No hot food at summer club

[ThatJadeLion]

Ok so my child is going to summer club for a couple of days per week. I am flat broke but because she hated nursery so much, I have funded lots of groups for her myself outside of nursery to get her involved in things. As a result I have struggled financially trying to work full time hours every week from home. I don't qualify for benefits despite massively struggling. I will just about be able to afford a couple of days out in the holidays. Some months I would hit the criteria but because I'm self employed my earnings are up and down so it's a nightmare and some months I really struggle.

My issue is my daughter has been asking why can't she have a hot meal. She's at that funny age of 4 where they want what others are having etc. I am under the impression that the hot meals are for haf funding only. I don't for one second begrudge children that qualify for hot meals etc, not one bit. But it is irritating when I'm sending her in with a sandwich and my child isn't even given the option of a hot meal, it's like the group is divided, those that can and those that can't. There will be other mums like me really struggling but kids are left out. No answer to it really, just don't think it's fair on some of the kids like mine.

Just tell her that her lunch is whatever you give her. I don't see the big deal here.

"I am under the impression that the hot meals are for haf funding only".

"Under the impression"?

So you don't know for sure?

This is where you really need to speak to the people running the club and find out what the criteria is. Perhaps your child would actually qualify.

If not, are there other options like paying a small amount for her to have hot food? (You will save money and time on not preparing the sandwiches).

It does seem a bit of possible fruitless speculation to raise these questions here with internet strangers, rather than actually consulting with the organisation themselves who would know the accurate answers.....

"HAF funding and worked out this is the reason"
"feel I can't now ask the owner if I can pay for a hot meal "
"as it's probably"
"feel like I'd be putting them out."

Kindly, OP, your response here is full of surmise/assumptions and also some expressions of low confidence.

It seems you don't know for a fact what the criteria is for hot meals (you are "under the impression" in the OP) but don't feel you can - or are afraid to - ask.

It's actually pretty simple.

You front up to the person in charge and say:

"Hey, my 4 year old is asking why she can't have a hot meal here, as she's noticed some of her class members do.
As a 4 year old she - of course - wants what others are having.
Is there certain criteria for the hot meals or can she be included?"

And see what the response is.

At the very least you will then know the story rather than guessing. :)

All the best to you!

I think it horrible that any group could run a summer club and decide only some get hot food due to funding support, the others not.
I would have made it a requirement of allowing the club to go ahead that there would be hot food available for those that wanted it.
If they cannot afford to do that I am not sure they should be able to run any club properly.

Plenty of experts actually share your view op

Haf funding is victorian in that it clearly marks our poorer kids. I know a lot of people in the play and youth sector who strongly prefer a model of money to feed all kids which is just as economical at scale.

I think it would be better of all kids got the same everywhere, and as a parent I'd be happy for benefits to be less if it meant everything was covered, so all kids had all the essentials (like instead of having to apply for meals, uniforms, vitamins etc, that was all supplied). It would also avoid the issue of finding your kid needed something for school when a parent had spent all their money.
And it's surely easier for the workers at these clubs, too.

do it! my kids love it, haven't had a sandwich in years! My 11 year old takes all sorts in hers all year round including ramen and broth etc. My son likes pasta, soup or leftover cottage pie, lasagne etc. Just pre-heat it with hot water, nuke the food before adding and its still hot at lunchtime.

HAF funding isn't just for poorer kids. Children in care, with sen needs and others that have been identified (by school) can be given a code to access these schemes.
The criteria to run a scheme is that a meal is provided.

Be mindful your child might hate school just as much if not more....

Even if you qualify for funding there’s usually a time in which you have to have applied because it starts the term after you’re approved- so here it wouldn’t be in place until September unfortunately.
Not that’s it’s really relevant now if she will be starting school, but I think if you’ve struggled with childcare and working maybe you could have made better use of the funded hours you had available for nursery?

If you're struggling financially then surely it's cheaper to make a packed lunch rather than pay for a hot meal?

At my nursery everyone gets hot meals unless their parents have opted out of it generally because they don't eat the food avaliable. It would be worth checking into (its an extra cost if funded or included in the paid for sessions)

I came on to suggest flask. Not sure if it's the same scheme but holiday club my daughter goes to one day per week released small number of free places that come with food provided and it wasnt means tested. My friend managed to secure this for her son but as he wont eat food prepared by someone else she still sends him with pack up. There might be children like this at your daughters club and as a result there might be spare meals available.

I see the hot flask idea which is great so she doesn’t feel left out.

but if you’re struggling could you put summer clubs on hold for a bit. I’m not sure dance and drama helps kids be school ready. Mine just did nursery and plenty of other kids have nothing. It may ease the pressure for a bit and allow you more money to spend time with her to less pricy things like being able to buy an ice cream at the park or going to a farm.

I feel your frustration OP and to your DD it looks unfair but she doesn't understand all of the regulations behind it. Explain to her she will have her hot meal when she comes home and the other DC may not have that, so actually she's lucky to have you to make her one.

I've experienced this 'unfairness' at a specialist primary school. Most children go home in taxis with bags of goodies, their parents have their own issues and are supported by the school and council/benefits. The few who are collected by working parents don't get this and get upset.

That generally means out of nappies and able to dress themselves.

I just told mine we have pack lunch for dinner and you get yoir hot dinner at home

In some areas there's extended funding. Check if you are eligible.

Honestly though op, if you are in a position where you are only affording a couple of days a week of childcare and are trying to fit working at home full time around a child, it sounds like self employment isnt working well enough for you. Is it providing you enough for decent pension contribs? Most people need 15-20% of their wage to be going in. Be careful you dont undervalue the perks of employment like paid holidays and employer pension contributions. You need to be bringing in a lot self employed to make it worthwhile.

It sounds like you should recheck your eligibility for welfare benefits given how much you are struggling? Over a third of UC claimants are working and earning.

Try the entitledto online calculator.

Can you not just prepare a hot meal ( leftovers from night before) heat up, pop in a wide thermos flask for her to take in?

You are being ridiculous. If you want her to have a hot meal either pay for it there or buy one of the flasks that keep things hot that you can buy cheaply off Amazon for about £14 and send her with hot meals

I think your overthinking this,she's probably forgotten about it already and tomorrow's upset will be why can't she have something else someone has,that's what kids do when they meet other kids and have different things.you can just say simply 'every family is different 'to this and move on.some families get fed hot meal at lunch some at tea time,just make her an interesting packed lunch,she won't be the only one with packed lunch and plenty of kids will be jealous of her packed lunch too,the hot meals won't be that special.

Pressure?

Please don't stuggle financially to give your child things that she's not likely to remember and she doesn't need

Nursery then in school, she'll be fine

🤣🤣 🤣thank you! Love mumsnet and how people don't hold back in AIBU. Not meant sarcastically!

Some of the posts are ridiculous. They really are. LOL