‘Get up 1.5h before your child does to get things done’

[Cla7]

AIBU to think that this is a smug and/or thoughtless comment from those who are lucky enough to have good sleepers that usually do a solid 7pm-7am? My DS wakes up at 5am, no one in their right mind does yoga at 3.30am or the household at 4am. In fact the only time I did this was in my 20s when I came home from a party and was high, but these days are long gone.

Not sure I would do it if my kids slept until 7! Yoga at 5:30am does not sound pleasant either!

These days I have teenagers so it is a bit easier. Although my version of “getting things done” is “eat breakfast while reading my kindle”.

100% - I once got told (quite smugly) "well I'm just an early riser, if you're up at six you find there's plenty of time to get everything done before the kids are up"... Yeah not in my house, if I'm up at six I've A) had a lie in and B) I'm immediately into toddler care.

The only thing I’m waking up at 4am for is a flight! 🤣
My kids were terrible sleepers so I totally sympathise. Ignore them @Cla7 . I used to have a friend that cleaned the house from 4-6am daily before work, she also used to be in bed by 9pm.
People like to preach about what works but what works for them might not work for you.

Definitely ignore! All of my kids woke well before 7am for years - they had a great bedtime routine so I couldn’t really complain. I have a bedroom downstairs so nowadays I do quietly do yoga, pray or read before they wake up (at 7.02am every day) but I wouldn’t risk them waking earlier than they need just to do housework. It seems rather selfish tbh, though I do understand many adults and children sleep far deeper than me and mine. We can hear a pin drop.

No, it can be the last resort of exhausted single mums who are trying to keep all the basic plates spinning.

Different people have different issues. It does not necessarily mean they are being smug !

My toddler slept until midnight and then 4-6 last night. So I suppose technically I could have done that, I’m sure that 30mins sleep would have done me for the day…

I used to feel similarly about people gaily telling me to ‘make sure you sleep when the baby sleeps’. My baby had an injury caused by her forceful extraction and would only sleep being held completely vertically for about 9 months. Me and my husband took it in zombie shifts to sit up with her with matchsticks holding our eyelids up.

Oh hahahahhaa. My DS is 17mo has never slept through the night in his life. Comes into bed with me from about 3.30 usually, though he made it until about 4.40am last night! Gently weaning him off the boob so hopefully that makes the difference finally.

Pregnant with my second now very early and I'm shattered. Toddler doesn't usually go to actual sleep until about 8pm. I'm seeing some ragebaity videos on IG with someone who wakes up at 3.30am to go running, style her hair, clean the house, have a leisurely breakfast outside all while her baby snoozes... couldn't be me sorry, I would be sleeping! And I have always been a morning person and love yoga

I had this same injury as a baby! So sorry for you and your husband and LO

In term time, I wake up 35 minutes before my kids so I can shower and get ready before getting them up. If I added another hour to that, I would be up at 4.40am. I'm not sure I could get through the day after that, never mind do all those magical extra things!

Yep and I leave for work at 6:30 so I need sleep!

Who is saying this? And what's this stuff that can't be done during normal hours?

Ha ha I had two with completely opposite sleep patterns. I would be up with my DS til 2am and then up with DD at 5.30am - both have complex needs and didn’t sleep “normally” for around 8 years. I now do get up at 6.30 and have a coffee before the rest of the house is awake but chronically sleep deprived me was never getting up any earlier than absolutely necessary in those years.

When you tell them your child wakes up at 5, do they still suggest you get up at 3.30am to do yoga and housework?

I actually do this (wake up at 4:30am) but only ever managed once each of my babies were sleeping through the night. I have 3 DC ages 8, 4, and 2, and it was only recently that I was able to do it consistently, without one of them waking in the night or waking up super early. This morning my 4-year old was standing by my bed at 4am to tell me that she’d had an accident and wet the bed, so I even got up an extra 30 mins earlier this morning 😂

Every single influencer and wellness expert that has a program or meal plan to sell. It does get very tiresome.

This sounds barmy and smug! You’re so right! I had a friend also say “oh you can go on a run once they’re in bed.” Nope, I’m literally dead after they’ve gone to sleep even if it was that early! Having said that, my kid went thru a terrible phase of waking around 5am and I’d put him in the running buggy and jog off to post my Vinted parcels! Maybe that’s what ur friend means! I was knackered though and it didn’t last long!

My kids are 13 and 8. I’m lucky if I get up before my littlest at 6am every day. Some days he can be up as early as 4:45am. He has ADHD and struggles with sleep. There is NO WAY I am getting up 1.5 or 3 hours before my kids do to get stuff done.
I go to bed at 9pm anyway and have CFS. I don’t need to feel worse!!

It is smug but it's also true, lol.

I’m an early bird and i find putting youngest dc to bed makes me sleepy and i like to enjoy my evenings - maybe read a book or call a friend - so the last thing i want to do after that is start housework and gardening and batch cooking.

If my dc decide to get up at 5am that’s their problem.

They can either play in their rooms or go back to bed. They aren’t allowed downstairs until 6.30am earliest.

So if I get up between 5am and 6am I’m guaranteed some time to myself - sometimes I go for a 6am swim, sometimes I cook, sometimes I take out trash or work in my garden and sometimes I just read and doze.

I am not smug about it but my day aways is better for getting up early.

Just ignore. YABU to bother about advice like this which is not relevant to your circumstances. 6am is plenty early enough for most people. Don't give it another thought.

I read your first sentence as "The only thing I'm waking up for at 4am is a fight" 🧐

Responding as a former f-t carer for a relative (inc overnight duties), that "Get up 1.5hrs before your child" suggestion is not practical for everyone.

Even if your DC do sleep from 7-7, maybe parents/carers/guardians are too tired from the day they usually have to get up at 5:30am.

It's easy for people to declare how straightforward someone else's life is or could be when they will never actually live it.

I do this now because I’m nearly 50, self employed and have older teen/young adult children. I’m up early to have that quiet space to myself before everyone is up - to do my exercise and potter about getting chores out of the way.

When my kids were young, or when I was working full time? Absolutely not! If I had the choice between an extra hour’s precious sleep or ‘getting stuff done’ sleep won hands down.

Ignore. I have a good sleeper and still don't do this. I think it is important for children to learn adults need to do stuff at home and to entertain themselves independently. Obviously harder with toddlers but as they grow up they can either help or go and entertain themselves

There was a time when I briefly thought that when I was up multiple times in the night that I could make use of the time to do some exercises.

I did say briefly. And I was sleep deprived, in my defense.

The other issue with early wakers is you're too knackered to do anything even later in the day, so it's a double whammy.

Well, respect to those who do manage to get up at 4.30! I wouldn’t mind getting up early (but ‘early’ is more like 6am for me) to have some time for myself in the morning, it’s just that I think whether or not this is possible depends on the individual situation, and it’s not really helpful advice for sleep deprived mums who only get a few hours sleep per night as it is.