To expect MoH to refund hen accommodation after we were refused access?

[Hennightmare]

I attended a hen party at the weekend - Friday to Sunday, staying close to a seaside resort in a private accommodation. I paid my share in advance - nearly £300.

Upon arrival, we were greeted by the owner who refused entry on the basis that hen parties (and same sex groups/stags) are not allowed and this is stated in the booking terms and conditions and elsewhere on the website. Despite reasoning, the owner was not backing down, and said there’d been an incident with a same sex group two weekends ago which required costly repairs.

MoH said she was aware of other hens who had stayed and this is how she found the place on instagram. She was told no refund would be given as there wouldn’t be time to let it again for the weekend.

We managed to find budget hotel rooms in the area but this scuppered the plans which were in place for the house - games etc.

I have looked myself and it is prominent on the website about the rules around hen parties etc. It is clear there has been inconsistent approaches in the past though.

Should the MoH cover us for her mistake? I am out of pocket after the hotel booking.

YABU - suck it up, it happened
YANBU - her mistake, she should offer to cover it

"Why after the email offering to cancel and the moh still not being honest would the owners trust them even with an extra deposit"

The MoH should have contacted the owner before booking (T&C stated "hens accepted at owner's discretion") and offer to pay a large damage deposit (so it's more likely the owner would agree). Waiting until owner's email is too late.

Where are you getting 150 from? Can you explain your maths?
The accommodation was 300n each
They paid 300 each
They didn't get it back then they had to pay more for a hotel
How is that 150?

Good idea op. Let us know how it goes.

The last change in terms and conditions aren’t what matter here. MoH’s dishonesty is the problem. The orginal terms stated clearly that hens were at the discretion/permission of the owner. At no point did MoH declare to the owner that it was a hen. When the terms changed because of the damage from the previous hen the owner emailed in good time for MoH to cancel and get a full refund. She didn’t, and she still didn’t declare the booking as a hen because she thought the owner would never know as it was keysafe entry. The owner clearly had her suspicions because she was there to greet them in person and at that point it became obvious that MoH hadn’t been honest. The owner isn’t at fault here, MoH has been underhand throughout the process, to the point where she lied about losing the booking email - I suspect there was something on that email that made it clear hens had to be pre approved and that was why it was ‘lost’.

MoH has replied to me and said she’s spoke with the bride to be and both agree she will cover the cost of the second accommodation for me only on the basis that I don’t share with anyone else what I was told yesterday (confirming MoH’s cock up). She has asked for my bank details. Bride to be is feeling very stressed with this going on so close to wedding.

I am torn, part of me thinks just accept it and be done but I know that’s not fair on the others.

Oh my, what a snake she is!

It's too late anyway, because another hen has contacted the owner who is almost bound to share the details of what happened in order to protect themselves.

I wouldn't respond yet @Hennightmare, wait to find out what the owner says to the other hen.

So you expect the MOH to pay £3k… that’s ridiculous & I doubt she just has that sort of money lying around either. Sounds like you’re all out of pocket including her, for what was clearly not a malicious or intended mistake.

I’d have a reread of the OP’s updates if you think this was unavoidable.

The bride to be isn’t out of pocket though, so what’s she stressed about ? MoH could end this now by refunding the money she lost through her arrogance and then there will be no bad feeling at the wedding. What they’ve offered you is a bribe to keep quiet. Sounds to me as though the bride and the MoH are cut from the same cloth. It’s dishonesty upon dishonesty.

What a cheeky reply from her

she cocked up

she should really pay the extra hotel costs for you all

you had beds to stay in. Just not the venue you originally wanted

MoH booked the venue and was told from the start that hens were at the discretion/permission of the owner. She didn’t declare it at the time of booking. The T&Cs changed after the owner’s property was damaged and hens were banned - MoH still didn’t declare it as a hen even though the owner offered her the chance to cancel with a full refund at that point. She thought she was safe because it was keysafe entry and didn’t bank on the owner meeting them at the door. She ‘lost’ the original booking email and misled every member of the hen. How is that not malicious or intended ?

I agree …
They’re both a right pair and definitely not friends of anyone.
I’d leave her hanging but wouldn’t accept the offer
You have integrity; caring about the others. They clearly don’t
Wonder what the others would all think if they knew they’d ask you to keep schtum?!
They’re digging themselves deeper and deeper.
She can afford to repay you and the others - she’s going on a £2k hen do right?
I’d be sacking this wedding and friendship off 😏 who wants to celebrate people like that !

I really hope you aren't going to accept that, the fucking cheek of her! I'd reverse it, go back to her and say she needs to pay the extra accommodation charges for everyone or you'll tell them what you know.

I can appreciate what she tried to do, it was a gamble at the end of the day, but after being told a flat 'no', she should have gone back to the group with it, if she made the decision single handedly she needs to be the one to take responsibility for everyone having to pay more.

I wouldn't be agreeing to keep quiet unless she paid for everyone's excess costs.

OP did you not say upthread that a member of the party has already contacted the owner to try to get a refund ? If that’s the case all of the details will likely come out and if you take this offer you will be in a very difficult position. Given the character of both MoH and the bride, I wouldn’t trust them not to throw you under the bus if they’re put on the spot. Not to mention it would be a shitty thing for you to do to the rest of the party.

You haven't read the OPs posts have you? It wasnt a "mistake" she knew what she was doing and took a chance..

And OP you need to tell the others now about this "offer" because I can guarantee they will lie and take you down with them.

When the other hen gets a response from the owner of the airbnb, that’ll all unravel.

I’m not sure why the MoH can’t just put her hands up. They’re making this situation worse without needing to.

Yeah I’m holding fire for now.

She stressed about the possibility of her friends falling out and causing issues on the day. The hen was made up of different friendship groups etc.

It is a horrible situation for the bride and not her fault.

The hen night is supposed to be organised on her behalf to reduce her stress, not heighten it.

Well it’s going to happen because this all remains unresolved.

the MOH clearly is a horrible person. She is the one that needs to be righting this to make it better for the bride. I hope the bride is reevaluating her friendship.

I wouldn’t be comfortable with that, it’s essentially blackmail. I will await what comes back from the owner for now.

I think you should respond and put it on record that you don’t accept their offer.

Whereas the MoH is trying to bribe you.

She certainly did. She was gambling with other people's money, people who would not have consented to her risking their money if they had been asked. All the MoH had to do was to post a message to the group explaining that the T&C had now changed and start a discussion asking what the group would like her to do about it. She chose not to do that.

I might have had some sympathy if she was unable to pay, but to offer a bribe in the hope that she can avoid paying the other people whose money she also lost is disgusting. The people that pair are conspiring to rip off are friends of the bride! What is OP supposed to do when the others try to talk to her about it, just lie on their behalf? I wouldn't trust the bride or the MoH again, so that would be the end of the friendship tbh, with or without the refund.