To think there must be something that can help DD?

[Owwdi]

Sorry for the shameless post for traffic, but things are a bit desperate.

DD is 22 and has ASD. She has always suffered with anxiety but it was manageable. She takes sertraline to help with it.

She doesn’t have many friends or what you’d call a buzzing social life, but she does have a few friends who are into similar things as her, they are scattered around the country though rather than living locally.

Just over a year ago she went to Japan with one of her friends and got really sick on the plane. She’s always suffered with travel sickness but this was the first time she was ever sick on a plane. Then for the next week (half of their holiday) she was too nauseous to go out or eat much at all, and spent that time stuck in their room. I managed to get her friend to take her to an international clinic where they gave her an anti sickness injection and some pills, and she managed to get out and about for the second week.

Since then, she has been feeling nauseous a lot. She’s been to the doctor and it doesn’t seem like there’s anything physically wrong, and both the doctor and DD agree that it’s a psychological issue.

It’s really getting in the way of her life. We’ve been paying privately for therapy for her for the last 4 months with a therapist who uses various methods including hypnotherapy. I’d say her general outlook and mood, and desire to get out and about has improved, but the feeling sick remains.

Day to day she seems ok now, but it’s literally every time there is something she really wants to do, eg a concert or convention, she’ll end up vomiting too much to be able to go. It’s happened several times now in the last year, she’ll travel to London to her friend’s place, feel ok, then the morning they need to go and do something, she starts vomiting. She’s just on her way back now after another failed attempt at having a social life and she’s feeling broken and like there’s no point in trying anymore. It’s hard to argue with her at this stage, I’ve been encouraging her to keep trying and believe that she can do it, but without fail she starts throwing up and isn’t able to go.

Even times that don’t involve travelling, like recently it was her birthday and her friends came to stay here, they were planning on going out, but DD woke up in the morning and started throwing up.

BTW she doesn’t drink or do any drugs, so there’s no way that’s an element to causing sickness.

She can’t go on like this. GP doesn’t seem helpful. Private therapy doesn’t seem helpful. I’m not sure what to do next, but she’s so low and what kind of a life is it if she can’t do anything fun without being sick?

My sister had something similar for years in her teens. Whenever anything touched her throat she would vomit. She ended up dangerously thin and all parties agreed it was psychological. She did however just grow out of it a few years later so unfortunately I have no advice just to let your dad know she’s not alone and it can get better

Keep up with hypnotherapy, it may take a while to solve it but she may well get there.

Has she seen an osteopath or similar? In case it’s something akin to vertigo?

Does she have any other symptoms at all? I have seen this pattern before with two young women in my circle and I have an idea, but I don’t want to lead you down the wrong path.

Not all therapists are equal. Try a different one

I had a very similar eating disorder when I was young. Looking back I pretended (to myself and friends - my mother always assumed it was physical rather than psychological and ended up deciding that I must be allergic to caffeine) that it was about lack of a boyfriend but actually it was terror about exam results, which university I would get into and all the associated anxiety about what my life would look like. It started with me making myself sick and got to the state that I could pretty much throw up to order. I decided that my safe foods were digestive biscuits and a mix of milk and water. If I had anything else I'd throw up. It stopped pretty much as soon as I got into the university I wanted despite not getting the results they'd asked for. If I get really worried about something now I start feeling nauseous, but it's never been as all consuming as it was then. At the time everything seemed so final and scary, and everyone else seemed so sure of themselves. One of the things that did help was trying to do things anyway, but starting small. So couldn't sit through a meal out with friends, but could join them for a coffee afterwards and then progressed to going back to my friend's house. Her mother never made it a big deal but would throw together platters of bruschetta or other snacks and leave them in front of us without comment. Avoiding doing things made it worse, but it had to be baby steps, and I had to have a back up plan . Finding my place in the world and discovering people who seemed to like me really helped too.

Dd had this from 14 or so, we tried hypnotherapy and private therapy too without much success.

DD credits persistent exposure to her triggers (being trapped in a car or bus with others) as the way forward.

