Hate my friend's boyfriend

[neo6]

How do you navigate a close friendship when you can't stand their new partner? Been friends 20 years. Still a strong friendship. See each other regularly. She has a new partner who she met online. My dislike of him all stems from one comment he made and I just can't stand him. We were out and he said that he liked following Instagram accounts of people who are terminally ill then waits for them to die. If he hadn't have made this comment i would have thought he was normal and pleasant. But I just can't get the fact he does this out of my head. I asked my friend if it worried her as it worried me and she said each to their own. He even showed us some of the accounts of the people who had died and seemed almost gleeful doing it. Like he intentionally searches for people who are sharing their final moments and looks forward to the memorial post. I'm not mad thinking this is completely vile am I? Am I overreacting?

This is super bloody weird and your gut is spot on. Horrible.

To be fair, although people may not admit it there are lots of people who do enjoy watching vloggers who are terminally ill. And often it's the videos that are titled negatively that get the most views. Look at Jenny apple, she had a small channel hardly anyone watched, soon as she started blogging about her cancer she gained literally millions of followers. Her most viewed videos were when she was very sick, not her videos that were titled about good news. Regardless, the way he said what he said and admitted he actively seeks out that stuff is weird and not right. He's clearly taking joy in other peoples suffering. I was just pointing out that if he does enjoy this stuff he's probably not alone as this content is popular with people (and not just those who have cancer or illness themselves, the amount of viewers these channels get it's unlikely to only be people who can relate)

He sounds a bit like a serial killer in the making. I’d hate him too.

That’s one of the most disturbing fucked up things I’ve ever heard. Genuinely sick in the head behaviour.

I'd be freaked out by that. It would probably be hypercritical as I like watching true crime documentaries. Although I don't recall ever smiling about it, I'd be more likely to cry or be angry.

I would reconsider my friendship- I couldn’t be friends with someone who could fund this attractive

Disagree. I've seen death and while I think it needs to be more openly discussed and not 'swept under the carpet', there's a difference between that and ghoulish enjoyment of the process of people dying. There'sno indication the new BF has any link to or sympathy with the people he's following, quite the opposite (and it has nothing to do with 'honesty')

Well said. I think she is likely being love bombed and can't see odd traits as red flags.

Completely vile and your friend needs to be careful. One step from deriving pleasure from this sick sort of thing and not calling an ambulance when your friend will need it and watching her suffer. Awful. Sick.

He’s mad as a hatter. You’re not overreacting.

From Google AI
asked: what does it mean if someone is obsessed with and seems entertained by the death and dying of others:

it is a significant warning sign that goes beyond normal morbid curiosity. This behavior often points to severe empathy deficits, psychological trauma, or dark personality traits that require careful attention and boundaries.
Here is a breakdown of what this mindset usually means:
Psychological Meanings

• Schadenfreude: Experiencing genuine joy or entertainment from the misfortune, pain, or death of others.

Lack of Empathy: A core feature of certain personality disorders, where a person is entirely disconnected from the emotional pain of others.

Desensitization: A numbing of emotional responses, often caused by severe past trauma, abuse, or overexposure to extreme violence.

Sadistic Tendencies: Deriving pleasure, entertainment, or psychological satisfaction from the suffering or termination of life.

There was obv a lot more, but is def worth reading up on and sharing info with your friend.