Do you send your kids' iPads on playdates?!

[Purpleturtle45]

This is doing my head in recently. Whenever my daughter (9) has a friend to play they bring their iPad (or equivalent). I have playdates to get them off a screen and wouldn't dream or sending her on a playdate with her tablet. I have 2 older kids and this was never a thing!

No I don't I tell them don't be on your phones or iPads because yous can play on then when your in your own house. If they have been active such as playing in the park and garden for a while I might let them have an hour on iPads before they go home.

Absolutely not. I’m suprised that your DD’s friend even owns an iPad at 9 years old.

I know 9 year olds that do it. It's utterly depressing. Will never do it myself

If you're surprised at that then you don't have children or you're incredibly sheltered.

I have a 9YO DD and thankfully have never come across this. One friend likes to bring a kindle to sleepovers as reading helps her fall asleep but that’s the closest I’ve seen. I’m not totally against ipads for watching movies when travelling, tt rockstars etc. but isn’t the whole point of a PLAYdate to play and interact with your friends not sit behind a solo screen?

I have 3 DC. A 9 year old owning an iPad is ridiculous.

Mine (8&4) have iPads for their lexia and maths apps, and flights only. Absolutely no way would I send them around to their friends’ houses with them. The parents that allow this are idiots.

Nope, they are there for a play date not to be on their tablets. Might as well of stayed home if they came with ipads. If they were older kids early teens maybe then hew maybe because then they can be in the same room whilst playing their online games. But at a young age I feel they dont really need them on a play date

I don’t know a single child of that that doesn’t have any access to an ipad even if it’s restricted to homework and movies when travelling! Do you have primary aged kids?

Just tell them to put it away until home time. Your house, your rules.

To borrow the MN phrase

What fresh hell is this?

So happy my DC aren’t this age any more. Some parents seem ignorant and lacking in imagination.

I am referring to owning one, not having access to a family device.

Oh my word, no! My 13 and 15 year olds with bring their phones but they will still mostly play without screens.

No, I would never dream of sending my DD's with an iPad (8 and 10). They didn't even take when they went to stay with my parents for a week.

DD's friend came to stay with a phone as gets a bit anxious. I spoke with the mum and said we had a no devices in bedrooms rule and would it be OK if I asked her to leave on the hall table so could access it whenever wanted to, but to try to stop them being on it.

I have also had younger ones round who have had an iPad in their bag as a tracking device, or an airtag as a tracker. Which blows my mind - either you trust me to look after your child or you don't. And if you don't, don't send them in the first place

No. Never. If my child (and theirs) wanted to play on a switch together I would ask the parent first and it was often a no, and often a yes, but they can have some switch time together after they’ve played together first.

mario Kart etc is not the same as an iPad though.

Not really - none of my children have had one before age 12.

I had one child who didn’t even say hello to me when he walked in just “what’s your WiFi password?!!!” I said nope we don’t give that out to anyone so you will have to put the iPad down! His mum couldn’t believe I wouldn’t let her little darling sit on my sofa ignoring my son who he’d come to play with and instead played on his iPad!!!

I worded that really badly.

To previous posters, yes I think we probably all know that lots of children age 9 own their own iPad. Those of us who have not given our children a tablet also can’t quite get outlet heads around it though.

My DC have never had a tablet. Now secondary age they have school devices that are completely locked down for school work only.

One has a Nintendo switch. They have a TV. Thats enough.

Dear god no, I would honestly have a word with the parent and ask them not to, or take it away at the door and hand it back to them. It’s bad enough at 11/12 when they start bringing phones with them and you have to manage that. I had a phones downstairs after I go to bed policy for sleepovers at 11/12 and I had one poor girl just about have a panic attack and go home (she is always messaging my dd at 3am so from very young had a phone and had it all night).

But my house, my rules. It would be on me if it got broken or any inappropriate photos were taken or any content accessed that shouldn’t be. I’m not willing to take responsibility for any of that. But also at 9, they should be outside playing in mud. My youngest and his friends are 8/9/10 and when they came for a play date last week, they played football and then splashed around in the river at the bottom of our garden. They don’t need to be on YouTube. Fwiw, neither of my dc have ever had a tablet of their own. Teen has a phone. Somewhere we had an old iPad that only came out for trains or planes, but never something they had regular access to.

Not when 9 years old, no. But 11-12 when entering secondary my dc had phones that went with them to playdates. I have a rule though that in my house they need to do something else before gaming; play in the garden/pool or play board games or whatever before they start gaming. Otherwise there is no reason to have a friend over.

My oldest is 14 and his friends hand their phones in at the door (or leave them on our kitchen table) even in the day. If they want it to film something (bike stunts in the garden etc) they come and ask me for their phone and that’s fine. The phones never go upstairs.

If anyone looked REMOTELY upset or worried I’d check to see if they were ok. They can use their phone in the kitchen anyway. None of them have ever had a problem with it.

Wouldn't give them any until they're way past playdates (ok, maybe some people use this term for teenagers, but I would only use it for under 10s).

YANBU- mine are a little younger than yours, but I am in complete agreement with you. Like you, I see playdates as a good, in person, social distraction from screens, so I agree that this is a shame. Sending solidarity.

I have 3 kids, none of them own an iPad. the 11 year old has just had my old phone for Secondary school. the 6 year olds have been told they can get one when they're 11. plenty of kids down own iPads

That’s bad parenting imo