Is the dog invited?

[DoggyAuntie]

My husband's brother and his wife are coming to stay with us this weekend, on their way back home from their holiday further north. All good. They live in a big house with a garden whereas we live in a smaller house with a back yard but we can cope for a couple of days.

This afternoon, I looked at my sister-in-law's Instagram. She has posted photos of herself and her husband on holiday - with her dog!

I have not invited the dog. The dog had not been mentioned. I do not want the dog in my house.

My husband has said it's just one of those things. I feel they are being insufferably rude to expect me to welcome the dog into my home without even asking.

Am I being unreasonable?

@PinkEasterbunny It's weird how dogs are viewed differently to other pets, isn't it. I'd never assume that someone would bring their cat/rabbit/guinea pig/cockatoo with them when they go to someone's house (or take them on holiday for that matter) - but dogs are viewed differently. We've always left ours with a pet sitter though, he loves having his own holiday.

Yeah I get this, it feels to me as extreme and inexplicable as saying you don’t like babies. Or cake. Or Ryan Reynolds. You know there are people out there with such beliefs, but you probably wouldn’t invite them for dinner.

I love my dog, but,…erm, no.

Yep, read it, thanks.

Oh dear. This is why the world is in such a mess. I don’t like dogs and I have two children who are everything to me but I would aim to build friendships with my “doggy” friends based on shared respect and shared values. Our shared humanity surpasses our differences.

Absolutely insane you’re not wrong op. I do often wonder if people like this are okay, or are they suffering from some kind of mental illness? It’s not normal or healthy to think of an animal in this way.

sensing you aren’t a doggy lover…

or a lover of humour.

a humourless doggy hater - now that’s definitely not someone who is going to go on my Christmas card list.

But people who do like dogs are trustworthy? Do you know the people in history who have owned dogs? It isn’t indicative of some kind of moral superiority. I don’t trust people who like dogs too much - in my experience they tend to be misanthropes incapable of forming proper human relationships.

Why do people post on AIBU? which implies that you are inviting different opinions and then dismiss all different opinions very tersely.
There are other forums on here you know.

Do you have children? If so do they know that your dog is more important? You are absolutely bonkers!

I tend to agree @BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw and I do love my dog! But he's a dog, not the centre of the universe and certainly not comparable to a human relationship. Dogs are particularly loveable because they can't answer back or disagree with us - although mine tells me off sometimes when I'm not doing what he wants treats or walk-wise. 😂

Tbf if i was invited somewhere for the weekend, there is no way i would assume that meant that i could take my dog, cat, or anything else i fancied without first discussing it with the person who had invited me; that’s just fucking rude.

I get what you mean. I've sometimes thought that about my dog that she needs me more than my kids!!

My dog comes everywhere with me. He has a limited lifespan so I want to spend as much time with him as I can. My friends and family know if they invite me over then he’s coming as well. He’s fun and well behaved. Very friendly. If anyone doesn’t want my dog in their home then don’t invite me. Simple

They’re not going to book a holiday their dog can go on, pay the extra pet fee, take the dog and then just happily put it any random kennel that’s so bad it has availability at short notice in the summer holidays. That doesn’t mean op has to accept their dog but it does mean they won’t get to see them.

Sounds to me like your DH doesn’t mind if the dog comes with his brother.

Assuming you don’t have the power of veto, if the dog comes too, it’s something you will have to suck up for the time being.

I’d rather have the company of a dog than most humans. All a dog wants is food and love. Try finding a human who loves but wants so little

Does you mother in law and the England Women’s Rugby Team normally live with them, go on holiday with them and you’ve met them at their house before? If so, then yes, you probably should have.

You have a simplistic outlook on life if you think that this is why the world is in such a mess

@Skates Exactly, dogs aren't comparable to complex humans, they seldom challenge us and are very forgiving. We completely control them and that's why we love them so much, it's easy to love a creature who does exactly what you want (most of time, not when Ddog wakes up wanting a wee a 3 a.m. :-)

Or Brings you the contents of their toybox at 3 am because they want to play when you have to get up at 4:30 for work

yesterday in a supermarket I saw a man with his large spaniel dog sat inside the shopping trolley, yes he was pushing it around the supermarket as if the dog were a baby and the supermarket trolley was it's pram

Well, if that's how little OP's ILs think of OP and her DH - that their dog takes priority over them, basically - then I don't think not getting to see them will be such a terrible thing anyway!

My dog takes priority in situations like this. It’s not like they are going out to a fancy restaurant. It’s a home visit. Nothing special

I don’t have a dog as I am allergic and it wouldn’t even occur to me that someone wood bring their dog if staying at my house.