‘Get up 1.5h before your child does to get things done’

[Cla7]

AIBU to think that this is a smug and/or thoughtless comment from those who are lucky enough to have good sleepers that usually do a solid 7pm-7am? My DS wakes up at 5am, no one in their right mind does yoga at 3.30am or the household at 4am. In fact the only time I did this was in my 20s when I came home from a party and was high, but these days are long gone.

I get up at 4.30am, 1.5 hrs before my 5yo but I still can't get everything done. She only sleeps 8-6 if we're lucky. I'm just in a better mood if I start the day with time to myself. I've always been an early riser though, I prefer to have free time when I have more energy at the start of the day than at the end when I'm knackered.

Why do things have to be done that early? Sleep is important to a healthy life, depriving yourself of sleep to do yoga is madness. You'll be on the road to burnout...

This is martyr behaviour and ridiculous.

Usually said by the kind of people who have no interests outside of their children and think things like self care and sitting down occasionally are "selfish" 🙄

The one I've never understood is doing chores whilst the baby/toddler sleeps.

Why I would waste the time I can sit down and chill, when I can just do the dishes whilst he's awake, I have no idea!

But then I was also one of those jammy bastards who slept when the baby slept.

My first baby was a nightmare for not sleeping by day and by night. She would wake throughout the night and then want to get up at 5 am. We were pretty traumatised by it (second child was better!) There would have been no way I could have got up any earlier to catch up with things. She'd have heard me, anyway! The person who gave this advice must have a very obliging and easy child. (Oh, we had screaming with colic all evening as well.)

I've always been an early morning person, but now I've retired and don't need to get up to get to work at 7.30, isn't it just life that I actually wake at 5.30 and can't get back to sleep? All those mornings when I dreaded the alarm going off at 6.30, and now I'm up and at it by 6 or before with no problems.

As a retiree I love the early mornings. I'm quiet because my husband sleeps till nearly 8, but it's just great to sit quietly and read, or catch up with emails or even potter quietly doing chores.

I could never sleep during the day - I don't know how people do it. Tried and tried - but just couldn't switch off.

My kids have always been good sleepers but there is not a chance in hell im getting up an hour earlier to do yoga or clean the house fuck that

🤣🤣🤣 I can honestly say I’ve never woken up for a fight.

We get up at 4am because my DS is a swimmer. No way would I be getting up at 2.30 to “get things done” 🤣

Luckily the gym opens at 6 where he swims so the exercise bit fits in nicely.

But the getting things done happens between being out at swimming before and after work (I’m home for 15 minutes inbetween each thing).

and of it doesn’t get done - 🤷‍♀️ life’s too short to worry about it.

Did this person have any friends? Doesn’t sound like my cup of tea anyway ! Unless they were saying it as a joke. Lack of sleep is torturous!

I'm one of those that does. My kids are "older" now (15,11 & 7) but their evening schedules are crazy busy with sports etc and both me and DH work full time and start work early (DH 6.15am and me 8am) we do get a gym session in each morning at around 4.30am and then I tend to get some jobs done and/or tea prepped for that evening. Simply because it's the only time we have to get some time in for ourselves and it also means we can keep on top of the housework and make sure that everyone is eating well. Before anyone says it no my DC cannot do less in an evening not without it being detriment to them, both my DS are academy level football and eldest is also very sporty so it's just not an option right now. Not at all smug about it tbh it's a killer at times but it works for us. I couldn't and wouldn't have done it when DC were younger though and yes mine did also sleep well then but just no as we didn't need to. It's not at all about being smug and just about fitting everything in so that no-one misses out.

Every single influencer and wellness expert that has a program or meal plan to sell. It does get very tiresome.
Bet they don't fo it in real life!
I used to wait until the children were at nursery/childcare before I got up or did houework.
Dh would take them, i would run round the house doing what needed once it was enpty and then start work at 8am ,10 amor noon depending on my shift. No way would I get up at 5.00am to tidy up! Perish the thought!! 😆 🤣 😂

That would have meant me getting up before I went to bed with DD1. I can't recommend it for continued health and wellbeing.

If I so much as fart at 3am my youngest (who gets up at 4am) will hear me. There is zero chance of me getting anytime to myself I'd just be starting the day earlier with my children. A day for us already feels like it lasts eternity when you're up at 4am everyday.

For balance, the few people who have ever said this to me (and in the context of them doing it, not suggesting I do it) have been people quite desperate to find that little extra time. IE they clean at 6am as it's the only time they have before their severely autistic child wakes and needs them for the next 15+ hours. It's not someone who is making a lifestyle choice to fit in some yoga, it's someone who is already burning the candles at both ends. No smugness at all.

I did this, I wasn't being smug just trying to keep sane. I acknowledge the privilege of having an engaged and helpful partner that enabled this and that happened to me happy to split wake ups in the night once our kids were done bf so that I could sleep through on a regular basis, but those 5ams were my sanity, how I managed to fit exercise in, and how I managed to have time alone. I don't need to do it now I work part time and my kids are in school, but it worked for me at the time and I wasn't doing it to make other people feel bad about themselves!

I am not a morning person, sleep deprivation is bad for you, and I am more efficient in the evening.

Why on earth would I martyr myself to wake up ridiculously early? AND have to keep quiet not to wake up the others.

There's no reason whatsoever for anyone in my own family to be up early. Staying up later is much more helpful, kids can be outside later and don't wake up anyone.

My kids 18months and 3 years are pretty good sleepers generally sleep from 7pm-6am. I get up at 5, this lets me get myself ready for work and get a few things sorted (put washing on etc) before getting the kids ready for nursery.

Oh, I had to train myself. I found that if I napped more than two days in a row, I didn't have enough sleep pressure for night time. I was religiously anti-caffeine too - just one caf tea in the morning.

Otherwise I tucked up with my son in bed two days out of three and dozed off with him. My husband did it too when he was on SPL.

I'm not great at falling back to sleep if disturbed past 4.30am though - I had surgery yesterday and was up before 5 today as my pain meds ran out.

Same!

It's always said with smugness. I usually responds with a similar comment. People are usually shocked that not every child wakes at 7/8 like theirs.

Then they start on the "didn't you sleep train them" bollocks.

DS is, and always has been, a 5am riser, regardless of his bedtime. And yes, we did sleep train and yes, we did refuse to let him get up before 7 but he was still awake, just bored in his bed singing or thumping his legs up and down. He never went back to sleep no matter how dark and boring it was.

Oh god one half of my twins get sup at 530am no matter what time they go to sleep - I do now get up at 5am just to have 30 mins of peace and a coffee I’m not waking up when the clock as a 4 at the front of it!

It works if you have children who do 12 hour stretches. My eldest is up until 11.30/12, my youngest gets up at 6. Even if all I do is go to the toilet and brush my teeth in down to 5 hours already

I'm at my least productive first thing in the morning so staying up late after they go to bed is better for me. Though actually I'm most productive after I've had a decent night's sleep, so reducing sleep to get alone time is a really bad idea.

I loathe this advise. I am spinning all the plates atm with a clinical career, a start up business and two young children. They do sleep at night tbf but it’s a struggle to get them down before 10pm and one has adhd and neither of them stop when awake. Combined with laundry, work, packed lunches, homework support etc etc, I’m barely sleeping midnight-06.00 as it is.

Also I work in a role related to dementia and poor sleep has a known association with cognitive decline. It’s dangerous advise to encourage women to go without

My eldest didn't sleep through the night until he was 5 years old and my youngest has never slept beyond 6am (he had a phase of treating 4am as the start of the day) and I always thought this advice is madness!