To ask how I can time my abortion?

[girlypop8]

I am having a medical abortion this week - the pills are coming tomorrow and I want to take them ASAP as the earlier I do it the less painful it will be. I am a SAHM however and have no idea how to manage 2 kids and the pain. My plan is to take the first pill(s) on Weds as soon as possible and take the rest on Thursday 24 hrs later as DH has that day off but I am worried that the pain may continue into Friday and I won’t be able to cope with the kids alone. If you have had an MA at 6-7 weeks how long did your pain last and were you able to do normal activities the next day? Is there a way for DH to get Friday off with such late notice? I would have planned better but only rang BPAS last week and DH days off are spaced apart.

Any advice? Please no lectures or questions about why I have done this or that, I just need advice.

I had MA at 6w, everyone is different but my experience was ok. It was more like a heavy period with a few cramps but it didn’t stop me doing normal day to day stuff. But as I said, everyone is different. I hope it goes well for you

It was just a typical period for me for 98% of the time and then a bit more for about 90 minutes and then normal.

I’d get your DH to phone in sick on the Friday if you feel rotten or take them Friday and then have the weekend to recover - u can’t think 2 days will make much difference.

My concern would be that not all women experience pain/bleeding right away. For a small but sizeable minority it can be delayed. So it might not actually start until Friday. To be safe I would get dh to have Friday off. If you were one of my women thats what I would advise.

Your DH should ring in sick to look after the children. He's as responsible as you are for the pregnancy, you shouldn't be carrying all the burden of it.

I had a MA a few weeks ago. Did the second lot of tablets early in the morning. I spent the day in bed with DP looking after our daughter. By tea time I was back downstairs as normal and the following day took her to a children’s festival

May be different but I had to take the pills during a missed miscarriage in hospital years ago. I was 11 weeks at the time but foetus died at 8 weeks. I haemorrhaged and had to have emergency surgery. I don’t know how rare that risk is, or if it was worse because I was a bit further along but there you go. I wouldn’t have wanted to go through that alone with my DC around.

I had one at 6 weeks. Funnily enough I also took the first pills on a Wednesday, second pills on Thursday afternoon. The worst of the pain was on the Thursday evening/night, by the time I woke up on Friday morning most of the pain was over and was just bleeding like a heavy period. I went to work as normal.

Everyone is different and reacts to pain differently. Your dh should definitely take Friday off, no matter what. You will likely need emotional support too.

DH works weekends.

Ah ok 👌
In that case, just go ahead and if you feel awful then he will have to call in sick; I hope it’s not too painful and upsetting for you.

My DD had one at 6 weeks, the first tablet caused her a lot of pain, she had to have a surgical procedure in the end which was ok. She had nurofen and codeine tablets - the nurofen did nothing, the codeine worked well.

He will have to call in sick if you don’t feel well enough. He was responsible as well for you falling pregnant.

Regardless of which days he works, he should take leave or call in sick to support you.

Could he tell his boss you are sick and have parental / carers leave to look after the kids ? Are they very small ?

Take them as planned and if needs be your husband will have to take a sick day.

I hope it goes smoothly for you, all the best.

I also think your DH should call in sick.

But if this is literally impossible or he'd lose wages that you can't afford - how old are the kids and do they have special needs? I'd be planning activities they could do while I rested. At home cinema with snacks. New/borrowed Lego sets. Board games. Art challenges. Screen time. Get in food that requires minimal preparation or order take away pizza. If they aren't bathed for one day, no one will die. Your not trying to parent at your best, you need a plan that lets you parent at a safe minimum.

Had one at 7 weeks. Had it on the Wednesday afternoon. By the evening I had strong cramps but they passed by bedtime. Thursday I was at work, travelled to London, doing normal business. It isn’t too bad at all, your husband will need to call in sick if you need him. Take care of yourself!

This may or may not be a helpful suggestion depending on location and dates your DH is off work, but I had a surgical abortion at 7 weeks. Local anaesthetic only, and without sounding flippant I’ve had more painful smear tests. And you know when it will happen, and then it’s done and there was (for me) just some very light bleeding for a few days.

I found that a far less stressful thought when deciding, but appreciate for others it might seem much worse.

I had one at 5 weeks. There was 0 pain. I thought there was something wrong due to the lack of pain. On day 4 I had some mild cramping for 30 minutes but it was less painful than a standard period. I bled for 9 days but it was like day 2 to 3 of my period. I actually spent 2 days camping on days 3 and 4.

I had one at 8 weeks, I stayed in bed for a day or two as it took it out of me but I don’t remember it being particularly painful. Just like a heavy period. I got prescribed Cocodamol and maybe that’s why x

update: Have taken the mifepristone, kids are going to grandparents from thurs to fri and DH is going to sit with me after I take misoprostol tomorrow. Really not looking forward to this as I had one three years ago and it was awful - no codeine either like last time. Going to take 800mg ibuprofen and some paracetamol and hope for the best.

Take care of yourself honey - hope all goes smoothly

Hi OP Boots do a codeine/ paracetamol tablet ~ its only 8mg codeine but it helped my DD.

Going to be honest I had a miscarriage at roughly eight weeks. It was incredibly heavy. I would get the biggest pads you can get. Some may say it is like a period but I didn't find that. Not to scare you but maybe just be prepared.