This goes a few weeks back, however I have insomnia and so of course thoughts such as this come back and forth. There will be a huge amount of context below, so this may be a longer read 😂
I was having drinks with a family member who we will call Susan for ease, and she had been going on for I’d say 75% of the time we had spent together about her “horrible” job and annoying coworkers who frankly are no worse than the average lot you’ll get in any office. I realise this sounds harsh, however the complaints are things such as “Why did my boss not be more concerned over XYZ personal issue I had” or “XYZ colleague/s were smoking outside how disgusting”. My opinion is that your boss is your boss, and whilst it’s nice if they genuinely care they only have an obligation to do what is standard for a boss, not be your counsellor. And the remarks about colleagues are just classist sh*te about people Susan has never been TRIED to like as she feels above them (despite being one of the lowest paid in the office, but feels she is middle class somehow due to her postcode and accent).
These rants happen EVERY SINGLE TIME I see her and are all on the same menial issues. I have these issues and significantly worse most weeks and yet see it as normal??
This is also someone who is snappy with service staff treating them like servants the moment they make a single error, and getting highly irritated about cold food despite everyone knowing it’s obviously not their fault and totally out of their control generally. Plus, they’re 16-25 year olds mostly who are probably exhausted doing it after uni or sixth form so just give them a break ffs??
In addition, they are someone who blatantly makes zero effort to remember anything actually important you’ve said, get to know you or truly understand any of your issues. Generally any issues you’re having are met with false care then an episode of worrying that of course makes them the object of attention, sometimes even extending to Susan wanting to take control of the situation entirely with the aim of resolving her own anxiety. But with zero logic in the solution or genuine good intention for the person facing the issue.
Now for context, Susan does have anxiety which is where I feel bad. However, and I hate to say stuff such as this, like with her job is a chronic complainer with zero actual intention of changing. I totally appreciate it’s harder to make change with MH issues, however I’ve never met someone who for 2 decades has been such a victim of their own life.
She has more than adequate financial resources to resolve this, and has been mortgage free since early 40s, so despite being on £40k has an enormous amount of disposable income to afford pretty much whatever route she wants to go down.
Now for where I blew up….
She had only 5 minutes ago stopped ranting about her job, and then shortly after was treating the poor guy serving us like a human “below” her lofty standards. She then saw a FB video (yes, I know, of all things) of children in poverty and then also a cat rescue. And claimed to be an “empath” as she apparently “nearly had tears”.
This is where to be honest I just laughed in her face and said are you seriously calling yourself an empath. Yes this was a bad approach I know, but I couldn’t deal with it anymore and this has been going on for 2 decades + as I said and I’ve always managed to keep silent.
Of course, I then had the silent treatment the whole rest of the drink until she just left and I now haven’t heard from her outside of ridiculous Facebook posts revolving around quotes.
I refuse to be going around labelling people, however I have a fair suspicion on what she is, but 1) AIBU? and 2) Is she as bad as I think or is this normal?
I won’t be hurt if I am being horrible, so please be as honest as can be haha.