Work drinks and I don’t want to go

[itsallaroundus]

I’ve been dragged into work drinks tonight, I don’t want to go but it was basically made compulsory as it’s for a manager’s birthday. I have a busy weekend, DD has a dance competition and DS has a football tournament so I’m literally all over the county.

What are my best bets to get out early?! I tried to say no but I got a “you’re being very obstructive and not a good team player”, I’m still fairly new so not willing to hugely rock the boat by not turning up!

“I am a good team player. I work extremely hard and well within a team. I’m also an excellent mother who has responsibilities to my children this weekend which include driving safely across the country”

Either that or just leave quietly without telling them when you’ve had enough!

“Not a good team player” 🚩 🚩 🚩

Go along, be enthusiastic and have a drink, maybe two, then have someone from home call you with a family emergency. Or develop a terrible headache/stomachache.

Just quietly slip out.

After making sure you’re seen, of course!

Just don't go and if anyone dares contact you to ask why, ignore them for a couple of hours and then say you had a family emergency.

it was basically made compulsory as it’s for a manager’s birthday.

No it wasn't.

Just tell them you have too much on and no time for socialising.

Go, say hello to everyone, make sure they see you, drift between groups chatting for 90mins then disappear without saying goodbye. It’ll be ages before anyone notices you’ve gone, and when they do they’ll have no idea when you left.

Honestly,start as you mean to go on with firm boundaries or it will only get worse.
You are not any better thought of by being a pushover.
Sounds like they will try to take advantage at work if you don't be firm.
I've worked for people like that.

you’re being very obstructive and not a good team player wow, this sounds like a really shit culture. Sorry, but that's not acceptable at all.

Need another new job!

Sod that!
Not a team player??
Your free time, do what you want with it.
For the record.. my son started a job with a very big bank last year and left before husband probation ended because of this type of environment- they constantly wanted more and more of his time,including weekends, so he left.

"It's been lovely but I have to get off now as I've a very early start tomorrow driving daughter to Landsend/John o' groats/Cardiff/Burnham Market for her dance competition. Bye".

Go for an hour, have lots of different chats, don’t drink, then sneak out and go home.

By the sounds of it, you were only told about it today. So you had not enough notice.

Anyone who objects to that, ask them what they would say if the person was Muslim (Friday prayers), or Jewish (observing the Friday night dinner).

Ive never known work drinks to be compulsory! Managers bday or not!! You must be very young? Ive learnt as im older to say no, no, NO!

Go for a couple, cmon, then makes your excuses and go,

You do not want to work in this environment long term, be thankful they have shown their true ethos early on and start looking for something else.

They aren’t being team players by not abiding by your working hours.

I was just about to say this !

Have a non alcoholic drink, get up to use the toilet and leave.

Wait till everyone’s had a few drinks, then slip out without saying goodbye. An Irish goodbye 👋🏼

I wouldn't go on principle if people were being like that about it, whether I wanted to or not.

However, if you really feel you have to, do the classic 'show your face'. Turn up, have one drink, make sure you wish manager a happy birthday and then leave quietly and inconspicuously - no goodbyes, no 'I must be going now' - just leave and go home. It's likely no one will even notice you go.

F

Sod that. I wouldn't go at all. Hope you had a great birthday email on Monday. Or face to face obviously if it's a small team/one office.
Edited to say that the obstructive comment is appalling.

I was a dab hand at getting out early from these insufferable work gigs.

Always, always leave your coat/jacket in an area away from the gathering and far away from the toilets (out of sight of toilet goers!). That way you can pop out ostensibly to the loo, swerve to the coat stash and leave without anyone seeing you. I have never been asked why I left, no one misses you believe me, but it's good to circulate a bit with a tinkly laugh for everyone first.

The relief of sitting in my car or heading for the train was always immense. I don't know one single solitary person who enjoys these bloody things, and if there is anyone who does, I'd love to know why. You are with these people all day five days a week already. Huh.