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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to suggest a new Mumsnet topic called ‘The Void’?

50 replies

FranklyIgiveadamn · 23/07/2026 22:35

Sometimes I’ve found I just need a space to scream my thoughts into… without judgment or comment, just to get it off my chest. A bit like an online version screaming into a pillow. I did this recently here and it was very cathartic; but I feel it could do with a topic page of its own… a place to offload without a potential pile on….
Tonight’s scream into the void is: why the fuck am I always responsible for the fucking details of every Fucking trip that I organise, even though my husband knows where we are going and when? It’s his birthday and yet apparently I need to know where we could eat on one night, despite having planned every other fucking detail. And it’s my fault for raising it!!! 😱😱… he’s not a bastard, just ASD and thoughtless.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 24/07/2026 22:54

echt · 24/07/2026 22:50

Arf. As if.

Anyone be who doubts the power of The Void would also be banned so be careful!

MsAmerica · 24/07/2026 23:04

NuffSaidSam · 24/07/2026 22:53

Not in The Void. The OP is very clear about the rules. No advice. Just sympathy.

You would of course be free to vent in the health section if you wanted advice. I don't think the suggestion is to only have The Void, just that it would be an option for those who want it. Everyone else who wants medical advice from strangers on the internet can continue to post in every other section where unsolicited advice can continue to flourish.

Exactly. Which is why I think the idea is pointless and counter-productive.

NuffSaidSam · 24/07/2026 23:09

MsAmerica · 24/07/2026 23:04

Exactly. Which is why I think the idea is pointless and counter-productive.

You think something is pointless and counter-productive for everyone because you wouldn't use it?

I'm not sure I can argue with that mindset!

ScottBakula · 24/07/2026 23:27

I am with you @FranklyIgiveadamn , i actually joined mn when my DH died.
My family were ( and still are ) great as are my friends. They all pulled together to help me.
But I still really struggled at times in the whole unfairness of it , and the fact that he could of prevented his death made me hate him for quite a while.
Coming on here let me express that with no repercussions which I am fairly sure saved my sanity and helped me work through it.

Yes I did get advice but most just replied with 'I am here to listen'

FranklyIgiveadamn · Yesterday 06:14

@Amiiee just checking is your comment a general warning about posters potentially using The Void or to me? Thanks

OP posts:
Morepositivemum · Yesterday 06:19

I love that you wanting to rant is leading to rules for the rant😉 Is kind of like when the op says ‘lighthearted’ and all hell breaks looks and people who want to rant about the heavy topics arrive

MinnieMountain · Yesterday 06:36

I've got a recent ranty post in 30 Days only about DH fucking up the travel to a wedding in Norway. I tend to post there when I want a moan. Obviously it got comments of the "it's not that bad really" type, so I love your idea OP.

WitchayWoman · Yesterday 06:53

anon12345anon · 23/07/2026 23:38

Chat gpt is your friend here!!

Whenever I need to get something off my chest, she's who I turn to!! Blush
Always gives good fair advice- and like you say, sometimes you just gotta get it off your chest!!!!

No, girl! I've tried this once and Chatgpt chastised me because I called a woman a bitch.😂

I ended up telling it to screw itself and called my friend instead -- she was fortunately free and delighted to reinforce everything I said about the hag. Mumsnet's The Void would have been a nice option to have if she wasn't available. Sometimes you just want to complain, loud and unfiltered, and not receive advice or be told to be the better person.

Kingdomofsleep · Yesterday 07:09

I love the Void. I love it.

Not my dh but I had a lab partner just like you describe. "So Kingdom what shall we do now with this? Are you sure? I don't think that's the best idea. No I don't have any better ideas or any alternative ideas at all. Ok that worked, what do we do next? I don't like the sound of that" Not a good trait for a lab partner! Or husband.

Kingdomofsleep · Yesterday 07:11

My latest wail into the void is... I seem to be permanently a bit short on ready money. For one of my jobs I'm a contractor and they send me remittance slips and it'll be a nice reassuring number but then the number appearing in my account is so much LESS. Yes, I know that's how PAYE works but it still hurts a bit every time.

