To dislike play dates?

[Peonyyyy]

not all play dates, but ones at each other’s houses, on weekends. My husband and I both work during the week so we like to do stuff as a family on the weekend. Our 4 year old gets invited to play dates at other children’s houses (that they attend nursery with) and I find it annoying as it takes up 1/4 of the weekend, kids aren’t old enough to be left (I’m sure they do when the parents are good friends but these parents I only know through nursery drop off) and we then have to return the favour. Their kids absolutely trash our house and I don’t love being stuck inside chatting to a parent when we could be out doing something as a family.

I do like play dates that are out somewhere like a park or playground, or soft play as we’re getting out and doing something which we would’ve probably done anyway. But the house ones just annoy me as if someone invites you you then have to ask them to come to you etc etc.

I know I could just not do them/not invite them back but obviously it feels rude so we’re doing it but it’s not my favourite 😂

I’m sure once they’re at school and it’s after school play dates/ones where parents don’t have to stay that will be fine, I think it’s mainly the weekend taken up/house getting trashed/hosting thing I don’t like.

I also don’t mind when it’s people we were friends with outside of having kids that come over, as it’s a nice catch up for us too.

anyone else?

“Is it ok if we meet outside at xxx instead as child needs to blow off steam at weekends”

Yes, but your kids got to 'play out', which is clearly a thousand times better than any playdate 🙄. They were lucky in that respect. Most children nowadays don't live in an environment where they get to do that, hence why their parents organise playdates. It's organised activities, playdates or alone in the house.

Playdates alone at 3 years old would be astoundingly uncommon and not something most people are comfortable with for several obvious reasons.

My kids have a huge age gap so it makes no difference to me . I often bring my older child out places on his own anyway at the weekend while my dh minds the baby . I don’t mind it being at the weekend . That said I hate play dates at our house they are stressful but I’ve put up with them for my child’s sake

@Peonyyyy I wasn't keen on leaving my 4 year old either. But many parents are. I only invited calm kids to my home though. If dc wanted to play with someone feral (but kind ofcourse) then it was soft play or park. His best friend was a lovely girl that I loved having over- we took her on family outings as well. Her mum had 4 kids so was relieved to be rid of one I think 😅

And a few people have mentioned the OP can take her DC to the park to play out with the ‘play date’ kids rather than hosting in her home. It’s really not a hard choice between play dates, organised activity or home alone.

The whole concept of play dates is one of a long list of nonsensical activities modern parents have being guilt tripped into supporting. Millions of adults from my generation grew up as neglected 1970s/80s kids and did perfectly well without them. The comments on here telling the OP that if she doesn’t organise them she is doing her DC a huge disservice and they will grow up not knowing how to socialise or share are demented😂

I don’t have many friends so I enjoy play dates because I’m a sad case 😂

My children are 12 and 15 and I don’t think they were ever invited to a weekend playdate, just midweek ones. Weekends are far too busy for us and all families that I know.
My children did dance classes all day on Saturdays though from the age of three so certainly no time for family time then. Sundays is now also taken up with sport.
For us, family time is in the late evenings and on holidays.
I hated the house being trashed - would happen every time they had friends around until the eldest had one friend who was a keen tidier - I then invited her around frequently!
I only did play dates with parents I was friends with. I find it’s often easier (even now) to have children around so that my children don’t fight.

I host play dates and like play dates. If you don’t want to go, decline the invite and don’t return it. I don’t want people coming to my house, when I put time and effort into hosting (child and parents), if they don’t want to be there. Perhaps this is harsh but I think it’s pretty disrespectful.

it’s great for you that you and your husband both have weekends off, but remember that’s not the case for everyone. My husband works every other weekend, so yeah we try and do stuff as a family when we can but on the other weekends I love to hang out with friends and their kids. Sometimes we go out for the day or a couple of hours, but I love doing craft afternoons, or playing in the garden and things like that with a friend or two and their toddlers. It’s important for my sanity as well as the kids. I don’t have any expectations that these kind of events are prioritised over family days, and never pressure anyone to join, it’s an open invite.

I made a few friends on maternity leave that I hung out with several times a week, and then when they went back to work I basically never saw them again, because weekends were family time. Fortunately I made a couple of really good friends whose partners also work weekends and shifts, and we do loads together at weekends, especially as we don’t have other family nearby.

Everyone’s situation is different and everyone likes to socialise in different ways. If you don’t want to join in, don’t, but remember that friends are important as well as family and you can’t just pick them up when it’s convenient for you.

I do sort of get this, i think it depends though, on whether you want to get to know some of the mums & dads? I did, i moved to this village just before we had DC, my friends from uni and work arent round here, i was happy to have opportunities to make friends. I didnt mind having a cup of tea & a chat while the kids played.

Are you a bit houseproud op? I had a friend who couldnt stand having people over unless her house was immaculate. Hard with kids....

I’m not sure play dates are a modern invention. I used to go over my friend’s houses all the time as a kid, both with and without parents there! Though we just called it ‘playing at Xs’ rather than ‘having a play date with X’.