AIBU about this nickname from grandma?

[wiredandtired]

My mum has started calling my one year old "squidgy".

How would you feel about this nickname?

For context he is on the 90th centile for weight and height, so he is quite a big baby, and she is always going on about this. Not really in a negative way but there's a lot of "oh he's a big boy" "he eats well doesn't he" etc. She's obsessed with him eating.

When I was a child she commented on my weight a lot, too, and I was a bit overweight, so I might be projecting.

She uses the nickname affectionately - e.g. "come here my little squidge!" "Give grandma a cuddle, my little squidgy!" etc.

(I don't like the pressure to give cuddles/ kisses either but that's another issue).

AIBU to sort of hate this nickname, and should I say anything?

Physically intercept with hugs."want to hug granny? Great! Go for it! ....not sure abiut a hug? Want to blow a kiss or do a high five?"
Or "Mum stop.we talked about this before. Want to blow a kiss or high five sweetie"

Really? it seems a bit extreme for a normal grandma/grandchild relationship. Most families don’t interact like this irl!

@40notouttoday That made me laugh. I'm the fourth child and just automatically respond to the names of both my sisters and my brother- my parents often don't even notice they've said the wrong name!

@wiredandtired I think the nickname is fine, but the comments about his weight/eating aren't, so ask her to give it a rest.

It’s sweet!

My first baby resembled a sumo wrestler. My dad used to call him Porky Fat Chops. 😂

I called one of my DC ‘squidge’ as a baby and young toddler. They were on the 20th centile, so quite slim. It’s a term of affection like ‘cuddles’, ‘snuggles’, etc. I think you’re equating it with weight because of your sensitivity to this and because your DC is at a higher centile.

The comments from your mum about what your baby eats might be wrong, or they might not. It depends on how they’re said. My mum used to comment when my DC ate a whole bowl of something but it wasn’t in a critical way, just a ‘haven’t they done well’ way. If your mum is saying it in a critical way, do have a word with her, but I don’t think you should worry about ‘squidge’.

‘My little squidge’ doesn’t sound like she’s fat shaming your baby.

babies are little and squidgy

I think it's adorable.

If your child did happen to get fat, that's a completely different issue and would be nothing to do with your mum anyway.

Policing what people say is a road to nowhere. It’s best to cultivate equanimity.
Being controlling is toxic to relationships.

you need to sort your relationship with your mum and weight out - it’s ruining (for you) what should be an uncomplicated and loving relationship between grandma and grandchild

You are projecting your own issues onto your baby. I call my babies all sorts including pumpkin, chonk, stinky etc it means nothing
Also with the kissing and cuddling, babies usually love all that but once they reach child or even toddler stage they may not want to so cross that bridge when they come to it tbh toddlers dont do much they dont want to do anyways

You are projecting your own issues onto your baby. I call my babies all sorts including pumpkin, chonk, stinky etc it means nothing
Also with the kissing and cuddling, babies usually love all that but once they reach child or even toddler stage they may not want to so cross that bridge when they come to it tbh toddlers dont do much they dont want to do anyways

Your history with your mum’s comments on weight are colouring how you view this.

I don't like Squidgy as a nickname or as a term of endearment but I would not have associated it with a large or fat baby in particular. I'd have thought he was "squidgy" because easy to pick up and squeeze - not that anyone necessarily should.

(The suggesting to call her "Granny Prune" etc. are counterintuitive; if stereotyping or calling names based on physical attributes is something you don't want your child exposed to, why escalate? )

I hear you OP,
having experience of working with people with eating disorders, childhood nicknames referring to size contribute to an unhealthy relationship with self / body image / food

I’m sure many people experience such nicknames as ‘affectionate’ cute whatever, I’m aware my perspective has a bias, but I would steer family away from body shape related comments and labels

You'd really start calling your Mother names to do with aging, but wouldn't have a proper conversation with her? Not exactly teaching your children anything positive are you?
Plus, she might not have anymore wrinkles than the OP, we had our children younger.
Just ask her to make up a nickname from his name.