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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Aibu to overthink this?

29 replies

tami345 · 28/07/2026 10:09

hey everyone so my partner used to work in a bar. There was this girl he was friendly with but when he stopped working in there she told him via message that she feels like crying and sent a whole pile of pictures of the time that all the workers where on holiday together. he said to me nah we just got on as work mates and she’s literally told me her and her fiance are tryin for a baby and she’s been gojn with a guy for like 5 years. But I remember when she messaged him on fb she sent pictures of the time all of them where on holiday but above the pictures was deleted messages from her? I remember the next day sayin to him and he was like right I’ll show you the chat and I was like naw naw don’t it’s legit fine and I never said anythin else about it. Is the deleted messages snakey? I maybe should of let him show me the chat

OP posts:
tami345 · 30/07/2026 12:27

ColdAsAWitches · 30/07/2026 11:54

In the last week you've started three threads beginning "Am I being unreasonable to overthink..." about your boyfriend. In every case you're told, yes, you're being unreasonable because they are all completely inoccuous events. Three. In a week. You're clearly not ready to be in a relationship. Let this guy alone, you're never going to trust him, you are constantly going to question every little thing he does. He doesn't deserve that. Take time to yourself, get some help, then when you're feeling better, maybe start another relationship. But right now, it's not fair on anyone to be subject to this level of scrutiny.

You even think I’m bein unreasonable in this instance even though there was deleted messages ?

OP posts:
VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 30/07/2026 13:06

tami345 · 28/07/2026 11:28

Hmm I’ll never trust a man again after what happened me years ago

Then you shouldn't be in a relationship with one then.

Relationships require trust as a staring point. If you can't do that, then you should be single.

QuaintBeaker · 30/07/2026 13:08

tami345 · 28/07/2026 10:24

Thanks for ur comment but the messages where already deleted like above I never seen properly I just seen deleted messages so not sure. But she’s engaged and told the other workers in there they want a baby

How was he planning on showing you the chat then??

LK2021 · 30/07/2026 13:13

tami345 · 30/07/2026 12:27

You even think I’m bein unreasonable in this instance even though there was deleted messages ?

You aren’t listening to anything anyone is saying. Posters like Cold are giving you responses that are very thoughtful, caring and you aren’t even responding to what they are saying. Let the guy go and get therapy

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