Hypermobility and a toddler: how are other hypermobile mums managing?

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I'm 38, I have a 2 year old DS and was diagnosed with hypermobility about a year ago after suffering from pain and fatigue for years, as well as random injuries and fainting episodes, especially post partum. I'm doing all the right things now - physio, exercise, vitamin D supplements, sleep hygiene, but still really, really struggling. I am not the same woman I was 5 years ago. Apparently menopause will make it worse?! I'm a solicitor and work long hours too.

I'm mentally in a very low point right now.

DS is also teething at the moment so his sleep has recently gone to shit again and I feel like I might die from exhaustion as he's waking 1-3 times a night. Looking back, I actually have no idea how I survived the newborn days.

If you also have hypermobility/EDS and small children, how are you managing? Any tips? Posting in AIBU for traffic.

Fellow mum working in law and surviving hyper mobility.

stronger training and yoga have massive reduced my injury frequency, I just ruthlessly prioritise it over everything (except parenting and billable hours 😁)

I have actively chosen to leave the house messy and laundry undone to exercise. This has meant better quality sleep, albeit sometimes interrupted.

it’s a slog but they get older and that helps.

@nelly yes, I've been doing that since about February. It's been a learning curve though as i used to be very fit (a dancer in my youth!) so I am always tempted to go too hard and then I really suffer. Until recently, I had not understood the connection. So still trying to find my pace.

I suffered with debilitating pelvic girdle pain in pregnancy (I was in crutches from 32 weeks) and for 18 months after pregnancy which unfortunately made me very sedentary, I couldn't handle more than a 10 minute walk for ages. So I'm building from scratch now.

We go swimming a lot, because then I can pick him up and wave him around without him weighing so much. Otherwise we spend lots of time outside. At work, I try to move multiple times per hour and do my physio exercises at the coffee machine. Dancing is protective. I used to do a lot but stopped in my 20s, then started getting injured having moved to other sports. Physio and pilates in my 30s helped a lot

Hypermobile mum also working in law here (just the services side though!) and I've got no advice at all sadly, sounds like you're doing everything you can. I'm learning something new though, the fainting episodes are related and it'll get WORSE with menopause? FML.

I’m also hyper mobile and was signed off work due to pelvic girdle pain the last 10 weeks of pregnancy - so I can relate to starting from a fitness /strength level of zero.

what has helped me is Pilates. Also pacing, aka just doing less , which is boring for me sometimes but keeps me lower pain /pain free. I only work 3 days week though, I would really struggle to work FT. (Sorry if that’s not helpful).

my son is now 4, and it has just been a gradual but non stop improvement since he was born. It is SO much better now he’s sleeping in his own bed, and doesn’t need carrying as much, and so on and so forth. So if nothing else, it will get naturally better.

PS broken sleep makes everything harder, including pain.

Oh sorry - if menopause makes it worse, push for HRT!! Oestrogen patches plus Mirena for me, and I’m only in perimenopause

The thing that transformed my fatigue and pain was daily yoga. It was recommended by physio and OT for myself and my hypermobile children and I mainly started it so I could help them do it but, oh boy, it’s a brilliant relief. Swimming is also very good. Get as much sleep as you can, which I know can seem impossible with wee ones but if you have family and friends I’m sure they’d help if you explain the situation. Fatigue is utterly draining, and the feeling of complete weakness is scary when you’re Mum so do anything you can to help. Batch cook, get a cleaner etc, anything. Good luck, feel free to message me if you ever want an understanding ear.

I was also recently diagnosed with hypermobile joints after suffering aches and pains and fatigue for a couple of years, and I have a 4 year old. I'm lucky in that DS sleeps through and isn't an early riser, but I still feel tired most of the time - I wake up feeling no more rested than when I went to bed. It's also depressing feeling that my body is ageing too quickly, and not being able to do things like go for a run anymore. I'm already developing arthritis in some joints and only early 40s. No real suggestions, although I understand avoiding anything too high impact and focusing on exercises that strengthen the affected joints can help.

2 small things that have helped me-

Thick bouncy sliders. I was having really achy sore feet after being on them all day, I've replaced my sheepskin slippers with recovery sliders and it's improved about 80%.
I was getting very achy lower back after dinner. I've 3 under 6 and we sit at the table for an hour at dinner. Resistance band around thighs and footstool make the dining chair such a nicer experience and reduce the pain afterwards.

I don't have children but do have hypermobility and I can relate to your random injuries comment! So far thid yrar I have had 3 procedures on my shoulder, a back procedure because I have a prolapsed disc and I can just look at a heavy box and injure my knees 🤣. Its hard I can be achey in random places and sometimes I'm like why me!? I've always been told the best thing is strength training. I'm 37 and feel like an old lady a lot. I have an office job and sometimes get to bogged down in work. The best thing to do is to be active as much as you can!

