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Do you send your kids' iPads on playdates?!

107 replies

Purpleturtle45 · 31/07/2026 18:34

This is doing my head in recently. Whenever my daughter (9) has a friend to play they bring their iPad (or equivalent). I have playdates to get them off a screen and wouldn't dream or sending her on a playdate with her tablet. I have 2 older kids and this was never a thing!

OP posts:
JustMarriedBecca · 01/08/2026 07:44

Ohhhthedrama · 31/07/2026 20:42

It's not shit parenting, it's letting the kids have some downtime with Friends. My kids have friends over all the time, especially right now on summer break. I'd say we have kids here playing at least 4 times a week. So they have lots of time to play different things and sometimes it ts tablets. Maybe playdates are less frequent in your house so more of an occasion. Here it's just a chance to hangout with friends not a formal invite for a day of structured educational activities.

I agree with this. It's not shit parenting.

Kids can communicate and negotiate and learn skills through gaming together in the same way they can through other non screen device play. Just because they bring an iPad round, doesn't mean they are playing solo.

Personally I don't LIKE it and the rule is bikes / trampoline / board game / cricket / football first, but building a den and then watching a film in it? No problems. Using Lego to build a world and then using it to make a scratch animation or stop motion movie? Absolutely no problems. Crack on.

Screens are not the enemy. Encourage sensible use. That's all.

BusyDog · 01/08/2026 07:44

I’ve got 4 children and so far have encountered this once. I told the child I won’t be connecting it to our WI-FI. In our house we have to ask for screen time and we don’t have it on play dates. So I’ll need to put it away and give it to your mum at pick up time. Child cried and said what are they supposed to do!! I got out one of these character easy mix cupcake boxes so they did that and happily played games, child didn’t mention after.

She did ask why I took away iPad, I gave same explanation I did to child! She seemed to think I was OTT and she was far superior as she’s more ‘easy going’…. but said her child had a nice time and tried to arrange more play dates.
I’ve been heavily judgmental of the mum since and made excuses for any more play dates. 🤣 she got the hint eventually.

We have a no phones upstairs rule, which I’ve applied to DD12s friends, and they’ve all been pretty accepting that it’s our house rule. Kids usually understand if you explain different houses have different rules around screens. And give them snacks to soften to blow!!

NoHotGirlsInHell · 01/08/2026 07:48

My 11yo has neither a phone nor an iPad. She went on a birthday sleepover recently where the girl had both in her bag. Sad sad world we live in.

OhBettyCalmDown · 01/08/2026 07:50

Mine do as they like to sit and play mine craft and other games with their friends. Personally I don’t have an issue with it. It’s not like they spend all day on the devices and to be honest having listened to them play it’s just a way to extend the whole role play of mums and babies without physically using dolls.

I’m not going to tell them that spending 2 hours creating an imaginary world is the devils work just because it involves a device.

TheJuryIsOut · 01/08/2026 07:51

RisingSunn · 31/07/2026 18:57

Not really - none of my children have had one before age 12.

You can't pretend to be surprised that other kids do though

Velumental · 01/08/2026 07:53

Marroon · 01/08/2026 07:25

It’s weird how repetitive you are with thinking every young child should have their own iPad.

It's more that 9 isn't that young, I'd understand the incredulity over a 3/4/5 year old but by P3 my kids school has a lot of online homework and most kids have a tablet. Rarely an iPad but a Kindle tablet or whatever. I was literally checking what you meant

Thisisnobridgetjones · 01/08/2026 08:01

Put Toy Story 5 on for them instead,..

Velumental · 01/08/2026 08:05

Mine are 8 and 5, my 5 year old obviously isn't taking a tablet on playdates, she occasionally plays a tablet game or watches a cartoon but she's not fussed for screentime, even on long car journeys she'll say she doesn't need to bring anything as she likes the scenery. She often brings a doll and chats to it about the scenery as if she's it's mum.

