To not go on this outing?

[Spooll]

BF thinks I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face.

I belong to a running club. The are two in our town, and supposedly we have a friendly rivalry, but some members take it a bit far and it doesn't always feel friendly.

BF is a newer runner than me and has belonged to club 1 for four years and also to club 2 for three years. Several members do belong to both.

I have been a member of club 2 for 20 years and during that time there have been periods of downright nastiness both between individuals and between the clubs.

Generally, membership of the club is a positive thing in my life, but as a long term, high profile member, previously committee member there have been rough patches. Four people now at club 1 positively hate me. I kind of know why but I don't understand why their feelings are as strong otmling lasting as they are, but as they left I don't need to let that affect me anymore.

In addition, another former member of our club, now at club 1 delights in any opportunity to point out what he sees as shortcomings at out club. He stirs up trouble over matters that really don't affect him and will take every opportunity to have a dig.

Day to day none of this has any impact on me because I have nothing to do with them.

Club 1 is organising a coach trip to an event. The event is something I would enjoy, but I have no desire to be stuck on a coach with 4 people who hate me, one who will take every opportunity to have a dig at the club I love and several who will find that funny.

BF wants to go and would like me to go too. I've said he should go and enjoy it but there's no way on earth I'm going. AIBU?

Yabu. How can running cause so much drama?

If you don’t want to go then don’t go. I don’t get the aibu? It’s not a compulsory event and you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do

you aren't duty bound to go anywhere you aren't warmly welcomed. Your boyfriend can crack on. I wouldn't want to be around negative tension

How utterly pathetic for a load of grown adults

I wouldn’t run with them and I certainly wouldn’t socialise with them!

You'd be amazed 😆 TBF I think all clubs can be like that.

Is it really that deep 😭

just go and stay away from them

Depends on the event. Organised coach trips to places are always a pain in the ass, can you not just drive yourself and dip in and out of the bits you like with your friend? Or go a different time with them?
P.S. - I get the running club drama. Insane amounts of it at ours 😅

I think its a bit daft that things have escalated to the point of hatred over rival running clubs tbh. And in that spirit I'd probably go to rise above the silliness of it all. However if you think they're going to be actively rude and unpleasant to you then don't.

How do you stay away from people on a coach? How do you stay away from people on a group outing without looking like you have a problem with them?

I know they'll be unpleasant. The dig man will definitely enjoy making me feel uncomfortable. He'll see it as banter, but it won't feel like that to me, and maybe that's becuase I'm over sensitive or maybe it's because banter rarely is good natured.

I fell out with the others over a personal thing, nothing to do with running.

@Spoolldont sit next to them, just keep your distance.
everyone doesn’t have to talk to everyone.
just be civil if they do

Plus what's to stop those people from approaching you, or making snide remarks, OPer?

This sounds dentical to the two running clubs in my town - the shocked replies are making me laugh.

Send DH alone.

I'd be reflecting on why 4 people hate me tbh. Whilst I'm sure I'm not everyone's best buddy, I'm quite sure no-one has ever 'hated' me. That's quite an extreme/unusual reaction in adults.

Yes, I've done a lot of that, thanks. It caused enormous heartache at the time but it's a long time ago now.

I suspect she didn't stay in line during the finishing funnel at parkrun...

YANBU at all OP. This is exactly why I run alone, play tennis (only one other person at the other end of the net, and I don't go to club nights!) and swim (solo). Can't be doing with the drama!

🤣 Sadly it was long before parkrun was even a thing in our area. The grudge has been held a very long time, and was always always a misunderstanding. They thought I said something (reported by a third party), that I didn't say or even think, but I have never been able to persuade them of that and gave up trying a long long time ago.

Can believe this.
Probably only pissed off one person though but the other three need a lift to running club so need to keep on side.

I’m at the age now where I won’t waste my time being in the company of people who make me uncomfortable or upset me so I just wouldn’t go

Or can’t you just drive there?

I’d go and kill them with kindness.

I could but the point is the group outing, or I/we could go any time.

That doesn’t work if people already hate you. They will be suspicious or think you are being a creep.

Why do 4 people hate you? You must have done something wrong for that to be the case. Or is their hate for you imagined?