Aibu to overthink this after argument?

[aray1996]

Hey everyone. The other night me and my partner had a huge argument In my house. It escalated really badly. He was screaming at me and I was screaming at him. It’s a long story on why it happened and something silly aswell. I basically wanted to go to a karaoke night on Thursday but he said he had no money then I said I felt like it’s always me who makes plans and we never do much etc. and then he said it made him feel bad. But it escalated and I was drunk also and this was about 2.40am in the morning and I was drunk and I stupidly (please no judgement) said how about I kill myself to see if he even cares about me. (Really immature and stupid I know) he then stormed out of my house and drove home. We then never spoke until I got a text around 7.30am saying “I’m coming to get my bag” he then came round and collected his clothes but he was in the same clothes he was wearing when he left mine.. so I text him after and said how come ur still in the same clothes. And in the afternoon he text me back and said he never slept a wink and didn’t go to bed and lay on the sofa because he was worried about me. I then asked him was he away somewhere, am I being silly in this instance? We are ok now we made up etc and realised our wrong doings. Before anybody comes at me I know it was not nice what I said and I regret it highly.

What were his wrong doings?

You’ve got much bigger problems than why your partner was still in the same clothes.

But of course he was probably up worrying. You threatened to kill yourself. That’s controlling and abusive, which you obviously know. But the two of you need to do serious work on how you communicate because if you don’t this will not be the last of it.

I think you both need to lay off the booze

Very true

I was over thinking stupidly that he was that annoyed he went to a women’s house lol

I assume as Op's partner drove home he hadn't been drinking alcohol?

He never. It was just me

Why would you need to threaten to kill yourself to see if he cares about you?

for the sake of your future and all your future relationships please explore this in therapy.

“LOL” in this situation?

I ask, again, what were his wrongs that you say that he realised? You have stupid thoughts is not one of his wrongs.

We are ok now we made up etc and realised our wrong doings.

He was bein stubborn and wouldn’t make up with me and he shouted to when we where fighting etc

I wouldn't be quick to make up with some who first threatened suicide and then accused me of cheating. Do you really think that you have equal need to learn from what you did?

I hope your partner has a good support system in his life. If a man was treating a woman the way you treat your partner we’d all be telling her to end the relationship pronto. Getting drunk, screaming at him because he can’t afford a night out, baseless accusations of cheating - all domestic abuse.

Add being "too stubborn" to immediately make up.

I’d run as fast as my legs could carry me if I were him.

Threatening to kill yourself is abusive emotional blackmail. You don't sound mature or healthy enough to be in a relationship.
Get yourself sorted out, stop drinking and be single until you're in a better place.

You were drinking and wanting to go to a karaoke on a Thursday - he told you he had no money for that.

lay off the drink and make plans for something else.

You can’t threatened suicide to get someone to care about you, do you know how manipulative that is and absolutely awful for the other person?
it was the space of 5 hours between him leaving and coming back and you have jumped to conclusion he has been away with another woman.

Very respectfully OP you have some other issues going on and I would look to address those if you want to make this relationship work

I’d be lacing up my trainers and changing my phone number if I was him.

Be single and have therapy, OP. This is no way to conduct a relationship.

@aray1996 you need to give up alcohol completely. You clearly become a very toxic person when you drink.

Just brushing aside threats to kill yourself suggest this is not a healthy relationship for either of you. Are either if you actually happy?
You are over thinking his behaviour and under-thinking yours.

I feel for your neighbours, having to listen to that carry-on in the middle of the night.

I hope he gets himself as far away from you as possible. And I hope you get yourself together and lay off the booze.

He needs to dump you tbh.

Asking for no judgement for that level of emotional abuse is hilarious. I’m judging. He should have got his stuff and never seen you again.