Have I just discovered the secret to enjoying a dinner out!

[Thingcanonlygetbetter]

Just back from a fabulous family dinner out. No stress, fab food and good service. Restaurant we went to for the first time seems very popular and we could only get a table at 8pm. Which we would deem to be a bit late. We would normally be a 7pm
booking.
We have just chatted about why was this soo good and think we have hit the jackpot! No kids on bloody iPads with the volume turned up, that just kills the atmosphere and grinds me and my families gears. We went out last Sunday night at 6pm to a different restaurant, good food and good service. BUT not one, not two but three kids on the table next to us were all watching /using iPads with the volume up and it was torture and really spoiled the experience. So in future if I go out I am going to go late when the little people and their IPADS have gone to bed. They all need to put a set of headphones on their Santa list!!

I really couldn’t get worked up about this.
There’s always going to be someone doing something that annoys someone else, maybe the woman with the loud annoying laugh or the man with the really annoying cough, if you don’t want to hear other people while you eat then you don’t go to a public place for dinner.

What kills it for me is seats far too close together. So you can hear the conversation of the couple next to you, and they yours.

Usually all in a row too.

Awful.

I think it is a shame for a child to have an iPad if eating out.
There was a time before they were invented. And so it wasn’t an option.
You went, you chose what you wanted and you ate. Nicely. Everyone talked to each other. Children spoke to each other.

Doesn’t matter if you think your kids device volume is low. We can all hear that tinny noise from the bloody thing. It’s infuriating. Turn it off and give your child headphones - ND or not. You don’t have the right to spoil other people’s outings.

I hate this OP. I have an autistic 6 year old and he also hates this. We just came back from holiday and he either had no volume on his tablet or headphones when waiting at the airport or being on the plane. He was very upset when other kids were playing devices at full volume and then started saying “why is it so loud?”, and becomes upset. I feel it’s unnecessary when you can get cheap headphones for around £10. But it is getting more and more common and sadly people are selfish.

You wouldn’t stand up to your daughter, or ask staff? Are you usually such a pushover?

Just to add that we have had to leave restaurants because of other kids’ annoyingly loud devices. Staff are reluctant to do anything and it makes the meal unbearable. And while I sympathise for those with ND children, I myself have one and the sound of devices really affects him, so I would argue that it’s not fair that one person’s (ND) child is prioritised over another. It is just selfish and entitled.

It is a village. They can be odd places. Her daughter would not have welcomed her mum causing a fuss in the local. She has to work there. And doesn’t want her mum to be the topic of conversation.

I mean caviar is 🤢 so fair comment that she wouldn't eat that! 🤣

No, her regular diet doesn't include almond mousse (does anyone's?) but she would be quite happy to eat it in a restaurant. I dont really understand why that is soooo special and child exclusive? Or why you think children who have a varied diet wouldn't eat it.

She's never had screens at a table. It would have never even occured to us.

I have to admit it was the first time I had caviar, and it was only a little bit on something else. I obviously aren't going to post the whole menu but it really isn't kid friendly. No way would I pay 70 pounds a head for my kid to waste most of it. Come to think of it, I've never seen anyone younger than older teen in there. They would most definitely not accept screen noise though. I don't think they even have highchairs (not their demographic).

Good on you for not using screens to fob off your children. In honesty, as long as they aren't asking for my attention, I tend not to find other people's children a problem, even if they are restless or noisy. I can ignore them. They aren't mine to deal with.

One of the reasons we dont eat out much now is becsuse restaurants are just so expensive. Plus yeah, misbehaving children.

I remember when my Dad would take me to church every week. There were kids my age who were allowed to take books/toys to keep them entertained during the (craaaazy) long services but I was never allowed to. They weren't noisy toys but you could hear them hitting the cars on the pews or forgetting where they were and reading aloud. Not misbehaving as such but still disruptive. In hindsight it was parents just wanting to worship in peace which I guess I understand. The church by us tried to implement an electronics off policy but it didnt go down well.

