Unfortunately, I do not have:
- 4 daughters under 12 who have dedicated their summer holidays to hourly competitions on who can scream the loudest (and associated rehearsals)
- a super charged motorbike that gets started around 6.30 am, revved a few times then left to idle and splutter for 10 minutes before speeding off the estate
- a partner who walks up and down the street at all hours talking endlessly on speaker phone using his outside voice
- A dog that never gets walked and yaps constantly in the garden from 6am to 11pm
- Teenage sons who have tons of mates that drop them home anywhere between 11pm and 4am and play a few tunes nice and loud with the windows down and always give between 5 and 25 pips of the horn to say bye
So please, tell me, how can I keep up with my neighbours? What should be my thing?