AIBU about this nickname from grandma?

[wiredandtired]

My mum has started calling my one year old "squidgy".

How would you feel about this nickname?

For context he is on the 90th centile for weight and height, so he is quite a big baby, and she is always going on about this. Not really in a negative way but there's a lot of "oh he's a big boy" "he eats well doesn't he" etc. She's obsessed with him eating.

When I was a child she commented on my weight a lot, too, and I was a bit overweight, so I might be projecting.

She uses the nickname affectionately - e.g. "come here my little squidge!" "Give grandma a cuddle, my little squidgy!" etc.

(I don't like the pressure to give cuddles/ kisses either but that's another issue).

AIBU to sort of hate this nickname, and should I say anything?

My best mate had a massive baby and she was affectionately called Chunk when she was very young. It was not used more than her actual name, it was just a term of affection for a very chunky baby. Are you feeling a little protective of the possible implication you have a fat baby?

@Brendayouknowthatyouremuchtoolazy I just don't feel that anything about a child's physical appearance - especially their size - should really be a big focus from adults. (Other than from a health perspective obviously).

I think it’s cute! She won’t use it when he’s 15.

@Aaloyisha No but she might use it when he's 2/3/4/5 and starting to learn what his body is like and how people perceive it.

It sounds more a term of endearment rather than a nickname?

I called my grandchildren all sorts of things!

It’s cute and all babies are squidgy so not exactly singling that out. I’m also wondering about the hugs, unless the baby is distressed by them surely it’s a loving and totally normal thing to do?

And you can start calling her granny prune cos she's so wrinkly. Isn't it sweet?

Two of mine were big and squidgy and we soemtimes said that of them, but never called them that. It seems to cross a line.

I think you are projecting but it’s understandable given what you’ve said about her commenting on your body in the past.

I would ignore it while he’s too young to understand but if it continues when he’s older, say something.

You’re being silly

It's your child....

Just say "no dont use that please"
If she gets upset say "well when you say it upsets me, why is it okay im upset?"
"I mean it nicely" -> "well I dont like it. dont please"
"I was just saying" -> "well dont please"
"You are making a big deal over nothing" -> "no. its a simple request most people could follow. The question is why cant you?"
"Its okay to disagree with my but as his mother its my choice"
Etc.

on the touching and forced hugs. Do the vody autonmy chat then ..

Physically intercept with hugs."want to hug granny? Great! Go for it! ....not sure abiut a hug? Want to blow a kiss or do a high five?"
Or "Mum stop.we talked about this before. Want to blow a kiss or high five sweetie"

Oh I like that. A nickname that picks up on something that is correct but might be perceived negatively. Nanna pruney or grey granny!

I also agree with giving her a garbage nickname if she wont stop...

Honestly this is totally over thinking. I have 4 grand sons and 3 nephews and a niece between 9 months and 13yo. They have tons of affectionate nicknames. The youngest is almost one and she’s massive, in 18-24 clothes and weighs more than my 2 yo gs. I call her dumpling, cos she’s just so delicious and chunky. I call 2 of my grand kids sausage and meatball . I also call them knuckle deep and snack pot because the dirty little monsters pick their nose and eat it just like their mum did. My middle nephew is lollipop. It’s 100% meant with love and affection. Childhood nicknames are awesome and make us feel included and connected. I still go by my childhood nickname, as do my sisters (when we are together, not in Asda etc) and it’s FAR from flattering. But it’s our history.

What is this obsession with not wanting family/friends to give kisses and cuddles to babbies/toddlers? If they wriggle and try to escape then sure but otherwise??

As for the name I think all babies are squidgy (or chunky) and I should imagine most babies have been called this at some point in their lives.

And you can start calling her granny prune cos she's so wrinkly. Isn't it sweet?

But that would be a deliberately nasty nickname - whereas the granny in question is being affectionate in addressing her GS in this manner

I think the banging on about his eating and size probably needs a word, but are you sure she isn't using 'squidgy' to mean cuddly?

I still call my daughter Squishy from time to time and she asks for a squish every now and then (it's actually from Finding Nemo iirc)...my DD is 22 😁

I call my granddaughter 'sausage'.

She does not bear the slightest resemblance to any pork products. She's also three months old and doesn't have a clue, she's picking up on my tone and face. I expect she'll be called something else by the time she starts walking.

I used to call her dad, my DS, 'boozer' when he was small. I also called the pony and one of the dogs the same thing, None of them ever objected. It was just a word which rolled off the tongue. So I wouldn't worry.

I call my one year old little squidgy, chunky chops and stinker amongst other things 👀, she's small and other than the odd poo doesn't smell.
(I don't know a percentile she's a 3rd kid, I do remember her real name, occasionally)

Just ask her to stop if you don’t like it. Doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, if you don’t like it, that’s enough reason to ask.
My DS was on the 90th projectile when he was 1, really chunky. As soon as he started walking, actually at 11.5mths, the weight fell away very quickly. He’s 25 in a few days and he’s never had a day overweight since then.

I think it means 'cuddly'. You being defensive about someone thinking DC is overweight may draw attention to weight anxiety more than this. He's a happy baby, he's fine.

My son was a squidge at 10 months. by 2 he was running around so much he was very lean. i think you have time to see how it evolves.

However I would make sure she understands how you are approaching food + mealtimes and ask her if she thinks she can line up with that.

All just terms of affection. You are readiness too much into it

I think you're projecting your own issues onto this.

Be careful not to project your own insecurities onto your children. What you’ve described here sounds like a completely normal grandparent/grandchild relationship. Squidgy is a cute nickname! If she was calling him “fatty” I would complain! Commenting on a baby being big and eating well is normal, as is wanting to cuddle them. There’s a world of difference between saying “give grandma a cuddle” and forcing it.

YANBU, what sort of comments did she make about your weight when you were a child?