Aibu to overthink this?

[tami345]

hey everyone so my partner used to work in a bar. There was this girl he was friendly with but when he stopped working in there she told him via message that she feels like crying and sent a whole pile of pictures of the time that all the workers where on holiday together. he said to me nah we just got on as work mates and she’s literally told me her and her fiance are tryin for a baby and she’s been gojn with a guy for like 5 years. But I remember when she messaged him on fb she sent pictures of the time all of them where on holiday but above the pictures was deleted messages from her? I remember the next day sayin to him and he was like right I’ll show you the chat and I was like naw naw don’t it’s legit fine and I never said anythin else about it. Is the deleted messages snakey? I maybe should of let him show me the chat

I think because you were questioning the photos he just deleted the messages to save the drama.
The fact that he offered to show them to you..think about it.
Don't nake drama out of nothing. Let it go and get on with your lives.

Thanks for ur comment but the messages where already deleted like above I never seen properly I just seen deleted messages so not sure. But she’s engaged and told the other workers in there they want a baby

You either trust him or you don't. Which is it?

Hmm I’ll never trust a man again after what happened me years ago

In that case you maybe shouldn’t be with him! I had some trust issues after a 13 year relationship where he cheated and looking back was quite controlling! I was on my own for 7 years before I met DH and those 7 years meant I was able to give DH a clean slate and not punish him for the mistakes my ex made!!

Why bother being in a relationship then?

Is this the guy you've repeatedly started threads about for the last year or so?

No! I’ve only been with him 7 months

Let an old lady give you some advice. Nothing is more self destructive fir a relationship than jealousy. The only one hurting is you.
If you feel you can't trust him then I'm afraid this is never going to change.
Men can be idiots. Once you get used to this concept life will be easier.
I still think you are worrying for nothing. But maybe that's just me.

Is it not strange that there was deleted messages

I asked him today what the deleted messages where about and he said he doesn’t know and I said show me the chat then and he said he doesn’t have it anymore

If you need to go through all this angst then it’s not worth it. He’s either lying to you or you don’t trust him, or both. Either way, it sounds like like a shitty relationship and not worth pursuing.

How old are you. You talk about getting cheated on "years ago" but talk like a teenager.

But think about this:
There were a group of people on holiday.
It was before you met.

He doesn't work there anymore
He and you are allowed to have friends from the other sex surely?
You have had previous boyfriends, he's had girlfriends
If you don't trust him get shot...but be prepared to live a lonely life

Personally if I was him I'd be out of there like a shot... your jealousy will ruin it and is a massive red flag

Like, like, like, like, like….

I'm so tired just reading that. You aren't in the right place to be in a relationship if you can't trust him. It's not fair to constantly badger him for reassurance; this is your problem, not his.

Be single then, make your life easier. It's really not worth the angst.

God sake I can’t get that outta my head I really hope them deleted messages weren’t anythin to worry about. Like it must of been somethin he said bad to her ?

Let it and him go OP.

You'll never know, and you won't believe whatever he tells you. Just leave it.

Tbh I can’t 100 percent remember who it was deleted the messages but straight after it there was photos sent (group photos etc) just of all there work nights out etc so not just photos of them two or anything. When I was with him yesterday he was sitting with me and he said to me do you want me to message her to see if she still has the chat to see. But I said no because this was from like February

Give him the benefit of the doubt, but continue to be alert.
If you cannot move on, maybe he isn't right for you.

Does it sound like he’s telling the truth? With the going to show me his phone. Also yesterday he offered to message her to see if she still had the chat

You are very clearly not in the right mindset to be in an adult relationship.

Are you not getting on your own nerves with this? Let it the fuck go, no one here can tell you if he's lying, how would we know?
He needs to run fast and far imo.