The reasons i've read on previous threads about this subject are that the kid has sensory issues and can't wear head phones......or they claim the binary choice of that or screaming....

Maybe we should all start voting with our feet in restaurants. Make it clear to the staff that the incessant noise from others' devices is unbearable and we're off.

The ipad has been given as the easy option to soothe them since birth. The child has learned to scream if not given the ipad.

Wonder if this'll be the norm in 20 years, or less? As in, it was abnormal to stare at your phone all the time and not make small talk in the noughties.

I absolutely will continue to take my disabled child to restaurants and not hide him away at home with a takeaway.

I hope you don’t voice your unpleasant opinions when you meet disabled adults or children in public places as to whether they are or are not welcome.

I never let my 2 take tablets when we go out for a meal...but then i dont let them use them in the house when we are having dinner. Bet they think im Mrs trunchbull 🤣.

As a parent of a child with ASD i take my child to things that HE would enjoy.

If a restaurant meal isn't fun for a child and they need a screen to enjoy the experience then don't go. Do something they will enjoy instead.

Doing something child focused is NOT being unpleasant.

My parents didn't bother taking us to church. It was easier for my mother to not have to deal with managing us there. My mother came from a very good and huge family, even by Catholic standards. Even for them, other than the newborn baby going to get baptised within hours of being born, they didn't take their younger children to church. When I went to church I just sat at the back with the kids. I never found them a problem to manage. I don't go now, so I've never seen electronics in church, but it seems completely inappropriate, of all places.

We were never taken to restaurants till I was at least 9. My parents went to eat out, leaving us with a babysitter, maybe twice a year. I'm not sure if it was because we didn't have much money or it was more a cultural norm for eating out to be more a special occasion thing. Now it seems to be more recreational and regular for people.

Hopefully the electronics thing turns a corner one day, for the sake of kids. No scientific basis for the statement but I suspect it will mean children's vocabularies increase and literacy standards improve.

If restaurants are so intolerable to your child that they need a device to manage it, why take them? It seems unfair to put them through it. Why not do something that benefits the whole family? Is it really a nice family outing, or just making you feel like you've taken the kids out, when it didn't serve anything for them at all? They'd probably prefer a picnic in the park. Even if they're on their devices some of the time then, at least they're also going to have fun outdoors too.

Then watch with the sound off and subtitles on. Or stay home and eat in front of the TV.

Mine are not allowed to watch whilst eating but I do let them at other parts of the meal. They take colouring and things too but sometimes the food takes a long time to come and if on holiday they might be tired after a long day. It might be lazy but we need to make choices as to where to direct energy and sometimes that’s what I choose.
never with sound on though

He does enjoy it and indicates he would like to go.

Also we are gradually getting him used to many things he doesn’t always find perfectly enjoyable, as they are skills for life. So one day he can do this with no distraction at all.

I won’t hide him from the general public because he likes a hey duggee while waiting for dinner or because of other people’s ignorance.

Just to add, there’s no noise or disturbance to anyone else so it’s absolutely none of their business

I simply don’t agree. His lack of patience waiting for food isn’t a sign it’s unbearable for him.

It’s fine we have a different approach, but I want to set him up to be able to join in as much of life as possible and that’s a long gradual road. I won’t just exclude him.

He doesn’t like having his hair cut either, it stills happens and we support how that gets easier every time.

While restaurants aren’t essential, lots of social parts of life involve this and we want him to feel part of those events.

It creates no distress for my son. It causes no disturbance to anyone else either, so it’s absolutely none of their business either.

ASD is a huge spectrum. One and another situation is not the same.

We can simply agree to disagree!

I hate that some people feel they need to hide their child away.

However, it isnt fair that other people who are also trying to have a nice meal (or catch a train or walk down the street...) are subjected to Hey Duggie (or whatever).

General kid noise, fine.

Why does one person's need override the majority?

Genuine question - if electronics weren't a thing, what would you have done?

If you can honestly say that your child's electronics don't disturb other people, great!