AIBU to wonder whether ADHD is normal and society is the issue

[LadyBeatriceBeaHiggins]

No offence intended

Discussing about Adhd with a friend who has Adhd and we wondered what if Adhd is naturally a part of being human and its the way society trys to make humans into machines that is the problem ?

so figured id open up our debate for fellow mumsnetters

Because hunter gatherers didn't eat modern slop or have loud music blaring all the time.

Seriously? I find loud noise physically painful to the stage where I'm unable to physically talk. Hardly a flipping personality trait

This is one of those claims that ADHD is some sort of special super power

I havent found my service users who have ADHD to do those things easily that you quote, they certainly cant multi task because they get overwhelmed and distracted just doing one simple thing so end up not doing anything, paralysed by indecision and lack of focus, emotional energy but it doesnt translate into physical energy causing maladaptive soothing strategies like alcohol/weed/going to sleep at inconvenient times, time blindness so have no concept of how long they've been doing something, the list is endless

How odd. My Adhd child had palate issues and specialist expanding braces. My ADHD sibling had a load of teeth removed at the same age due to a small palate which was overcrowded.

I relate to a lot of those @likelysuspect

Certainly the paralysis of indecision and lack of focus, along with serious addiction issues throughout my life (weed, booze, fags, exercise, food…) Bad sleep patterns (Most nights I’m reluctantly on my way up to bed at about 1.30) and time blindness frequently makes me late or forget things/break things when I’m rushing to leave the house.

But I can also multitask spectacularly at times. I sort of set myself targets that seem impossible- almost like I’m trying to self-sabotage- but which I then race to complete by doing more than one task at once. I assumed that was part of my ADHD but maybe it’s just me.

But people with dyslexia are so much more than ‘can read and write’ they are resourceful, and creative. Maybe don’t hold so much status to reading and writing. They just need to get by enough.
I say that as a dyslexic, who always felt stupid. I’m not. Life is bigger than reading and writing.

The disadvantages of ADHD are overwhelming. It is known that a disproportionate number of prisoners, drug addicts and alcoholics have ADHD; people with ADHD have, on average, poorer health due to a numb of comorbid physical and mental health conditions, and they do less well in school and in their career
I don't think it's the ADHD itself that is the main problem, it's the lack of learning how to manage it.

I agree that screens etc...dont cause ADHD, but anything that over stimulates the brain will make the symptoms so much worse.

Parents of ADHD kids need to teach them how to deregulate. Yet too often they do the exact opposite and give them things to keep them busy that stimulates them even more. It's a vicious circle.

ADHD children need calm and quiet. They need to have specific and beneficial tasks to expand all their energy.

They also need to learn to self-control and focus. There are so many helpful tool. A great one for me when I feel the adrenaline kicking in is to visualise a metronome doing it's tick tick thing. This so helpful to slow down and focus.

I agree it depends a lot on the job.

I have a circle of friends who probably all could walk into some kind of high-functioning autism/ADHD/AuDHD diagnosis (some of them have childhood diagnoses even) but they are all thriving because they all work in creative independent intellectual professions where no-one cares if they turn up to work at 11:30am or if they feel inspired to work all weekend on a brilliant idea and then take off a random Tuesday because they were in a mental rut.

I suspect IQ makes a very big difference in ability to access this kind of job. IQ and other types of privilege such as connections, education, wealth, etc that get you in the door and let you quit the kinds of jobs that don't suit your style.

If you don’t quote people by username, they may not see that you have responded to them.

So, you are saying that people who struggle with these things simply lack resilience and just need to think positively?

The benefits you have listed are baffling. ADHD does not make people good at multitasking. Usually it’s the opposite. Where are you getting your information from?

I can’t believe the ableism on this thread. So we are all normal, ADHD is normal, it is just the modern world where some (weaker, lazier,) people just aren’t coping as well as they should.

As are people with adhd or bipolar disorder

We are much more than our disabilities but that doesnt mean they dont exist

Im not sure where the idea of multitasking comes through as being something connected to ND, most organised humans can multi task

Women (sorry to stereotype) tend to be able to multi task better than men, we are also better at noticing detail

Yes! Very similar here.

The inability to think before acting (or difficulty to) is not just a different way of thinking, DS regrets it when it happens and wishes he could control it. About to start medication, fingers crossed it helps.

Hmm, not sure I'd agree tbh. Before going back on the meds I really struggled just to motivate myself to do basic stuff like mowing the lawn. Humans are supposed to have dopamine.

@Passaggressfedup
Also, I have ADHD. I have very, very low energy. My thoughts race especially when I’m stressed out. There’s no benefit to it. They are a meaningless blur when my brain goes too fast. What would I do with that?

I agree with this.

I have found a lot of helpful tips in ADHD books that have been really beneficial to me. I really like ones that are on the theme of, how can you observe your natural/default behaviour and use that to create structure and order in your life that is aligned with how you work?