My eldest also doesn't bring a tablet BUT he does have a Nintendo switch and he and his friends will sometimes bring theirs toe ach others houses for playdates. They'll usually play 2 player games and they chat and interact constantly while playing the games but sometimes they'll be stuck on something tricky on a platform game and spend ages helping each other work things out. They only play age appropriate games and nothing violent and definitely not Roblox.

If we have a playdate involving tech it's usually a child who is here for around 24 hours, so a full sleepover and in that time they'll also play in the garden, build lego, set up hot wheels, we'll usually have an outing to a trampoline park or play park and often be out most of the day. Techs just a small part of it.

He does have tech in the car, he's always struggled with car journeys and is asd so when he struggles historically he could freak right out and end up making himself vomit. He mostly chats to his sister, chats to us, plays with fidgets, also brings a book but having something to lose himself in by way of a game really helps him.

People seem to imagine tech as some entity separate to other everyday life events and entertainment whereas it's just a small part of the day here.

Velumental · 01/08/2026 08:06

Thisisnobridgetjones · 01/08/2026 08:01

Put Toy Story 5 on for them instead,..

We went to see toy story 5, did you notice the moral of the story seemed to be embracing tech as a small part of wider play? Or did you miss that but? They didn't let lilypad throw herself away, she was useful in small doses.

Thisisnobridgetjones · 01/08/2026 08:08

Velumental · 01/08/2026 08:06

We went to see toy story 5, did you notice the moral of the story seemed to be embracing tech as a small part of wider play? Or did you miss that but? They didn't let lilypad throw herself away, she was useful in small doses.

I think that’s a good message…I was more thinking of the scene where Bonnie has a play date and everyone is just sat on iPads rather than engaging. A sad scene

Swissmeringue · 01/08/2026 08:08

We don't own an iPad/tablet so no, the kids definitely aren't taking them on playdates. I've never had a kid bring one over here either. Our oldest is only 8 so nobody has phones yet either.

Widoeeyes · 01/08/2026 08:09

Yeah, when the kids are at school, the iPad sometimes gets a bit lonely, so I send it on playdates with some of my friends iPads

Velumental · 01/08/2026 08:09

Thisisnobridgetjones · 01/08/2026 08:01

Put Toy Story 5 on for them instead,..

Although I did find it mad that it had 8 year old making fun of kids for playing with toys. That's not been my experience at all. My 8 yr old son spent an entire day setting up a home, school and nursery with my 5 yr old daughter for all her dolls and his pokemon characters and they spent hours concoctung a story around it. His friends come round and sometimes bring tech but always bring toys, minimum a handful of mini figs and a couple fo pokemon cuddliest, a box of Pokemon trading cards or football cards. Noone makes fun of anyone for having toys. His friends who are girls come armed with Polly pockets and miniverse set ups. Everyone loves to draw and craft. It's not real life to the kids I know and yet they all have access to tecg

TheJuryIsOut · 01/08/2026 08:10

BusyDog · 01/08/2026 07:44

I’ve got 4 children and so far have encountered this once. I told the child I won’t be connecting it to our WI-FI. In our house we have to ask for screen time and we don’t have it on play dates. So I’ll need to put it away and give it to your mum at pick up time. Child cried and said what are they supposed to do!! I got out one of these character easy mix cupcake boxes so they did that and happily played games, child didn’t mention after.

She did ask why I took away iPad, I gave same explanation I did to child! She seemed to think I was OTT and she was far superior as she’s more ‘easy going’…. but said her child had a nice time and tried to arrange more play dates.
I’ve been heavily judgmental of the mum since and made excuses for any more play dates. 🤣 she got the hint eventually.

We have a no phones upstairs rule, which I’ve applied to DD12s friends, and they’ve all been pretty accepting that it’s our house rule. Kids usually understand if you explain different houses have different rules around screens. And give them snacks to soften to blow!!

That's a shame for your daughter's friend, especially since she embraced playing without the tablet while she was at your house.

TiredofLDN · 01/08/2026 08:10

Never experienced this. To celebrate the end of the school year my son (9) just had a “pizza and gaming party” with his friends - 12 of them. Some brought their own switches, ours was (as always) hooked up to the tv (no handheld screens usually allowed in my house for the kids) and they played games together, sharing their switches and taking turns on the big screen.

interestingly, I’d say over half of them fucked off the switches after an hour and instead played a real-world game of Harry Potter, including getting out the dressing up box which hadn’t seen the light of day for a couple of years.

