Have I just discovered the secret to enjoying a dinner out!

[Thingcanonlygetbetter]

Just back from a fabulous family dinner out. No stress, fab food and good service. Restaurant we went to for the first time seems very popular and we could only get a table at 8pm. Which we would deem to be a bit late. We would normally be a 7pm
booking.
We have just chatted about why was this soo good and think we have hit the jackpot! No kids on bloody iPads with the volume turned up, that just kills the atmosphere and grinds me and my families gears. We went out last Sunday night at 6pm to a different restaurant, good food and good service. BUT not one, not two but three kids on the table next to us were all watching /using iPads with the volume up and it was torture and really spoiled the experience. So in future if I go out I am going to go late when the little people and their IPADS have gone to bed. They all need to put a set of headphones on their Santa list!!

As a mother of multiple ND kids, yes, I'd think you were being lazy. Do what you have to do but with the sound off. Having a ND kid doesn't give you a free pass to inflict it on other diners. If the other option is them screaming their lungs out, they aren't ready for a restaurant.

Talk to our kids, play paper games (like that one where you make a line between dots and make squares, or noughts and crosses, hangman), colouring in and drawing. Or accepting that they weren't ready for restaurant dining so either going to an appropriate eating place with a play area, getting a babysitter, or eating at home.

But @AllIneedAreMyFamilyandDogscant you see that no matter what the reason it just isn’t ok to have the volume up on a device? Other people really just don’t want to hear it. I am sorry that is hard for your dc but surely it means you just have to work out another way to keep them content or just don’t go out? It just isn’t ok?

That's exactly what @AllIneedAreMyFamilyandDogs is saying.

This is exactly what I said.

If the only options for your child are watching a device without headphones or screaming their lungs out, might it be that restaurant dining isn't a great choice for them?

This is why I never eat out with my 3 young DC. I refuse to give them an iPad or let them use my phone, and keeping them quiet and engaged for the whole meal while not disturbing other diners is a very stressful job. Why would I put myself through that? And pay good money for it!

I’m just waiting until they get older. My oldest was about 5 before he could use a quiet voice in a restaurant and not disturb other diners. I’ve taken him out alone a few times and it’s really enjoyable now. That was the age that my parents started me and my sister out to dinner, before that it was a monthly McDonald’s meal.

We managed a pizzeria on holidays twice this summer, but it involved going to a shop beforehand and buying colouring books, pencils, a little toy for the youngest. We sat outside, as far away from everyone as we could manage, and we were in and out of there in 40 mins!

I’m sorry but as the mum of a now 35 year old man who is severely autistic amongst other things, as well as being the grandma of 5 out of 8 ND (ADHD and Dyslexia) children never have I had to have the volume their iPads or the likes raised in public for anyone else to hear. It’s inconsiderate and absolutely not the same as hearing conversation going around you from other tables. Headphones are your friend here and if your child can’t tolerate headphones then you’ll have to use other means of helping them when overwhelmed. Practice using them at home before trying to use them when out and about so they are used to them.

You have absolutely no idea what other people have going on in their lives.

I do agree, I also think that tablets seem like an easy option, but they are probably bot helping with your child's needs at all in reality. They are hugely damaging, at some point proper research will be published and people will start to accept the negative impact they have.

Totally agree and it’s really poor parenting giving really young children screens in restaurants but on the flip side I think some people have lost touch with how young children should behave. They are going to be loud, up out of their seat etc. In Nando’s yesterday with my 3 year old all she was doing was scribbling on the menu provided, but every time she spoke, got up or dropped a crayon the girl sitting next to us in her 20s I’d say gave her side eye and huffed and puffed, it’s Nando’s at lunch time not a Michelin star restaurant.

We went to a restaurant at 8pm Saturday. There were two toddlers on the next table. One watched stuff on a phone all night. No problem. The other was as good as gold until 11pm when one of the adults decided to sing baby shark at the top of her voice all the way through with actions to amuse him. Actually the kids were no bother, it was the adult!

Why don’t you use headphones or the sound off?
What are other more considerate calming techniques
you could try?

We went to a restaurant this past weekend that has a set menu for £70 a head. It's amazing food but kids probably would baulk at most of it. No kids menu. Not a kid in the place. No-one is going to pay that for food kids will probably freak out over. That's another way to enjoy a meal out.

I said volume was low. And no I am not lazy and never have been. thanks

My child can't use headphones due to severe sensitives and age. Thanks though.

Sorry, are you saying only rich people are good parents? Not in my experience. The ‘gentle parents’ are all in the affluent bracket who refuse to discipline their kids and think other kids getting wackex repeatedly by their feral youth is acceptable collateral damage for their slow, gentle parenting style.

I’ve seen far more firm but fair parenting from poorer families than affluent ones.

Our son has a neurological condition. The only way he can sit that long is by watching something. He cannot easily verbally converse at the best of times but we are working saying something he enjoyed about his day at dinner time to join in with the family chat.

He doesn’t have it on high volume or has headphones but he does stim that witch doctor song verbally and fairly loudly at some pace at the moment.

I don’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks about it. We won’t be housebound due to other people’s lack of understanding.

@Thingcanonlygetbetter I do think it would be nice if restaurants banned phones and tablets at the table.

If a child cannot sit for an hour and make polite conversation then a restaurant is not for them. Go and do something that you child would prefer or get take away.

We eat out regularly, and dS2 is autistic. They absolutely do not have a tablet at the meal. We tend to choose restaurants that have nibbles that they bring to the table immediately.

I was in France a few weeks ago and didn't see any kids on tablets in restaurants. Its just rude!!

We are a no screens family, especially at dinner! I don’t understand what society we are all interested or intending to live in if we just don’t teach them the basics. Unless there’s a very real reason for electrical devices, why not take a puzzle, a colouring book, small wooden toys. And at some age there should be an expectation to actually join in with the conversation. Then we won’t have people calling it ‘an adult space’ like it’s some sort of sex den when really it’s ’a restaurant’. I’m just rolling my eyes here!

I'm one who will say something. I make sure that when I do, I've taken the time to let the frustration out first so that I speak calmly with a pleasant tone of voice and a smile on my face. I never go straight asking them to quiet down.

It makes no difference how I say things, these parents always respond aggressively to defend themselves. Never sorry to disturb. They then either ignore the request or if they do, it comes with comments to the kids about how it's all the fault of the nasty lady and they encourage the tantrums and even worse behaviours.

Sadly, some parents are just lazy and entitled adults who have no clue how to raise their kids properly. Sadly, these parents have no qualms taking their kids out late too.

The only option is to be very selective about the place.

Ear buds? Or very low volume? I'm not saying don't bring kids out. But do they have to have a device, can't they talk to the adults

I usually assume that if I can hear someone’s / someone’s children’s device, that person is dodgy as fuck & thinks it’s ok to thump anyone who objects.

Same category as people who drop litter / cycle on the pavement / play loud music in their gardens & best avoided.

I was recently in a very nice restaurant with 3 mid to late primary schoolchildren all on iPads with sound up. We did ask them to turn them down and the mother was relatively compliant but proceeded to say what awful children she had and needed iPads to cope. Nope they were just spoilt and bad mannered

another time a friend asked a woman FaceTiming to do it outside as it was disturbing people and she refused!

I hear you OP. I do often challenge but you do need to be careful.

one of the reasons why I booked an adults only hotel for an upcoming holiday. Tho that said there will always be some bloody adult watching tik tok with volume up.

I despair I really do.