Amiiee · Yesterday 10:07

FranklyIgiveadamn · Yesterday 06:14

@Amiiee just checking is your comment a general warning about posters potentially using The Void or to me? Thanks

Just to everyone really. I learned the extent that online privacy is an illusion. I would like to scream into the void don't get me wrong, unfortunately my info shows that talking freely on the internet is often akin to talking freely at your local bus stop.

MargaretThursday · Yesterday 10:34

Lol. It's not that they're totally hopeless, more clueless!

When dh first started wfh just after covid. I arranged for the gas service, and said to him that the gas man would be there some point between 10 and 12. He looked at me blankly and asked why I was telling him.
I thought it was obvious. No, he thought I'd do what I'd always done before: Leave work at 9:45, come home, sit around see the gas man then go back for work and catch up in the evening.
I pointed out, why should I miss 2-3 hours work when he can walk to door, say, "hello", point out the boiler and pay at the end, missing maximum 10 minutes work.
His reply, "what if I have a meeting?" No, he didn't have one booked, but I suggested if one came up over that time, he said at the beginning something like, "I have the gas man coming, so I may need to just answer the door. Apologies in advance" or similar.

Well we've got over this, but now I work full time further away, and he wfh most of the time (but goes into the office on random days so I never know), he still thinks the best method of anything round the house is I organise it. I keep pointing out that if he organised it, he would be able to say "not Wednesday next week as I'm in the office" rather than me going back and forth.

He also thinks we (aka me) should shop around for a good price. We've just got a new washing machine because it was leaking. Other than the fact he was in denial about it leaking for around 6 months and eventually I got them in to look at it, and they told me exactly what I expected to hear... (tbf he does do most of the washing)
So they gave a suggestions of machines that would fit in the gap and we agreed which one we liked. Easy?
No, he then wants to go through all local retailers and see if any can do a better price. So I said that fine, if he wanted to go through someone else, but he could organise it.
I was happy to coordinate through our normal plumber, but if he wanted to do that he was sorting it. A week later he decided we'd go through our normal person - who is excellent so we know it should be done well. <sigh>

So not hopeless, just complicates things.

Although at least he didn't decide he was doing it himself. He's done that a few times and what we end up with is 6 months of the DIY stuff all over our house until I threaten to get someone else in, then he either agrees or does it.

Love him very much, and he does do most of the washing and cooking, and does the food shop, so he's not hopeless. But that was a good vent!

FranklyIgiveadamn · Yesterday 11:38

@MargaretThursdayThe Void has heard you… and does not say “LTB” 😂

OP posts:
MargaretThursday · Yesterday 14:25

FranklyIgiveadamn · Yesterday 11:38

@MargaretThursdayThe Void has heard you… and does not say “LTB” 😂

I'm currently waiting to see how long before he notices I had my hair cut last night. I had about 10-12" off, from waist length. Currently we're on 22 hours.

Before people say how terrible, it's actually a great asset his lack of observation. I once got two 6' bookcases into the living room for a month before he said "I don't remember those" - to which I could honestly reply "oh, we've had them ages..."
It's great!
😁

murasaki · Yesterday 14:41

MargaretThursday · Yesterday 14:25

I'm currently waiting to see how long before he notices I had my hair cut last night. I had about 10-12" off, from waist length. Currently we're on 22 hours.

Before people say how terrible, it's actually a great asset his lack of observation. I once got two 6' bookcases into the living room for a month before he said "I don't remember those" - to which I could honestly reply "oh, we've had them ages..."
It's great!
😁

Swings and roundabout there!

It took dp two days to notice I'd dyed my hair a completely different colours so I hear you.

Thepeopleversuswork · Yesterday 14:46

Completely agree.

A space free from self important pious types who say things like “you should try parenting,” or “why did you have another child with this man?”

There’s definitely a place for this btw but sometimes you just want to shout.

Kingdomofsleep · Yesterday 18:58

Thepeopleversuswork · Yesterday 14:46

Completely agree.

A space free from self important pious types who say things like “you should try parenting,” or “why did you have another child with this man?”

