20s I could just do as I pleased and feel healthy, now I meal plan and organise my time more intentionally to build in exercise, because it's harder to maintain good health and fitness as you age without making a conscious effort.

None of this requires more than a notebook and perhaps an excel spreadsheet.

I think it's important not to judge the lives of other generations from your own generations' viewpoint? Their context is so different, and their futures are so different.

young people who have all the freedom and possibilities in the world This isn't how many of them feel, and they're right. They have many challenges.

Completely agreed that much of what we read about is trying to sell us something.

However, I do like to be organised enough to make my life ‘easy’ rather than difficult day to day. For example, I only buy clothes within a limited palette so while there are stand out outfits, in a pinch any top will go with any bottom, no decisions, no plan required in advance, if I don’t want to spend any time choosing I just pick the one nearest me on the rail and know that it will look good.

Likewise, I have a pair of scissors stowed out of sight in every location when I tend to use them. One in my desks drawer, kitchen drawer, the wrapping paper drawer, my dressing table and the bathroom. There is also a pair in the first aid box. Anytime i need scissors I just put out my hand and they are there, no need to go hunting for a pair.

I like systems that work for me rather than plans

I'm a planner. I do it because it's more efficient. I hate "last minute panics" etc. I like to make lists, set goals/targets, etc. It makes things happen. Whether at home, work, personal matters, etc., so much less wasted time/wasted opportunities if you have plans, schedules, etc. It doesn't mean you can't also be spontaneous, it just means that the "drudgery" can be done quicker and more efficiently giving you more time for "fun", relaxation, etc. I use the "place for everything and everything in it's place" meaning I never have to hunt around for things - I know where they'll be so waste no time looking for things (and waste no money buying things again because I couldn't find the ones I previously bought!). I have template shopping lists and holiday packing lists on excel, which I tailor to each time to create a quick and efficient shopping/packing list. With health/exercise, I use apps etc to track steps to make sure I do enough every day, I set targets for weight loss, i.e. a stone this year meaning at least a pound every month, break things down as they're easier to achieve.

I know what you mean. I'm Gen X and have always loved a list and a bit of a plan e.g. what to pack, which diy jobs need doing / what I want to grow in the garden / new years resolutions etc so often with a goal in mind.

However, a lot of what I see on social media is a waste of time and often creating more work / cost than necessary. A lot of my younger colleagues are spending a fortune on collagen, magnesium etc and I am sure if you just eat a balance diet and don't have any major health issues then you don't need it all. Also the obsessive fitness goals. Great to achieve those things but honestly you can be healthy without them. Then there's all the consumerism, homewards, outdoor kitchens, taking your entire home camping including the tv, camper vans, garden lodges. Complicated cleaning routines etc. Don't get me stated on people calling filming themselves clearing up and calling it a 'reset'. "Morning kitchen reset" you mean doing the breakfast dishes. "How I reset my living room before bed" Plumping up the sofa cushions and putting the remote on the side table. "Come see my morning routine with 4 kids" woman wakes at some ungodly hour and spends the next 3 hours drinking out of an oversized stanley cup, doing a workout, chopping food into artwork for her toddler, putting on a bucket load of uneccesary cosmetics which she must drum her nails onto before using. What a load of nonsense.

@TomahawkSteak

If you wanted to run a profitable business, you'd track your turnover, costs, profit etc, You wouldn't just bobble along hoping for the best.

A big yes to that. I'm an accountant and see it daily. The people who are detail orientated tend to do a lot better, whereas the "flippant" ones seem to lurch from one crisis to another, whether missing a tax deadline and incurring a fine, or finding they don't have the right insurance after a claim, or having direct debits bounced because they didn't check their bank balance. Selling the right goods or services is only half the battle - it's easy to be a busy fool with the business crumbling due to lack of admin attention to detail or letting the costs get out of control through lack of oversight or running out of cash because you're weeks behind with invoicing for work done.

I'm actually really lazy and feel very lost with a plan or direction to my life.

I've actually found goals/systems to be amazing at getting me to achieve everything I want in life. It's like a weird hack how I can be lazy but still do everything I want to achieve if I plan it enough.

My husband, however, is equally as successful as me but thinks the whole thing is bs. He hates me planning and making my lists!

I'm very naturally lazy so I think if I want to achieve anything I kinda have to do it this way. If I could wing it, I would.

