AIBU to feel permanently worried about things most of the time?

[BrownWoodenChair]

Is anyone else permanent worried? I told my friend this and she looked at me like I was on drugs

Do you have children?

I enjoy my life, my family and friends, and am happy on the whole, but I do unfortunately approach things feeling as though life is a series of hurdles to be got over, so I am also quite worried a lot of the time. I put it down to my slightly dysfunctional childhood, unhappy parents and growing up in somewhat straitened circumstances. Life was always a worry, from my very earliest memories, and no doubt before, and I’ve never quite been able to shake it off.
Where do you think your worry stems from, op?

Oh I have a friend like this. What a black hole to fall into. She owns two houses, has two incomes of a decent rate coming in, and buys expensive gin, goes on holiday three times a year, buys expensive clothes to pop to Waitrose in, and is terrified of not having enough money.
if your wiring has gone wrong like this, get to the GP and ask for medication. It defies all reason.

Her financial outgoing will be eye watering, and her responsibilities. The consequences of not having money would be catastrophic

You think. But no. She has inherited. She doesn’t have mortgages or debt. She has a huge pension plan and has inherited sizeable savings!

I don't think it is strange to be permanently worried under the conditions in which we now all live, with ongoing genocide(s) threat of war, cost of living, impending economic collapse, almost certain climate catastrophe, rising unemployment, spiralling private and public debt, narratives around cuts to social welfare at a time when many of us are just a few months away from ever having to claim help, and a failing health system. I think it's entirely rational to be worried. I think that once you also factor in the way in which most of us no longer live in supportive communities, and the increasing gap between those who have and those who don't and the gap between objective real relations and our own subjectivities mean an awful lot of people have no one to share their thoughts or worries with.

I hear you OP. I keep trying to tell myself that what I am worrying about is so insignificant compared to the terrible things that some people in this world have to go through.
But there I am lying in bed at night, worrying that I told the builders put the mirror on the wall 10cm too far to the left. And now they've drilled into the new tiles so it can't be changed.
Why can't I stop.

In short, being exposed to so much news, causes anxiety.

And very very open with you about her finances it would seem

I would say it is fine to be mildly concerned about stuff on the news that you can do nothing about. But not worried or anxious.

As the prayer says: Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

Yes, having no-one to talk to may fuel excess worrying.

@LooneyLiberalSpaceWaster

you are permanently worried?

Yes

My mother was highly strung. Everything was a big deal so maybe that ? Genetics?

Hi OP, I don't think it's normal to feel permanently worried and I think a visit to your GP might be in order.

No it’s not normal
how can you be present and in the moment with your kids and enjoy life if you’re already distracted by worry

it’s absolutely not normal, I was like that and my GP prescribed me an SSRI which has turned my life around for the good

I think if you can objectively see that you are being over anxious you are in a much better position than some who think its normal and justified. Im very much in the camp where I guard, possibly hoard my bucket of fucks very carefully. I rarely give them out and almost never on things I have no control over. I just refuse to do it. I work full time, raising two ND teens alone, I have plenty to keep me occupied.

So if you refer to your mother as being highly
strung and you being very aware of it as a
child - make the change with your own children so they don’t see their mum in a permanent state of anxiety

Yeah I worry a lot. It’s got better as I’ve got older, because I’ve developed a few strategies:

1. JFDI. It’s never as bad as you think it might be, and having a mega To Do list adds to my stress, so I try to rattle through the things I am likely to worry about
2. Dont listen to my brain before I’ve had a shower. Nothing you think at 2am is sensible.
3. Lots of exercise. Even just walking wherever and whenever I can. It’s really really helped.

My other half is always worrying, he lunges from one perceived crisis to another. He worries about things that haven't even happened or likely to happen too, whereas I worry about things that have actually happened then get on with sorting it.

Worrying is no fun. Saps you of energy, stops you doing things you should actually be doing and it's incredibly hard to live with someone like that. I would perhaps look into doing some CBT, pretty much designed for this sort of thing and it can really help. Go talk to your doc.

What do you worry about, OP?

It’s a bit depressing that so many posters have jumped straight to medication as a solution. Of course it may be appropriate and helpful but nothing the OP has said has really indicated that this should be the first step.

If you want to change your thought patterns it takes a lot of work and effort and a realistic idea of how much you can truly change.

By all means consult your GP but surely be open to other options too.

Someone hasn’t bothered to read the thread

No, it’s not normal. I used to be like this and was diagnosed with General Anxiety Disorder. Now I take duloxetine and I rarely worry about anything tbh.

Something happening to dc mainly
I dont show them this but its hard !!!