I think a lot of people do something along the lines of, I hated my 9-5 job in an office, I'm a failure, I'll try being a creative artist, wait why am I just spending all my time on the couch scrolling? Why can't I do anything?

When perhaps they would do very well in a job that provided some kind of external structuring and guideposts and motivation (which I believe are helpful for all humans), but maybe was outdoors, or was a late shift, or was structured as month-long freelance projects and you could self-organise for the deadline, etc.

Getting your foundational life setup right (aligned with your instincts) is extremely important for anyone but arguably even more so for people whose personalities aren't the norm.

Bur this is a pretty basic stereotypical way of thinking about it.

It's equally likely they'd struggle to get up to hunt as they'd have been up till 2am thinking of random stuff. And a chronic lack of dopamine would make them feel unmotivated.

Animal studies have repeatedly shown that low dopamine causes them to pick the easiest task rather than the one that gives the highest reward for only a little more effort (which the animals with normal dopamine typically chose).

It's quite likely that with ADHD they'd be less likely to forage further and would just take the easier option.

Of course not everyone are going to see the benefits of ADHD. The point is that not everyone with ADHD sees as a plague.

Yes, I've struggle some aspects of it but some of it has made me who I am, that is an extremely quick person, and quickness has allowed me to do more.

I am just tired how nowadays, we are expected to feel sorry for anyone who mentions having ADHD, to make excuses for everything that is blamed on ADHD.

Does ADHD means I'm inevitably distracted just before I'm due to go somewhere? Oh yes! Does it mean that when I think I'm well on plan to be somewhere on time, I end up rushing like a maniac and wonder how I yet got myself late? Yep! Does it mean that it is okay to be always late and that my friends just gave to accept it? Absolutely not!.

I just have to find better ways. I now often set an alarm 10 minutes before I'm due to go. Enough to get myself a drink, go to the toilet, find my phone and keys and get my coat and shoes.

ADHD has meant that I've had to develop extra strategies. They do work. I don't accept that I should impose my deficiencies due to ADHD on others. When sadly it doesn't work, I'm super apologetic and try to think of a better strategy.

What are the benefits of having ADHD
Quick thinking
Doing things faster
Able to multi task
High energy

One of the most common symptoms is procrastination and feeling burnt out. This is the opposite of high energy and doing things faster. What people perceive as 'high energy' is a coping mechanism for low dopamine aimed at providing stimulation - much like the insane sugar cravings I get when not on my meds.

It doesn't help you get boring stuff done. It makes you want to sack it off and do something fun, which is a big part of what is perceived as distractability.

When perhaps they would do very well in a job that provided some kind of external structuring and guideposts and motivation (which I believe are helpful for all humans), but maybe was outdoors, or was a late shift, or was structured as month-long freelance projects and you could self-organise for the deadline, etc.
I am now doing a job that requires me to battle all my natural instinctive ADHD traits! I could never have done it younger. I have to take time to regulate myself all through the day.

But I love the challenge and the job! I become a new me. It's very hard to do when I'm tired or stressed. It's exhausting too but there is something that feels highly rewarding when I manage it well (at least I think I do!)

I had a graduate job in bid management and hated it. I now drive heavy plant and love it. As I operate heavy machines in close proximity to people it's a case of needing to always check check check in your many mirrors/cameras which keeps me from getting restless like when at a desk.

Having a clear objective is much easier than having to plan and strategise and stay focused on a 150 page doc. I need to move xyz to a certain place at a certain time so it's just a case of doing it. Hands on work is way better for me.

One of the most common symptoms is procrastination and feeling burnt out
Oh yes....the burnout after the high energy...yep, and the procrastination, story of my life....

I now make the most of the rush of energy and accept the burnout. That's who I am and I've learnt to live with it.

As for procrastination, it's a constant battle and the constant guilt is a pain. Ultimately, it does come down to reaching a point where I literally physically make myself get up and do what I have to do. Thankfully, the benefit of ADHD is that once I do finally get on with it, due to the speed of doing things, it never takes anywhere as long as I'd imagine!

Having a clear objective is much easier than having to plan and strategise and stay focused on a 150 page doc. I need to move xyz to a certain place at a certain time so it's just a case of doing it. Hands on work is way better for me
My dad was exactly the same. He had a job that meant he was always out and about. At 83, he is still always on the move. It has kept him active and amazingly healthy for his age!

Unpredictable bursts of physical and mental energy are a feature of ADHD. By definition the bursts can’t be relied upon in order to accomplish tasks more efficiently. When I do things during a burst of energy like for example, write a paper for college, later I look back on it and it is poor standard, makes no sense and has to be redone. Or if I start doing something physical, I might get halfway through before getting overwhelmed or I get sidetracked doing something else. I can’t relate to what you’re describing one bit.

this is where i think science struggles, its against the general wisdom of the eras etc.