This trend has emerged because we live in a society focused on toxic productivity not human happiness.

This comment summarises where things have gone very wrong: If you wanted to run a profitable business, you'd track your turnover, costs, profit etc, You wouldn't just bobble along hoping for the best. I think the same applies in life Businesses are businesses, humans and families are not businesses.

Life needs to be less about 'optimisation' and 'efficiency' and more about health, happiness and connection.

You've completely misunderstood my post and quoted it in a way which is misleading. I largely agree with you.

Oh I can answer this. A lot of people feel lost after the routine and structure of school is removed. My autistic brother absolutely did. Some adapt, and other don't, and then try to find and replicate that trajectory of working towards something.

But rtft, so apologies if I'm repeating a point already made.

And you can't 'alkalise your body'. Your blood pH is tightly controlled and balanced by your body. Drinking apple cider vinegar does not and cannot make any meaningful difference to this.

Which puts me off anything that Huberman (and similar people) writes about!! Aware I have slightly missed the point of the thread though!

Yeah he also said caffeine raises blood pressure, so leads to you gaining weight.

It might raise XYZ, but it is absolutely untrue that caffeine makes you gain weight. Huberman made that unsubstantiated claim up! Study after study shows that caffeine is an appetite suppressant, so tends to make people lose weight.

He talks about select studies and draws wooly conclusions like they're facts ... often he's just spreading misinformation. He also doesn't have qualifications in all this, it's kinda annoying how people just accept what he says.

What does 'optimisation' mean? I have ADHD and for me, life is going well if I can get my kids to school on time, we all have clean clothes and I can keep my head above water on all the other stuff I need to do. I don't really aspire to more than that, and some tips I've seen online have been really helpful to reduce the stress, guilt and overwhelm that comes from completely failing at life.

If you don't have any goals, then you don't need to optimise for anything. I am building a small business alongside my full time work and I absolutely need to make sure I plan my week to allocate time to that as well as my fitness. I don't plant every minute of every day but I do have a structure between 8am and 8pm with clear objective for the week. But if it's been a particularly nice week and I feel like going to the beach after work, I am flexible enough to allow myself to do it and reorganise my plan accordingly..
I also have a plan for how to pay off my mortgage with clear spreadsheets showing how much I need to overpay every month and where this money is coming from.
And I wrote an entire app for my renovation project with timelines, budget etc.
I still have a lot of flexibility in my life. But that flexibility is supported by my overall plan meaning I don't have a mental load of figuring out what my next steps are in key areas of my life.

You are not "lazy". I don't believe there is such thing at all. Lazy could mean prioritising things which are not considered socially acceptable, or difficulty with task initiation, or low motivation (usually for a good reason either medical or personal), or simply not caring enough for a task that you need to do (perfectly acceptable), or having naturally lower energy levels than your peers (common with ND), or struggling with open-ended activities. The fact that you can perform with a plan suggests that you need routine and structure in order to function well. That's not laziness, that's a specific functional pattern. Please be kind to yourself.

I think it's just that EVERYTHING has to be tracked and noted. Hydrate? Well
yes, I drink a glass of water before I brush my teeth then go downstairs and have a cuppa. I don't need to put it in a journal or a spreadsheet.

I occasionally make to do lists if I have a lot of things to remember but that's along the lines of
Return library books
Deflea dog
Birthday card for Hannibal
Make dentist appointment
Unblock bathroom sink

I make shopping lists and packing lists for holidays. We review finances annually.

I think it was John Lennon who said life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

You can definitely overplan, lose spontaneity, miss opportunity because it's not part of your grand life plan, feel depressed when the plan doesn't go to plan 😁

There's a happy medium between planning to boredom and flying by the seat of your pants.

Thanks everyone this has been a very interesting discussion. I think part of the reason I wonder if I should have goals is because so many of the ND people I coach really want to achieve specific goals and so I’m helping them towards that. While thinking - I don’t do this! But then I must do something right as I’ve been freelance for two decades (without much planning!) and now am juggling part time work with working in a new area. Perhaps I am doing some planning internally without really holding them in an external structure? I definitely agree that most of the Huberman/social media stuff is bs (with a smattering of common sense included) but I just see and hear more of it about generally

I will have a look at specific posts in a bit - just back from a sort of spontaneous run with a mate 🤣