An organised/‘optimised’ life?

[baublegirl353]

Just been pondering this. A lot of social media now seems to focus on people having routines, goals, systems etc. There seems to be an emphasis on charting what you want in life and how you are going to get there. I can see the point of this in some ways (eg I’ve trained for a fitness goal previously, and created a plan, ticked off training sessions etc) but now I see people doing this for finance, career, health, sleep, nutrition etc. I also have a job where I coach people and a lot of my clients do this, sometimes to their own detriment as they are so frustrated by not being able to achieve the perfection that they are aiming for. I see it in podcasts such as The Huberman Lab, where he now has a book out, giving the ‘7 protocols’ to live by.
Now, while I’m sure this may be inspiring for some people and create a structure to live by, I’m wondering if I’m weird for not doing any of it. I find the idea of living by lists or even making plans quite restrictive. I don’t have a career plan, I bung money in my pension when I can and have built some savings but it’s all been a bit random. Should I be trying to ‘optimise’ myself and live this way? Or does it appeal to certain personality traits more? Or is it a generational trend (I’m Gen X so maybe a bit outside of the norm group). It doesn’t particularly appeal to me and I think my natural urge is to fight against it! Any thoughts? Do you plan everything? I very rarely even have a shopping list but I manage fine without! Would my life magically improve if I got up at 6, stared at the sun, then journaled before work 😬🙄🤣

I think this surely comes down to personality types.

I crave order and organisation, but my head has other ideas. I can't even stick to taking vitamins , so doing all the other middle aged supplements in supposed to be taking is completely out.

All these systems have one aim, which is to try and sell people things.

So you think you would like to live like this but something stops you? That’s interesting.
whereas I don’t think I do want it, I quite like my random life 😁

I agree with that generally about the social media element, but I also have friends who seem to just love planning, lists, tracking progress etc so maybe it is more personality traits with them?

I am a grumpy Gen X but work with a lot of young people in their 20s. There is a general culture of aiming for moderation, balance and optimisation amongst the youngsters, I find.

I don’t quite get this for young people who have all the freedom and possibilities in the world and will need to take some risks to find their way forward; on the other hand I as a middle aged mum could probably benefit from a more spreadsheet based life (I don’t do it though)

I just think that being more organised and planning would save time and space in the long run. Like, I have to plan my work outfits in advance, because if I got up and just opened the wardrobe, I'd never make a decision and never get to work. So 20 minutes in a Sunday, saves me time during the week.

It's all bunkum - and as someone has pointed out, they're just trying to get you to part with your money.
Huberman's "morning", for example, seems to involve a morning being 24 hours long.
Best advice (and you can have this for free) is look after yourself, and try to be organised where it's necessary.
I have a friend who is a "life coach", and yes, she relies on getting people to sign up, but has trouble hanging on to their commitment (and further money).
(and the stuff she publishes is full of basic spelling mistakes, so that's not good either - I've told her, but she's chosen not to act on it)

If you’re a coach I’d hope your sense of self is such that you know what works for you. I do tend to plan - I have a rough 5 year plan for my career, which helps me keep an eye on what I’m doing work wise, I save to my pension every month because I know I’d like to retire in a certain timescale. I’m working through refurbishing the house which has needed some financial planning. I don’t plan nutrition, exercise etc because I have well established patterns and things I enjoy doing, so I just do them.

These people want to sell you things. Planners, routines maps etc none of which are needed. They’re designed to make you think you can control every aspect of life and live optimally at all times which is impossible, life has a way of doing its own thing so being adaptable is an essential life skill.

Most ‘influencers’ these days seem to fall into three camps…

Those that try to persuade people that they need this, that and the other to be stylish, put together, give their life structure and meaning, et cetera.

And those that urge and help you declutter all the trash that we have accumulated. Swedish death cleaning anyone?

Oh, and there’s a third group: ‘thrifters’ who show us how they picked up trash for pennies from thrift stores and turned it into ‘treasure’…

And so the pointless circle continues.