I'm just in pain and exhausted all the time, recently also diagnosed with labile hypertension so I have high blood pressure spiked, sometimes very high, but it also dips low so it's hard to medicate. I was told I needed to get enough sleep, eat well and reduce stress levels. Also cut out salt and caffeine which are easy but everything else? With an autistic 8 yr old who can be combative and a 5 yr old who still shouts uppies. I'm waiting for ankle surgery which may not work but the ankle has gotten too bad. I'm 43.

My mum had hypermobility, scoliosis, a heart valve defect (myself and my sisters also have) and she died at 56. She was diagnosed with fibromyalgia which was just a nonsense as she had so many reasons for her pain while fibromyalgia is a diagnosis of exclusion. Anyway she was eventually properly diagnosed while hospitalised. Then she died of cardiomyopathy.

Dunno the answer, hypermobility can either be just pain or a warning if something more serious than pain so make sure any symptoms are checked.

Tens machine is great for pain, as is exercising to build muscle to support the lax joints, but that does mean exercising through severe pains Nd injury risk. Everything is just harder with no credit given to how hard it is.

Oh also see a good podiatrist, orthotics have been life changing for reducing falls and feet, ankle and leg pain

Jesus Christ. I think I have this! I’m hyper mobile but didn’t know about the tiredness and other symptoms that marry up perfectly with how shit I’ve felt for years - this is a bit of a thunderclap…

@LavenderSweetPea POTS is connected to hypermobility. Also, even if you don't have POTS, hypermobility is a connectice tissue disorder so your blood vessels are not doing the job properly. So lots of people like myself have low pressure, high heart rate, and if I'm extremely tired and stressed at the same time, I will faint. Actually fainting has only happened a handful of times only but I do feel faint a lot.

Hypermobility is apparently very affected by hormones which is why pregnancy makes it worse and then apparently menopause again.

@Maria1982 @GrannyTeapot thank you, I do need to go swimming more, you've made me actively look into it now. The sleep is a huge issue. My son slept through the night consistently between 18 months - 22 months and I felt so much better. I also had more energy for pilates etc. Still fatigued, I never woke up fully rested but I was ok.

Now he's teething, it's back to being awful and it affects me so much. I feel bad as when I complain to other mums that he wakes up 1-2 times a night, they tell me I'm soooo lucky. But if I don't get a good stretch of sleep a few days in a row, I feel utterly broken. The worst is when he wakes at midnight/1am as it interrupts DEEP sleep.

I'm dreading winter and all the bugs he's going to catch as I know it throws off his sleep as well.

This is so interesting that you mentioned POTS. I went to the GP a couple of weeks ago because I've always been a dizzy/sickly person for as long as I can remember and they tested my pulse on standing and sitting and possibly mentioned POTS. It nakes sense if its hypermobility related!

@TheStepboardisfullofbitteroddos yes to the resistance bands, i just started doing this too and it helps so much. Not necessarily with pain, but just that awkward uncomfortable feeling I can't quite describe when I don't have support. I'm always looking for an edge to lean my legs against etc.

Same here! I was recently told I was the maximum possible hyper mobile by a physio and have spent a lifetime shattered - are the two things connected??

I've muddled through with chiropractic and other things, like massage therapy and myotherapy and osteopathy. It's expensive, but it helps. Chiropractic may not be suitable for you though, so you'd have to check that out. I find avoiding high impact exercise helps. No running for me. Watching posture, swimming and walking are all good.

I am very much perimenopausal and haven't found it worse. If anything, it might be a bit better. I've also learned to accept that my body will go through good and bad patches. Naps can help.

@Velumental interesting about the podiatrist, I always have such painful feet, will look into it.

@Longtimelurker1980 constantly feeling fatigued is very much a hypermobility thing. Your muscles have to work extra hard to support your joints. Hypermobile people also don't sleep very well, even if they sleep 7-8 hours they spend less time in deep sleep.

This is honestly mind blowing. I have been told I was lazy my whole life because I just need more sleep. I’m feeling a bit angry now.

I have EDS and yes have always suffered with tiredness. I’m not a good sleeper either though also have ASD and ADHD (which are common with hyper mobility). How did you not know you were hyper mobile though, or was it just you didn’t know there was a name for it? It always fascinated my friends that I could bend my joints in odd ways and my legs, arms and fingers in particular have always really obviously bent the wrong way.

I am not hypermobile (my DM is) but my DD1 is very hypermobile. She has been seeing the paeds physio since she was 3.5y (now 5y) and we have advice on how to protect her joints as she grows. If you havent already been doing so, for everyone on this thread, id say please keep a close eye on the DC, as it can have a genetic element and far better to catch earlier than later. Potty training can also take much longer as it can interfere with recognising the signals to need to go to the loo.