To be confused at GCSE reactions?

[Emily3325]

I’ve seen a few videos online over the last couple of days of teenagers getting their GCSE results, and I’ve been genuinely surprised by some of them.

What has surprised me is seeing teenagers who appear to have failed every GCSE they took, opening their results while both they and their parents seem completely unconcerned about it, laughing, joking and, in some cases, blaming school for being boring.

Maybe I’m just from a different generation, but if I’d come home having failed all of my GCSEs, I can’t imagine my parents being completely unbothered, nor would I be if it were my own children. For reference, two of my three are through their GCSEs.

I’m not saying parents should shame their children or make them feel like their lives are over because of exam results, but surely there is a middle ground between making a child feel like a failure and treating the fact they’ve failed every qualification as if it doesn’t matter at all? Is this just where we're at as a country now?

AIBU?

It OBVIOUSLY depends on the parents. If parents have low expect of their kids, they're not going to be surprised when they don't do well. If they don't believe in education themselves, they're not going to care if their kids don't pass their exams. You value education, you would react differently. It's not complicated.

I think grade predictions are quite accurate now so its probably not a surprise and a bit of bravado too.

Imagine being forced to sit stuff you know you are set to fail.

Lots go on to do a vocational course at college and find they shine so it doesn't matter. They've long ago realised they arent destined for corporate law and are looking forward to thier new course.

Failed as in not got a 4 or failed as in got a U?

I used to teach teens with autism and learning difficulties and they’d be over the moon (as would their parents) if they got a grade 1 or grade 2 in anything.

Define ‘failed’

2 of my dc have no GCSEs, I knew they wouldn't, school just wasn't for them for various reasons.

One is thriving in his career, and the other is doing great at college.

Exams aren't the be all and end all, and if you have kids who dont do well at school what's the point in standing there being devastated and making your kid feel like a failure.

Any number of things could be going on with these online videos of complete strangers.
I wouldn't give it much thought.

I'd be upset if my children don't reach their potential but that level is going to be different for everyone.

I agree with you, OP, but sadly some people don't value education. And some teenagers absorb this attitude from their useless parents.

I saw one with a combination of U,1 and 2. My middle child barely scraped through and went on to do an apprenticeship he is currently completing and thriving in. I completely understand exams aren't for everyone but a few parents have made comments of "well you hardly went in for that lesson anyway" which made me think it was less ability related.

I'm an invigilator and have witnessed multiple children sleep through their exams. I'm not surprised so many have low grades.

I’m all for kids “doing their best” and if they haven’t got the ability to pass GCSE’s then ok, they can’t all be academic, but I think openly blaming schools is awful 😞
awful for the kids, the teachers, and moreover other kids who have done well and want to celebrate their achievements and be proud of themselves but If parents are joking about this then there is no hope - you should lead by example and even when they don’t pass there is always other options -
people don’t need to be so open about celebrating failure and in turn, mocking those who’ve worked hard and passed
I think it’s awful

It's possible that they're behaving very differently because they know they're playing up to the camera. Can't imagine anyone wanting to do it, but they're are a lot of people wanting their 5 mins.

Each to their own i say, live and let live.

Same here, I will tap the desk and point to their paper but they just ignore me. They’ve probably been up all night on their phones 🙄

Yes we try everything. It's the same ones every time.

a few parents have made comments of "well you hardly went in for that lesson anyway" which made me think it was less ability related.

Proving my point that it's not a surprise to them. You need to get off whatever the algorithm is feeding you and watch some videos where kids do better than expected.

What would be gained from making your kid feel shitter about failing their exams

Not this year but a couple of years ago. We knew it was unlikely DS would pass his GSCEs we were praying he scraped a 4 in maths and English but unfortunately was a couple of marks off in both. School wasn’t for him, he’s ADHD, ASD & Dyslexic. School had no time for him. He did year 10 and 11 at a college that suited him much better but was too little too late.
He opened his results, we knew he would be gutted so we did the oh well never mind, it is what it is. Made a joke of it and said at least he’s good a sport.
We probably looked liked we didn’t care. Which couldn’t have been further from the truth, we were genuinely worried about where he would go next both from an education and mental health perspective. Showing him any form of disappointment may have literally tipped him over the edge so we did the make a joke of it.
A few years later, he’s found his thing, works full time, owns a fairly new car, pays his bills, has a long term girlfriend and is genuinely happy with his life so it all worked out.
So it’s not that we don’t care or don’t value education (we paid for a tutor and he still didn’t pass!) it’s that our education system didn’t suit him.

My two children who have sat their GCSE's are completely different academically. DD has always found school and sixth form easy and sailed through her exams. DS has always found it difficult, preferring to learn through doing. DD is ready to start uni in a few weeks whilst DS is thriving in an apprenticeship. Both of their routes are equally valid and we're so proud of both of them but I can't sit here and say I wouldn't have been disappointed if they hadn't done their best when it came to exams, whatever their best looked like.

@Zingy123 & @MissyB1 or the learning in the classes for those subjects was just not accessible for those students in the first place.

But that’s the point, you don’t know that these children didn’t do their best?

My dd couldn't couldn't sleep due to the pressure and stress. She passed. But she struggled.

It was the comments of "you didn't even go in for that lesson" and "she was a crap teacher anyway" that made me doubt how much was actual ability and how much was attitude

can you explain what you mean by same ones every year as I’m confused by your comment?

This is what i hate to hear. Mental health should always be paramount to an exam.