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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Old boss not happy with work I’m doing for free

36 replies

Pieofpumpkin · 23/07/2026 17:48

i know I’m not but I need to get this off my chest because it’s been driving me crazy over the last 24 hours!

My fixed term contract came to an end 6 months ago. I agreed with my boss some work I would continue doing, and projects I would stop. Despite putting up these boundaries, she has continued to chase me on a variety of things.

For context, the project I said i would do is non urgent, an idea I came up with, and that she and others benefit from when it’s completed. They’ve been difficult throughout, including backtracking on the original plan which meant I had to go back to the beginning to rework it. As they are not paying me, they don’t seem to value my time at all.

Due to the fact I have a new paid role and am on another fixed term contract, her work is low priority and so I’ve been slow to progress.

one of the leads asked if I would meet and present what I’d done so far. I said I did not have anything to present but we could chat about where it’s up to and try and come to an agreement on the reworked version.

the meeting was hostile, they were clearly unhappy with me and also seemed unhappy with the project itself and unenthusiastic. Despite this , they were pressuring me that it needed to be done quickly, though not saying by when or giving a reason.

I explained that I couldn’t do it quickly, but they were welcome to find someone else who could and I’d step down, and I was happy to pass on materials. They suggested that ‘we see where we get to’ and I carry on working on it but if it’s too slow someone else will take over. So basically, i do more work for free until they persuade someone else to take over, then I lose all credit.

this kind of behaviour and culture is totally normalised in my industry, but I’m actually flabbergasted about how rude they were 😅 it feels like it’s impossible to truly quit previous roles and you are chased about things forever!

OP posts:
waterproofed · 23/07/2026 17:49

Why are you working for free?

Silvertulips · 23/07/2026 17:50

What! Tell them to shove it!
And don’t hand anything over - you owe them nothing.

Block and ignore.

Shinyandnew1 · 23/07/2026 17:50

Why are you agreeing to do any free work for them?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 23/07/2026 17:51

Oh, fuck that.

They can do it themselves if they can't be arsed to pay consultancy fees for it.

And don't give them the work you've already done.

SilenceInside · 23/07/2026 17:52

You’re presumably not legally contracted to carry out this work and have essentially volunteered? I’d just tell them that you no longer feel able to continue volunteering to do this work and then just stop. It’s beyond cheeky to be pissed off at you about work you are doing for them voluntarily and without charging them for your time and effort.

WallaceinAnderland · 23/07/2026 17:52

waterproofed · 23/07/2026 17:49

Why are you working for free?

Basically this. Just say you're no longer available.

PoppieCock · 23/07/2026 17:53

Interesting that you've set yourself up as a charity.

What's in it for you OP?

FlapperFlamingo · 23/07/2026 17:54

Why on earth are you working for free? Let alone going to a hostile meeting. Fuck that. I’d write a brief summary email and send it to her saying I won’t be doing more work, alternatively tell them your rate if you want the work.

NotAnotherScarf · 23/07/2026 17:57

Op you have another paid gig...is it for the same company? If not tell them your sorry you were helping them out but can't do it anymore. I think you were a bit daft when the meeting was aggressive not to tell them you were doing it for free and to stick it up their arse

waterproofed · 23/07/2026 18:00

Also, please tell us what kind of industry this is. The only one I have experience of where such treatment happens is academia and needless to say I’m now gainfully employed elsewhere because fuck that shit. Sorry, I may be projecting.

OriginalSkang · 23/07/2026 18:00

Is your new contract for someone else at the same company?

If not I have no idea why you're entertaining this at all. And even if so, tbh

Bonkers1966 · 23/07/2026 18:01

What the heck? Tell them you have too many commitments and move on.

Ethelspagetti · 23/07/2026 18:01

Just message back, I’m sorry but since taking on my new job, I no longer have time to invest in this volunteer project. I haven’t started anything so there is nothing to pass over. Please accept my sincere apologies. If they’re rude then block them.

HewasH2O · 23/07/2026 18:07

Are you working for another business within the same industry? If so, you're on seriously dodgy ground even before asking why you see yourself as worthless.

SmokyPotato · 23/07/2026 18:08

Why, just why would you do this?!
Let them know right away that someone else has to take this on.

TheFrendo · 23/07/2026 18:14

Do not work for free. If hey want ad-hoc work doing, do not do it without a contract that pays you good money.

MrsOni · 23/07/2026 18:22

Why why why are you doing this for free? Stop it, right now.

But... do be careful about the advice re: not handing the work over. If it's been done on company hardware using company data, they will most likely own the IP, not you.

7238SM · 23/07/2026 18:23

Is the previous lead aware you have actually left and doing this work unpaid (I have no idea why though???)

Is your new company aware you are still 'working' at the old one? Surely this is a conflict of interest and should be disclosed in many/most companies?

ParsleySageToiletDuckAndBinBags · 23/07/2026 18:33

I mean this kindly, but if you let people treat you like a doormat, they will treat you like a doormat.

Even if it's a charity, you still deserve to be treated with respect and only volunteer what you cam/want to; but if not, just why?

They do realise that you're doing it for free, don't they? They aren't assuming that you've agreed a new contract with somebody else in the business and are still being paid?

Neverwrestlewithapig · 23/07/2026 18:49

Is this teaching?

Definitely stop and focus on your next role.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 23/07/2026 18:52

As we weren’t able to come to a mutually satisfactory conclusion at our meeting, I will leave this project for you to take forward.

VoltaireMittyDream · 23/07/2026 18:55

It’s fascinating how so many posters think they know what industry OP works in - and saddening to see how many industries behave this way as a matter of course.

I was thinking it was sure to be publishing - where you’re meant to feel lucky anyone even tolerates your working for free - or academic research where it’s not uncommon for people work unpaid for years.

Therescathairinmybath · 23/07/2026 19:05

Tell them you are no longer available and stop doing free work. They can’t exactly sack you if you’re not employed by them, can they? You need to start realising the value of your experience and skills a lot more.

Pieofpumpkin · 23/07/2026 19:13

Thank you everyone for the sanity check!

to answer some questions :

  • yes all leads know I no longer work for ex boss or previous work
  • no issue with doing these kinds of projects either from previous or current employer (totally normal in my industry)
  • have previously worked like this before, but the people have been super grateful and lovely to work with
  • I benefit from the outputs, but this arrangement feels incredibly toxic. With this time I could probably work on something else independently that would be as useful to me
  • I knew my old boss wasn’t great, but I was quite taken aback by the attitude of the others, it felt like a probation meeting where I was failing 😅
  • it would be a huge no no to be obstructive or unhelpful, and not hand over what I’ve done so far.

currently deciding how to best extract myself from the situation…

OP posts:
Pieofpumpkin · 23/07/2026 19:18

waterproofed · 23/07/2026 18:00

Also, please tell us what kind of industry this is. The only one I have experience of where such treatment happens is academia and needless to say I’m now gainfully employed elsewhere because fuck that shit. Sorry, I may be projecting.

Bingo, I feel like I’M the difficult and problematic one for not working faster on it, or starting an idea I couldn’t finish.

There are easier and less stressful ways to get publications, but now I’m struggling to extract myself without causing problems.

well done for leaving!

can I ask what your area was/what you moved into? I work in health data science and am exploring options, as you can imagine!

OP posts: