Work drinks and I don’t want to go

[itsallaroundus]

I’ve been dragged into work drinks tonight, I don’t want to go but it was basically made compulsory as it’s for a manager’s birthday. I have a busy weekend, DD has a dance competition and DS has a football tournament so I’m literally all over the county.

What are my best bets to get out early?! I tried to say no but I got a “you’re being very obstructive and not a good team player”, I’m still fairly new so not willing to hugely rock the boat by not turning up!

I cannot imagine working somewhere and forcing my colleagues to come out for drinks for my birthday. It's embarrassing for them.

Nope. Just don’t go , it’s not compulsory. I refused a team building away day last year , told my manager I wouldn’t go and I didn’t. Guess what happened- nothing.

I understand where everyone is coming from but I adore the actual work and would quite like to raise up through the ranks so need to put up with this

Have one drink circulate saying it’s such a shame you can’t stay, blimmin kids etc, can’t wait for next time, ostentatious good bye to the manager, then big sigh of relief when safely home?

This.

Stay for an hour or so to be sociable. Try to talk to lots of people.
Dip out when you need to leave.
Job done.

X

Why have you even bothered to post them if you are going to go anyway??

drink something like sparkling water dressed up as g&t and laugh a bit too loudly a few times. Then sneak off home

Absolute pro 👏

Yeah I never enjoyed these gatherings tbh. The dread when you get home & you know you have to go out again and waste your evening.

If it's a quick drink after work that's fine, they have a natural end point unless you're a party animal.

OP i hope lots of people are there so no one notices when you leave!

If you read the OP, she wants tips on leaving early, not ways of avoiding going.

When younger I would willingly go to all events because I enjoyed being with my colleagues and had the time and energy. Now, in a different job anyway, I limit the social occasions. Never though has anyone told me I am expected to go, unless it was something like a celebration evening where I needed to represent my department at events such as open evening, celebration awards in teaching. Certainly not for a birthday event. Xx

@itsallaroundus good teams give notice and don't coerce people. Don't be bullied.

French exit is your friend here.

I think your manager has to get some pals rather than coercing colleagues to join in after work drinks they don’t want to go to nor should they have to.

Always good to rock up, have a few chit chats with more senior people and slope out as needed … you can build a career off the back of connections sometimes, so try a bit of socialisation, even only 30-45 mins

Have a Diet Coke, float around being seen then ‘I have to pick my child up from childcare, cubs, their grans, their father is looking after his elderly relative who is dying. I have no choice and wish I could stay, have the best night!’

Another of my tactics was to always remain standing. Never ever sit down even if someone offers you a pew beside or near them. Folks, it is immeasurably easier to leave a group while standing than it is while sitting down.

And of course give no reason for moving on and out. Just go with a "back in a minute Jan" and head towards the toilets. But of course you swerve left or right towards the secret stash of your coat, and exit through the car park. If you have to go out the main door, hang by behind the coat stand ha ha, and wait for a few people (strangers of course) to exit the door and follow them very swiftly or jump in ahead of them.

Now have you all got the French Exit off pat! Don't ever be stuck with insufferable work gatherings again. I actually enjoyed the challenge of working out the logistics of a venue and checking where to leave my coat for the great escape. It never failed. And no one cared either.

Just say no. It’s Friday night FFS!

I wouldn’t go!

im too old TGAF now what people think of my actions. No work do is compulsory. Fuck that!

I hate work dos outside my working hours so I always say I already have plans that I can't cancel. Or, if I believe I really need to make an appearance I will just stay for 1-1½ hours then excuse myself. I have no qualms about it, either. Work dos are so boring, and beside work I usually don't have much in common with my colleagues. Which isn't a problem, I can small talk with anybody, but I don't necessarily want to spend my time like that. So I don't.

You should’ve invented a child commitment tonight

There's zero gin etc. Pointless imo I'd rather just have tonic .