I think she just got totally fed up with how much it held her back career wise and socially.

She started to take sick bags (from amazon) out with her and just explained to companions that she had anxiety related to that situation, she found once she had been sick once she wasn’t sick a second time on that trip (couldn’t eat but no vomiting)
She did say it was pretty awkward to start with but actually people were so supportive.

Definitely got easier as she’s pushed through and at 27 it only happens a few times a year now to her great annoyance.

She’s currently in Kyrgyzstan in a 4wd road rally with three friends, did feel sick the morning of the flight as it was so unknown but fine since.

I had similar when i was young. Hypnotherapy was very effective

DD’s started with nausea from a Gabapentin prescription, by the time she came off it 9 months later it was entrenched.

OP, look into kinesiology and see if you can source an experienced practitioner.

It has been life changing for some friends and their children that had a lot going on that was holding them back.

My worry is that she doesn’t have a few years to wait. Her mental health has been very low for years, and she’s really been trying to get better, and to make friends and have a life, but this happens every time. Sitting in her bedroom alone isn’t much of a life 😔

I’m pretty convinced it’s nothing physical like that as it only happens when she has a social activity planned, and there was a definite trigger.

It sounds like it could be an anxiety manifesting itself as a physical symptom. I suffer from this and so do both my DC. Propanol has been a game changer for us and has saved many holidays/ weekends away/ interviews, etc. Could be worth a try.

She’s definitely not intentionally made herself sick at any stage, she really hates the nausea and being sick, but a lot of your post resonated. She does have a lot of anxiety about her future and how she’ll manage in the world. She’s never had a job, she also has chronic fatigue syndrome so her energy is rubbish, and she tried to learn to drive but has no observational skills and frankly she’d have ended up killing herself or someone else pretty quickly. She just wants to be a child, she gets really hysterical about having to grow up. I’m honestly lost at sea here, I have no idea how to help her.

is is extreme social anxiety?

What else is she doing with her life? Is she working or going to uni? Could exercise help with managing her anxiety?

God love her this is really hard. With a lot of fears and phobias, the thing you are afraid of never actually happens so you are able to work on a kind of exposure therapy to train your brain into realising that you are, in fact, safe.
She however is actually vomiting and so there is a real physical thing happening rather than a fear of it happening.
Is there any (even very tiny) chance that she is making herself sick before these things? Or is it definitely 100% spontaneous vomiting?

She has chronic fatigue syndrome too.

Oh this is terribly sad to read. Sending love to you and your daughter, I have no clue but hope there's a way through and she gets the life she deserves. X

Yes, agreed. Psychosomatic. She associates going out with being physically sick (nauseous) and almost expects this to happen every time. Therapy, hypnosis or something similar should help. How about anti sickness tablets?

Did the doctor actually do any tests?

I had the same for about 20 years. The doctor was convinced it was anxiety (as was everyon in my life) and put me on antidepressants then at the last minute ordered an endoscopy and a barium swallow.

Turns out I had a sliding hiatus hernia and a problem with my oesophagus. Been medicated for a few years and it isn't perfect but it has made a huge difference.

The wanting to be a child and getting hysterical at having to grow up I can sort of relate to as in my late teens I was very stuck to my parents and would socialise and cling to them. Gradually I got more independent.

She needs plans though for growing up and doing this in a safe environment or else she’ll be stuck in this cycle.

Just wanted to say I really feel for you all ❤️

Travel is definitely one of her triggers - planes, cars, trains. But the trouble is, once she’s sick it doesn’t make the nausea any better, and she often carries on being sick for a few days. And she gets hysterical when she’s sick, which then makes the sickness worse.

It's possible she needs to be on a much higher dose of sertraline. What's she on now?

No I’m absolutely sure she’s not making herself sick. She’s always heartbroken when she’s not able to go out because she’s vomiting. Often it’s when she’s away but on her birthday when she was here, she got out of bed saying she was going to be sick, ran to the bathroom and puked.