There’s definitely a place for this btw but sometimes you just want to shout.

why did you have another child with this man?

Haha so true that they say this, especially when the poor op is heavily pregnant.

Other mumsnet nuggets are "and what did she say when you discussed this with her?" [Knowing full well that op hasn't discussed this with her]

And my favourite mumsnet quip "you don't have a [whatever] problem, you have a dh problem." Anything can go in that box. Mil, washing machine, wedding travel, you name it, your actual problem is your dh, so leave him and update the thread okay????!

Kingdomofsleep · Yesterday 19:02

Oh and "have you considered therapy?"

SoScarletItWas · Yesterday 19:12

damemaggiescurledupperlip · 24/07/2026 00:41

I’d call it The Scream

I’d call it The Sistine Chapel.

Great idea OP, I’ll bring rants about why my cat can’t work out the size of her massive arse and keeps weeing over the litter tray but is such a pretty girl oh yes she is that she is forgiven every time. And can’t help it cos she’s an old lady.

NeverCouldGetTheHangOfThursdays · Yesterday 19:42

I'd definitely use The Void on occasion! I have a DH who is a truly lovely person, I absolutely do not want to LTB, but he seems incapable of thinking for himself sometimes (amongst other things... 😂) and it irritates the fuck out of me. In the greater scheme of things my irritations with him are quite minor ones, it's just every now and again I find myself silently screaming "why the hell did you not think to do that?" when it's something like me getting back late and him not having fed the dog, when the dog always gets fed at the same time every day. If I ask him whether he's fed the dog he'll answer that he didn't think to and then apologise. Obviously the dog hasn't died of starvation (though his face would say otherwise) but it just would have been a helpful little thing to do.

Phew, I've realised I've actually ranted a bit unintentionally but it just proves that I'd find a void quite useful 😂I don't need advice or solutions because my marriage is a good one and to be fair, I probably irritate him too 😂

murasaki · Yesterday 19:47

SoScarletItWas · Yesterday 19:12

I’d call it The Sistine Chapel.

Great idea OP, I’ll bring rants about why my cat can’t work out the size of her massive arse and keeps weeing over the litter tray but is such a pretty girl oh yes she is that she is forgiven every time. And can’t help it cos she’s an old lady.

I top that with an old man cat and shits. But same routine. And same forgiveness. post swearing, of course.

If i see him going in, I give him a shove, but I can't be eyes on all the time....

Kingdomofsleep · Yesterday 20:49

SoScarletItWas · Yesterday 19:12

I’d call it The Sistine Chapel.

Great idea OP, I’ll bring rants about why my cat can’t work out the size of her massive arse and keeps weeing over the litter tray but is such a pretty girl oh yes she is that she is forgiven every time. And can’t help it cos she’s an old lady.

On a similar note, potties are seemingly not designed for male toddlers. The wee goes forward rather than downward, sailing over the front of the potty in an arc, making as useful as sitting on an ordinary chair. Who designs these things?! (Yes he is getting the hang of it now by doing an awkward squat-lean rather than sitting on it, but that is not comfortable and I want my £8.99 back.)

MargaretThursday · Yesterday 21:11

Kingdomofsleep · Yesterday 20:49

On a similar note, potties are seemingly not designed for male toddlers. The wee goes forward rather than downward, sailing over the front of the potty in an arc, making as useful as sitting on an ordinary chair. Who designs these things?! (Yes he is getting the hang of it now by doing an awkward squat-lean rather than sitting on it, but that is not comfortable and I want my £8.99 back.)

I taught ds to sit on them backwards. It also gave him something to hold on to which he liked.

LindorDoubleChoc · Today 08:49

Good idea for a new topic OP 👏.

I would like to offer the following new topic suggestions:

Petty Gripes (to replace AIBU)
Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells
Creative Writing Practice
Trolling by AI
Old Fashioned Common or Garden Trolling

likelysuspect · Today 08:51

damemaggiescurledupperlip · 24/07/2026 00:41

I’d call it The Scream

Nice one.

I would be typing for ever in it though

So I dont.

And then I have another cup of tea and some chocolate.

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