Aibu to overthink this after argument?

[aray1996]

Hey everyone. The other night me and my partner had a huge argument In my house. It escalated really badly. He was screaming at me and I was screaming at him. It’s a long story on why it happened and something silly aswell. I basically wanted to go to a karaoke night on Thursday but he said he had no money then I said I felt like it’s always me who makes plans and we never do much etc. and then he said it made him feel bad. But it escalated and I was drunk also and this was about 2.40am in the morning and I was drunk and I stupidly (please no judgement) said how about I kill myself to see if he even cares about me. (Really immature and stupid I know) he then stormed out of my house and drove home. We then never spoke until I got a text around 7.30am saying “I’m coming to get my bag” he then came round and collected his clothes but he was in the same clothes he was wearing when he left mine.. so I text him after and said how come ur still in the same clothes. And in the afternoon he text me back and said he never slept a wink and didn’t go to bed and lay on the sofa because he was worried about me. I then asked him was he away somewhere, am I being silly in this instance? We are ok now we made up etc and realised our wrong doings. Before anybody comes at me I know it was not nice what I said and I regret it highly.

To need to grow up

Are you very very young or do you have some sort of SEN/learning disability? I need to know before I reply properly.

How old are you? Have you been able to achieve healthy relationships before? Are you abusive in other ways? Have you got past experiences of being cheated on that have made you insecure? Why were you drinking by yourself? Do you think your drinking is problematic?

I’m bein tested for autism. And I’m 32

I’m 32. And a lot of my relationships in the past are also like this

You need to lay off the booze.
You need to stop making threats to kill yourself to get a reaction
You both need to stop screaming at each other when you have an argument.
You need to stop accusing him of cheating with no proof!

You have so many issues already and now you want to add a further problem that he was unfaithful at another woman’s house? Wtf are you doing to yourself?

Alcohol is always going to make a toxic relationship worse. Have you ever done the freedom programme, or done any therapy or self-esteem work?

Ok, at least you're able to see the common denominator.

You sound toxic

End things...you are too insecure and manipulative to be in a relationship at the moment . Right now its obsessing that he was with someone else, later it will be something else that you fixate on

Learn to be happy on your own and develop positive coping strategies before getting into another relationship

Lol?

Grow up and look at your behaviour and thinking patterns seriously

Absolutely!, “he was being stubborn and wouldn’t make up with me” = he wouldn’t brush my abuse under the carpet.

Also: WE realised OUR wrongdoings? DARVO much?

He wasnt in the wrong.

He didnt have "wrong doings"

Its all on you.

He was screaming at me and I was screaming at him.
wanted to go to a karaoke night on Thursday but he said he had no money His response was valid. You didnt accept his valid response. YABU

I said I felt like it’s always me who makes plans and we never do much etc. and then
You then tried to use guilt to get your own way. Manipulation. YABU
he said it made him feel bad. because* *you were using guilt to manipulate
I was drunk also and this was about 2.40am in the morning
You have no consideration for anyone else,
how about I kill myself to see if he even cares about me.
Again with the manipulation, this time you were using Fear to make his do what you wanted.
so I text him after and said how come ur still in the same clothes.
I then asked him was he away somewhere,

Then accusations.

You need to work on yourself.

You are severely toxic.
FOG,
Fear,
Obligation and
Guilt.
If you are using someones Fear (how about i kill myself),
Obligations (after everything ive done for you) or
Guilt (you never do XYZ) - you are using manipulation as a weapon. Toxic.

Sorry but if your having arguments that leads to say about killing yourself,end the relationship your far to immature to be in one. Not to mention you have toxic behaviour.