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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husband of 12years got me crisps for my birthday present

33 replies

SamSam786R · 09/08/2026 22:50

My husband of 12 years thought it was acceptable to take our son to Asda and buy me 75p reduced price flowers and crisps and biscuits… he’s spent over £100 on trainers for himself this week so he’s not poor and he’s generous to his mum and brothers family’s, I’m just not worth more than a tenner apparently/ i actually feel sick just thinking about it. The whole gesture feels very ‘I don’t value you as a person’
im so tired of his shit, this is why I work like a dog full time, take abuse from my employer, stretch myself beyond limits to care for my kids and home because if I was a sahm I’d probably be on food rations so I must work and fend for myself, surely I’d be better off single if he can’t even fulfill basic needs of a wife???

OP posts:
Bonkers1966 · 10/08/2026 03:15

So sorry this happened. It sounds as if you have some hard thinking to do.

Delilah26 · 10/08/2026 03:24

My ex husband got me crisps for my birthday.

Fixed your title for you.

Redlollyyellowlollies · 10/08/2026 03:26

PashaMinaMio · 09/08/2026 22:54

I get the feeling this is going to be a catalyst for change.
Get your ducks in a row. Time to evaluate your relationship &’make some decisions or at the very least, plans!
Id be upset too. It’s total batshit what he’s dished out.

This is good advice.
See a solicitor and get advice as to what your entitlements are.
The hardest part is deciding to end the marriage, once you've done that you can move forward.

WhatTheHellsGoingOn · 10/08/2026 03:50

The only reason he’s generous to those you mentioned is bc of how it makes him look. Doting son, generous brother, BIL, uncle, also well off, so can afford it. With you he doesn’t care how you see him, as you’ve acknowledged. I wonder if he’d be happy for you to tell these other ppl exactly what he got you - I’m guessing not. Obv get him exactly the emae thing for his birthday.

I’m guessing Mother’s Day, anniversaries and christamsses are similar. What a dick.

Francestein · 10/08/2026 03:59

God I hope you crumbled them up and put them all through his bed. (By his bed, I mean the fucking sofa.)

MustardGlass · 10/08/2026 04:22

The only reason a man would do something that shit is so you start a fight and break up and he can tell everyone you are the awful person. Honestly just get your ducks in a row and in a good position that if you do decide to leave you are not as vulnerable as you would have been with no warning.

MustardGlass · 10/08/2026 04:23

I would make sure everyone knows this is what he got you, do not cover up what a shit husband he is.

Notquitethetruth · 10/08/2026 05:59

When you say he is generous to his mother and brother's family, in what way? If he is spending family money on them while you are struggling, then he is selfish and disrespectful. To spend £100 on a pair of trainers for himself while buying you cheap, thoughtless rubbish is insulting
How does he treat your son?

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