Lentilcakes · 01/08/2026 08:10

I’m so glad my children are young adults as we just didn’t have this issue at primary age. The most they did was play on the Wii!

Widoeeyes · 01/08/2026 08:10

Seriously though. I have seen kids bring devices on play dates: my son gets upset about it as it means the kids aren’t playing

Velumental · 01/08/2026 08:11

Thisisnobridgetjones · 01/08/2026 08:08

I think that’s a good message…I was more thinking of the scene where Bonnie has a play date and everyone is just sat on iPads rather than engaging. A sad scene

Yeah that's the one that seemed massively unrealistic to me, here kids turn up with a wide array of toys, some also bring tech but usually that's a pre planned gaming thing. They're all mad into Pokemon cards and figures and turn up with pockets full, or bags of their favourite hot wheels cars. My son actually said to me why are they making fun of her for having toys, she's my age?!

Velumental · 01/08/2026 08:14

TiredofLDN · 01/08/2026 08:10

Never experienced this. To celebrate the end of the school year my son (9) just had a “pizza and gaming party” with his friends - 12 of them. Some brought their own switches, ours was (as always) hooked up to the tv (no handheld screens usually allowed in my house for the kids) and they played games together, sharing their switches and taking turns on the big screen.

interestingly, I’d say over half of them fucked off the switches after an hour and instead played a real-world game of Harry Potter, including getting out the dressing up box which hadn’t seen the light of day for a couple of years.

Almost exact same situation here, 3 wee boys who got their switches out, 2 wee girls and my daughter playing Polly pockets, eventually it was toys from 1 end of my son's bedroom to the other end of my daughter bedroom with every small toy and play house and several LEGO structures housing everything from robots to Sylvanian families. We're very chill about tech so long as it's age appropriate so it's just part of play not all of it.

MightyGoldBear · 01/08/2026 08:16

Not at 9 no. But My eldest at 11 does because they specifically want to play games like minecraft together. More often than not they spend an hour on that then it's out in the garden trampoline, drawing, swimming pool etc

Technology isn't the devil's work just need some boundaries with it. I often find they quickly move on to real life playing.

Of all the friends we have had over for play dates it's the ones that have no access to devices at all that are the most fascinated by them it being their one chance.

Marroon · 01/08/2026 08:21

Velumental · 01/08/2026 07:53

It's more that 9 isn't that young, I'd understand the incredulity over a 3/4/5 year old but by P3 my kids school has a lot of online homework and most kids have a tablet. Rarely an iPad but a Kindle tablet or whatever. I was literally checking what you meant

You make your choices, other parents make theirs.
Finding it so outlandish that a 9 year would wouldn’t have their own iPad is crazy imo and a real part of the problem.

hahabahbag · 01/08/2026 08:24

my kids are adults but based on restaurants around here 60% + kids have their own iPads/tablets from toddlers, every kid has one in front of them at many tables. There are no screens at all on some tables and my neighbours are a no screens before primary school house (they have just bought an iPad because the school has apps for it from year 1)

Velumental · 01/08/2026 08:24

Marroon · 01/08/2026 08:21

You make your choices, other parents make theirs.
Finding it so outlandish that a 9 year would wouldn’t have their own iPad is crazy imo and a real part of the problem.

Why? The ownership part specifically? My kids had Kindle fires with kid friendly covers so they weren't using the more expensive adult tech. I could replace 7/8 kindle frees before I could replace my MacBook for example and 6 before I could replace my phone

IStillHearTheWaves · 01/08/2026 08:26

Do senior school kids have 'playdates'? I think I would have disowned my mother if she'd described 'x coming over' or 'going over to y's' as a 'playdate' 😂

CheeseStrings55 · 01/08/2026 08:27

Wow I wouldn't. This is so sad. The magic of playing is dying way to young.

But some parents don't say no....

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