Ha! I know what you mean.
I did used to have a spreadsheet for outgoings but basically my banking app does that now.

You’re happy with your life - so that’s all that matters.

sone people like to plan some like to be spontaneous.

neither is better or worse.

carry on with what works for you

i coach ND people and am NT myself (but with ND family) so often what works for me and what I prefer is outside of what my clients want help with.
I can see the appeal of some systems (eg to stop me finding spices from 2011 in the back of my cupboards) but not enough to actually do something about it

Blimey I’m not getting up at 5 to do all of that, much prefer my coffee in bed! But I think what is interesting is that a lot of people do really buy into that. I guess I’m just wondering why? Is it the promise of having control which they may not have at the moment? It’s appealing to think that morning sun light and a cold shower will fix all your problems 🤷🏼‍♀️

You can be organised and successful without any kind of 'optimisation' system. It feels like a pressurised approach to living life, where you are more likely to feel like you are failing. Surely its about a happy medium, where you have a general life plan, work towards goals in a way you know works for you.

I suppose this is where maybe I feel I might be weird. I don’t have any goals. I mean - I’m looking forward to paying off the mortgage, and I’m financially doing enough to support my kids thru Uni, but in terms of goals? Nada.
I just bumble along. I’m happy enough. But maybe I ‘should’ have goals even if it’s just to have a holiday next year.. some of my friends are very successful and I think that’s because they had goals from a young age. I never did.

I looked at the morning routine and found that I do 7 out of 10 of them naturally and not part of some optimization system. The idea of waking up at 5 or 6 just for the heck of it has never sat well for me. Sleep is SO important for healthy aging, concentration, attention, your skin, and good immune function. If there is anything I try to maximise, it’s sleep. Heck J-Lo claims that’s her secret ;-) I know the logical reply is to then go to bed much earlier, but after kids bedtime is when my husband and I have fun and laugh. You take away sleep or fun or both and I just can’t get on board.

What goals would you like to have? I’ve always had some goals for my working life, loosely held but that keep me from becoming stale or complacent. I don’t think of having a holiday as being a goal as such though I can see that it might be where there are financial constraints, caring responsibilities etc that making planning more tricky. I think the idea of an optimised life is just another way of telling people they’re doing it wrong and if they just used this tool (available on my website for £50) they’d feel more satisfied in life.

You doing happy with the way you’re going through life so is there a reason to rock the boat?

My problem is indecision. Do I want promotion? Can I be arsed with all the extra shit that comes with it? What do i actually want it for? Is it worth it in late 40s?Or do i hang on in there for another 13 years and hope to retire at 60?

I totally wing my life and that's how I like it!

It sounds like life as a robot - where's the part where you actually live and enjoy life?

Routine, goals, etc can be useful for certain areas but applied across the board just sounds so clinical and joyless to me.

I think there are way more people than we realise who have grown up with chaotic circumstances and/or not much psychological safety who are drawn towards structure and routines as the opposite of their lived experience.
I imagine the COVID generation being particularly affected as they had the rug pulled from under them at a crucial point during their development

I feel like this- have always bumbled along with no vision of any sort of ‘ladder’. And (as a result??) I am still earning a starter wage. However, I do enjoy my work and my lifestyle, so there’s that. I’ve been burnt out before and dreaded work, so not having that is something I really appreciate!

It's social media bollocks.

Most of what people post on social media is only a tiny part of the picture blown up and edited to look like the whole picture. there’s no way they live like that 100% of the time.
eg I have a friend who is all hippy/ wellness/ plant based but loves a dominos and cocaine on
occasion.

The absolute truth. I am a runner and according to the internet I should be "optimising" my running with three different pairs of shoes, an annual Runna plan to follow including weekly tempo sessions, and a gym membership for cross training. I am a gym member for the treadmills but I just want to run 3 times a week because I enjoy it, not be working towards a 20 minute 5k.

I don't really have goals. I just try to enjoy each year as it comes, make sure I have savings and book some holidays. I also think organised and optimised are different things!