Is the dog invited?

[DoggyAuntie]

My husband's brother and his wife are coming to stay with us this weekend, on their way back home from their holiday further north. All good. They live in a big house with a garden whereas we live in a smaller house with a back yard but we can cope for a couple of days.

This afternoon, I looked at my sister-in-law's Instagram. She has posted photos of herself and her husband on holiday - with her dog!

I have not invited the dog. The dog had not been mentioned. I do not want the dog in my house.

My husband has said it's just one of those things. I feel they are being insufferably rude to expect me to welcome the dog into my home without even asking.

Am I being unreasonable?

Yes. Love of food and attention. 🙄

99% eh?

Please reference your research ……

🙄

Starve your partner and show them no affection and see how long they love you

100% of my friends and family would 100% object to me brining my dog. Barbaric.

You don’t sound like the type to suck it up in peace to be honest.

Why don’t you try softening your approach and instead of being so very affronted by their misunderstanding of your kind invitation, and as you have already decided that you really want them to come -even with the dog, why not try to get to know the dog a little bit and make it welcome with a smile and a pat on the head. The dog really does have feelings …..more than a houseplant at least.
You might even surprise yourself OP.

I wouldn't even think about telling someone a dog can't come, it wouldn't occur to me because I'd never turn up at someone's house with my dog unless the dog has been explicitly invited. I wouldn't even take my dog if I was just popping in for a drink, never mind overnight stays.

OP I've just read all your posts and wanted to say I love you. I think you are my spirit animal. cough

Rather than huffing and getting so upset about the rudeness, is there a chance that it was an oversight/miscommunication instead?
Perhaps they thought you knew they would have the dog, maybe a miscommunication with something said to your husband?

It seems if you don't otherwise know them to be selfish or thoughtless people, you could grant them a bit of grace that they didn't mean to be rude or upset you.

Because having a dog in your house for 2 days is probably less of an imposition than having a toddler in your house

It absolutely isn't. I love toddlers. You can't compare toddlers with dogs.
It's only dog people who do that.

Our dogs are absolutely our family and I couldn't give a crap what anyone else says or what the dictionary definition is. But it's rude and entitled to expect your dog to stay at anyone else's house.

If you knew they were on holiday in the UK then you should have fully expected them to have the dog with them

I wouldn't. I'd fully expect them not to have a dog with them. Nobody I know takes their dog on holiday so that would be my assumption.

I’m a huge dog lover and currently own two - including a giant breed and I would never take them to someone else’s house! I can’t remember ever taking them to anyone’s house besides the dog sitter - I’ve never even asked a fellow dog owner.

You need new friends and get adopted by more loving family

If we're being pedantic your husband's SIL isn't your SIL. She's your BIL's wife. I don't work for the council.

Dogs are definitely family members. They are intelligent companions who love you, unlike either of the examples you have provided.

Would you be kicking up such a fuss if they were bringing their child to your house? From my experience, children cause far more damage and chaos than (well behaved) dogs.

This is why I love dogs and I don’t like children hence I don’t have any

Everyone I know with dogs, if they are holidaying in the UK, will take their dogs with them.

Are you ok? You’re comparing an inanimate object to a sentient being. Yes, they should have asked, but you don’t sound very nice, so I’d go straight home and give you a swerve.

Haven't read the full thread:

You can consider physical barriers (like closed doors) to keep the dog off the sofas. It's reasonable to keep a dog in the kitchen / other spaces without carpet. It's reasonable to have rules if the sofa is in the kitchen that the dog stays on the floor or only sits on an easily washable towel or similar if allowed on the sofa. Kitchen cupboards can be wiped down easily afterwards.

If it's a breed that sheds hair you could ask them to brush the dog outside before they come in (but ? heat - a shady corner of your yard might be needed)

You can minimise how much of the house the dog is allowed to wander about - have someone carry them to the bedroom if they're small and going to sleep at the foot of the bed. Offer towels.

The weather is such that it will probably make sense for the dog to be taken out very late and very early for a walk when it's coolest.

Your other option is perhaps welcoming them when they arrive and then going to a hotel whilst they're at your house and leaving your husband to entertain his brother and tidy up afterwards. Saying this because it is a different option to just putting up with an unwanted guest dog. Or you could let the visit happen and arrange for a cleaner to visit in a few days - you don't have to live with furniture smelling of dog.

The poster was joking about the typo ‘brining’. Brining a dog would be barbaric.

I don’t!

I can easily compare them, I’d much rather the dog.

Well I don't fit into either of your "2 types of dog owner".

Me and DH had had dogs for over 40 years. They have all been trained but quite a few have been taken on holiday, both here and abroad. Most were not taken to shops/cafes/pubs etc because they were not allowed although in a lot of Europe they were!

Now that dogs are allowed in so many places we take our current dog to garden centres, shops, cafes, pubs and even restaurants. He is much happier being out with us than being at home alone.

I don't hate people who don't love my dog although I do find dog haters on the whole pretty sad people. I also have never ever pushed a dog around in a pram.

As to being sad well I don't think I am but you may well not that I care. On the whole I find a lot more parents sad than dog owners and most definitely think you should love their child and find them adorable (they so often are not).

There are some pretty cruel posts on this thread. You don't understand the affection some people have towards their family pets, sure, you can post that. But to post about how you "wonder if they are okay" or whether they "have a "mental illness" etc. Nasty.

@DoggyAuntie you are quite right to be pee’d off by this - same thing (nearly) happened to me but I was able to circumvent unwanted dog visit before they set out. Visitors were quite taken aback to find out that I was not overjoyed about the prospect of them bringing their pooch to stay for the weekend (they know I have a cat, so why the surprise?). Loving your replies to your critics btw!