No hot food at summer club

[ThatJadeLion]

Ok so my child is going to summer club for a couple of days per week. I am flat broke but because she hated nursery so much, I have funded lots of groups for her myself outside of nursery to get her involved in things. As a result I have struggled financially trying to work full time hours every week from home. I don't qualify for benefits despite massively struggling. I will just about be able to afford a couple of days out in the holidays. Some months I would hit the criteria but because I'm self employed my earnings are up and down so it's a nightmare and some months I really struggle.

My issue is my daughter has been asking why can't she have a hot meal. She's at that funny age of 4 where they want what others are having etc. I am under the impression that the hot meals are for haf funding only. I don't for one second begrudge children that qualify for hot meals etc, not one bit. But it is irritating when I'm sending her in with a sandwich and my child isn't even given the option of a hot meal, it's like the group is divided, those that can and those that can't. There will be other mums like me really struggling but kids are left out. No answer to it really, just don't think it's fair on some of the kids like mine.

Are the nursery aware of your struggles? I assume you are referring to the HAF scheme? If you think overall you would financially qualify, or your child has sen you could still try and speak to someone regarding a funded place.

Unfortunately they do have set criteria and as people often say there has to be a cut off somewhere.
If your daughter doesn't like nursery and you are paying for different activities anyway over the summer that can be quite lucky, would she have been able to attend nursery if you hadn't decided on something else and would this have been better financially?

Where i live its quite unusual for people who arent getting the funding to go on the HAF activities. They tend to be run on a shoestring and underfunded so can be a bit of a rip off if you arent getting it for free.

Have you a look at any privately run summer activities? On these everyone gets the same.

I say this gently op but if you are really struggling income wise with self employment, would you be better off looking for a job with a steady income stream?

Also make sure you arent considering your revenue (sales before you take off costs) as what you are earning, especially if applying for benefits etc.

She’s four! She doesn’t need to be ‘involved in things’, regardless of whether she dislikes nursery, if you’re struggling financially! And agree with @Shatenoeuf on getting a job that provides a steady income.

It's my daughter's dance and stage class group. They are running a summer club. I noticed they accept HAF funding and worked out this is the reason half the group are getting hot meals and half aren't. I feel I can't now ask the owner if I can pay for a hot meal as it's probably another under funded government run scheme and feel like I'd be putting them out.

If your self-employed earnings are sometimes low enough to qualify for universal credit then why aren’t you claiming it?? They’ll ask you to report your self-employed income and expenses each month and work out what you’re entitled to each month. You stay in the system and keep reporting until you’re over the threshold six months in a row.

Speak to them about funding for HAF, or book her in a different club. No 4 year old is that fussed, and you could send her with some ‘hot’ food in her packed lunch if you want. It’s not a big deal.

I agree with others though, I’d look for a different job with more certainty.

Well of course you could ask, if it doesn’t work financially for them they will just say no.

Just get a food flask and send her in with that, as long as you prime them with boiling water for 5 mins first food stays hot all day. My lot often take leftover cottage pie, pasta etc to school. I just wouldn't put chicken etc in it.

Yeah but there's so much pressure for your kids to be 'school ready' nowadays isn't there. Being an only child, I wanted to make sure she would be socially prepared for school.

This is a great idea, thank you.

If it's literally just about the hot meal (and not a bit of jealousy at parents getting stuff for free), then just tell dd that she has a hot meal in the evening with you so has a sandwich at lunch, the other children's families probably do it differently.

Thank you, I appreciate this. I have been self employed for 20 years. I have struggled due to lack of childcare and time timing of the cost of living crisis. I didn't want to make my child go to nursery if she was crying and hated it that much). Once I get uninterrupted time I will be ok in a few months. To be fair after 20 years being self employed I'm probably unemployable but that's another story!

Well, DS is an only child and I never did anything of the kind…? If it’s stretching you to this point, it seems needless to me.

So you haven’t actually discussed this with the people who run the club?

I think that does need to be your first port of call really. You can chat to them in a friendly way, no need to rush in demanding things.
just see if they can suggest a solution of some sort.
you may well find that some of the children who are entitled to it don’t eat it so there’s food to spare.

Id ask the owner if you can have a deal or apply for the funded place.

Some clubs such as stagecoach accept tax free childcare so can save 20%. That may help?

It sounds difficult op, are there any business hubs who could offer additional support with your planning and look at any grants etc that exist for small business owners?

Similarly maybe on a personal level doing a double check with a citizens advice service to be sure you're claiming absolutely everything you're entitled to?

I wonder if there is a way for the next couple of months to reduce your service without damaging your business overall to ensure you qualify for additional support and work out what's financially most beneficial until you're in a better position to grow it again?

I think you're putting yourself under too much pressure as well. Your dd is very lucky to be attending a summer club as lots won't be able to. I'd explain that the other kids get their sandwich in the evening as well. If you start sending with a hot lunch and are then doing a hot dinner in the evening you're increasing your food bill in the process when you're already tight, unless you do her a lunch style tea?

Loads of kids get taken out of nursery for summer or will have never been to nursery or such so will have an adjustment period for school. There's no one right way to do that. It really depends on your child and their personality.

I’d send soup in a flask to have with her sandwich.

I would just tell her that you don’t get to choose. Some children have a place on the club that includes a hot meal but her place doesn’t and you can’t change it.

She can be cross about it but it is what it is.

I think OP means her DD does lots of activities because she didn’t get on well with nursery? I can see that this makes sense in terms of school readiness because a child who didn’t do any extra groups or nursery so was at home with mum all the time would surely find starting school a much bigger shock to the system than children who go to a nursery or pre school.

Yes if it's just about the food surely a 'Lola has noticed that there is a hot food option, I wonder if we could add that onto our booking?' could be said. They will easily say yes that's fine, or no that is part of a funded provision.

Though if finances are that tight then I would do as another poster says and just explain that those children have a hot lunch while she has a hot dinner at home.

Being school ready means putting on own coat, using cutlery, wiping themselves. Don't over think this

Ask about the hot meals?

Thank you everyone for your input. A brilliant idea I hadn't thought of, food in a flask. Genuinely never thought of this idea!

I’d speak to them as there is likely to be a child on HAF funding who doesn’t want a hot meal and wants their own lunchbox with a sandwich in it! Kids like different things. No harm is asking at all.

Speak to them first and find out why she isn’t getting hot meals. If they say only HAF kids are, challenge it and ask why paying parents aren’t too. This sort of thing pisses me off.