to think you can't understand climate science and want kids

[sensiblefootwear]

Hoping that people will (gently, with good evidence) tell me I'm BU.

I love children and have always wanted them. But for the past few years and especially this year I'm finding the science on climate change and the tangible effects of it (houses on fire in nearby towns, schools so hot people's children have been sent home after fainting, looming food and water shortages, etc etc) increasingly difficult to ignore and I can't help but thinking it's an incredibly unwise decision to choose to bring another life into this world.

To be clear, I'm not talking about choosing not to have children because I think it will somehow have any impact on the climate, because of course it won't. I'm talking about choosing not to have them to spare them the horror of what's to come in the next few decades.

Am I being unreasonable to feel this way? I'd really love to hear from people who genuinely understand climate science and know where things are heading, but are still staying firm in their decision to have children in the future.

Having children is always at heart a selfish choice. Understanding climate science isn't going to kill the urge to reproduce. For the vast majority of people the urge to reproduce is strong enough that it will overpower other considerations.

But if it doesn't sit right with you, then don't have kids. That's a perfectly valid decision and I wouldn't wish to talk you out if it. It sounds like the right choice for you.

Gently, go outside get some fresh air and be with nature. The news is horrendous, make environmentally conscious decisions and enjoy life.

Yes the children might face a harder life than we have. But, we’ll also need educated people who care about these issues in the next generation to help mitigate the effects

I work on climate issues and it's the main reason I haven't had kids despite being in a very solid relationship and generally liking the idea of a family. It sucks.

Agree with this. Children bring such joy. Why would you rule out having them over something you cannot control?

I feel guilty in some ways for having had my DC - I think the future they face is going to be hard - at the moment I’m not sure they really have taken that onboard - nothing I can do about it now though other than true and prepare them to be as resilient and self sufficient as possible

This has been on my mind a lot lately. I have 1 child and I love her so much. I feel selfish for having brought her into this world and scared for what the future holds

Many climate scientists do have kids - they may like rest of socitey have fewer than previous generation but many have them.

I don't know if that optimism about making changes or societies adapting of if they live in west believing we in good place to manage.

Tends to be economic fatcors that hugely affect birth rates - though there are many other factors - and people who understand climate science may also be reacting to other aspects of becoming parents like cost economic uncertainty - careers housing prices.

I don't think it bad to consider full impact of having kids on lifetsyle and what kind of life you can offer them if you really do want them- but ultimately it's a leap of faith you can't see what the future holds.

You can absolutely understand climate change and want or choose to have children.
Some English posters have lived very sheltered lives if they think climate change is the only bad thing to happen.
Personally I grew up in a war zone, people were shot dead in the street, poverty was rife, bombs, death, injury all commonplace. Things are much better for me now than they were decades ago, and in decades time things will be no worse.

You're not being unreasonable. I know how bad climate change is, but I've always wanted children and- it pains me to say it- a short life well-lived is a life worth living... Surely if climate scientists really, genuinely felt that people shouldn't have children, they would also advocate for suicide or mass culling of the already: existent population. That and abortion (but not necessarily as a choice)...

Book is called "Eleutheria" by Allegra Hyde https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/58502668-eleutheria if anyone wants to read it

Thanks for all your replies. I completely agree that children bring a lot of joy. I've chosen to spend my career working with children and spend as much time as I can with my friends' and siblings' children. It's the physically choosing to create a new person that wouldn't have existed otherwise that I find it hard to justify to myself.

Completely sympathise with you, OP, after I had my son I got really terrified by climate anxiety. I'm now actually pregnant with our second.

I volunteer with a climate action organisation in person and take manageable actions like writing to my MP/councillors, take part in things like the Great River Blitz. I've organised swap events in my local community, grow my own veg, have given seeds to students and have lobbied for some initiatives to reduce waste at my workplace. I reduce, reuse, recycle as much as I can - quite happy to avoid flying, buy as much as I can secondhand, take reusable containers out with me, bring soft plastic to the supermarket etc. We have an EV, saving for a heat pump and solar panels, save water and rarely put the heating on, don't have air con.

My son is the absolute light of our lives and brings so much joy to us, I can't even put it into words. I could never regret him. It is scary but I have to be optimistic that there is more pressure than ever on the UK government to take action to mitigate the climate emergency. Renewables have never been cheaper and the heatwaves and wildfires of the summer are showing even people who didn't care about it that the situation is urgent.

I also think we could have lived miserably for the next 2-3 decades wishing we'd chosen to have children instead and I much prefer this version of reality. I'm also incredibly grateful we were able to conceive and have a healthy child when so many people aren't granted that. Not even touching on war zones, poverty or the global south who will be hit hardest and soonest by effects of the climate emergency.

Also - adoption and fostering are always options

Oh wow @SuperGinger I hope I don't come across like your ex friend... Worthy maybe but lazy and joyless hopefully not! For context work full time with children...certainly not easy but as I said there's a lot of joy in that 😁

Zeke Hausfather who is one of the most respected climate scientists in the world has two small children.
Doug McNeall is a leading UK climate scientist and he has young children.

Well people have babies during war so

I think throughout history you can make the same argument many many times. The Black Death, war, nuclear threat. There’s always a reason not to have children, but humanity doesn’t really work like that. On an individual level you make your own decision. But on a population level, people will keep having kids and those kids will have kids and they will adapt to a changing world as we have always done. I have two children who bring me so much joy and they have a lovely life.

I don’t know what the future brings for any of us, but in there here and now we are so happy and loved.

I too love children, but I could never eat a whole one.

As to your points, well actually chosing not to have children is the biggest single thing you can do to impact climate change as rapid population growth is the ultimate driver. China had the right idea with the one child policy. Just need to rest of the world in particular India and Africa to follow suit.

As to bringing children into a world of horrors,
no, the world might be different with different challenges but everyone, for the most part, will be just fine. Interesting times.

If you live in the uk it is not predicted to be one of the worst effected countries.
it is more temperate and can take an increase to temp without damaging quality of life
unfortunately (for the world populace but not your desire to have children) the worst hit contraries are predicated to be some of the poorest in the world and also have the lower ability to adapt to any changes

After I had children i realised quite how much suffering i'd set them up for and I wasnt even thinking about climate change.

It sounds like you have gone down a rabbit hole and need to come back. Go outside, be with nature and switch off. Digesting too much negative news is no good for thinking rationally. The only reason the UK closed schools is because lack of aircon which other countries have and it hasnt even been that hot.

I am a professional in earth sciences. In geological history we’ve had some significant extinction events linked with massive climate change events but they tend to happen over the course of thousands to tens of thousands of years (and to animals much less advanced than modern humans). Some may have been faster but the rock record resolution is too low.

We will adapt, we have been very successful in terraforming and controlling our immediate environment.

We live in a dynamic planet which has constantly been changing through its entire 4.5billion year history.

Human lifespan is short relative to most climatic cycles. The current episode of climate change won’t end our species nor end our planet. There is large uncertainty in the modelling of the current climate change ultimate magnitude, impact, timescales.

We should all live responsibly, more sustainably and reduce our consumption. I have 3 kids and don’t worry about their future to the extent of ever considering I wouldn’t have them. We live what I consider to be more sustainably compared with most people I know.

I thought about starting a thread like this recently but wasn't sure what question I wanted to ask. Just... it's something I think about.

My ex-DP didn't want (and hasn't had) children for this reason. He doesn't understand how so many of his friends, including me, chose to have children in the circumstances. I'm not sure how I square the circle either.