Husband of 12years got me crisps for my birthday present

[SamSam786R]

My husband of 12 years thought it was acceptable to take our son to Asda and buy me 75p reduced price flowers and crisps and biscuits… he’s spent over £100 on trainers for himself this week so he’s not poor and he’s generous to his mum and brothers family’s, I’m just not worth more than a tenner apparently/ i actually feel sick just thinking about it. The whole gesture feels very ‘I don’t value you as a person’
im so tired of his shit, this is why I work like a dog full time, take abuse from my employer, stretch myself beyond limits to care for my kids and home because if I was a sahm I’d probably be on food rations so I must work and fend for myself, surely I’d be better off single if he can’t even fulfill basic needs of a wife???

Definitely better off single. You’ll feel so free.

You very much should be single.

Sorry, Op. And happy birthday 💐
It's time to go.

I get the feeling this is going to be a catalyst for change.
Get your ducks in a row. Time to evaluate your relationship &’make some decisions or at the very least, plans!
Id be upset too. It’s total batshit what he’s dished out.

At least you have crisps.

My dh ruined my 40th birthday..
He was an exh before i was 41...

That’s not even a gesture, it’s a farce.
Have you said ‘oh what hilarious banter you have, now where’s the proper gift?’
He can’t really think this is acceptable, surely? And teaching your son that this is what you get? Wow.

Tell him, ‘If I thought you’d be so lazy and thoughtless that you’d buy me crisps for my birthday I’d never have married you. It says everything about our relationship. Good luck finding someone else to put up with this shit.’

OP I am so so sorry .. it’s so painful .. is he normally this inconsiderate.
if it’s a one off I could forgive but if it’s an ongoing pattern then he needs to be pulled up. ?what’s the rest of your relationship like?

What do you mean if you didn't work you would be on rations?

Never mind the shit present, he sounds financially abusive.

Christ. That is bleak OP.

I don't normally advocate for this, but as it sounds as if the respect is all gone from this relationship, I would shame him publically, the git.

Next time you two see your inlaws / parents / friends or whoever and they ask how your birthday was, I'd tell them, "Well, Brian swept me off my feet with a 6 pack of walkers, a packet of hobnobs and a bunch of flowers from the reduced rail, it's like living with Prince Charming".

He is very inconsiderate as a person and I am sick of him tbh, this was the cherry in the top, I feel so embarrassed and ashamed that I picked such a man to be my partner and I don’t know what to do

It is not really about the crisps or the money, it is about feeling valued and appreciated. If this is part of a bigger pattern, that’s what needs addressing.

It’s the kind of thing where you take a very young child to the store and let them pick out something. That isn’t the main just though, just a token to have them participate.

Say something. There is no excuse for this if he has money, and resentment festers.

Bin the lot, let him see them binned, remember to remove the evidence before DC wakes up in the morning.
You would definitely be better off on your own. The way a person treats you when the chips are down, says a lot about the value they place on you.
He doesn’t value or respect you.

Happy birthday 🎂 next year will be better if you lose the selfish lump.

I would crunch all those crisps up and put them at his side of the bed when hes sleeping, hopefully he will get a jaggy arse! 🤭

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The main shame would be if you stay in this relationship.
How old are the children. He is financially abusiv and very disrespectful.
Start with contacting women’s aid, ask for advice, access support, counselling, next stop solicitors office.
You deserve to feel loved, safe and secure.

Oh OP, is it possible that he has something else planned like tickets to an event to take you as a surprise?

Is it shit birthday husband day? There’s another lovely sounding op who spent her 50th doing washing and was given a desk fan. Wish you could find each other and go
on a cracking and indulgent well deserved weekend away

OP.. I am so so sorry.. you are worth so much more.
Make plans to leave… you won’t regret it ever.
Freedom is everything.

That’s awful op.

I got nothing for my birthday this year as my DP was ill, not a good enough excuse I know and I’m still very upset. But I think your gifts might be worse than no gifts.

Enjoy the crisps whilst making plans for your future.

You deserve better. He's a cunt.

More insulting than simply saying, “I forgot. How would you like to celebrate?” Because it shows he doesn’t value you enough to even fake caring about you.