Housing Crisis - 5 in a two bed flat

[Westcountrygal]

I was flabbergasted to recently learn about so many people sharing incredibly cramped living conditions. A Scottish MP saying on the radio that he grew up sharing with his two brothers, effectively three kids to a bedroom.

A colleague living in a two bed flat with her three kids, older ones sharing and baby in with the parents- where will they all go as the kids get older?

I live in an incredibly expensive city and coming across so many people living in very cramped living conditions must be so difficult. Where do people even keep all their clothes/ endless washing/ belongings?

My good friend grew up in two bedroom house with a small kitchen living room and one bathroom. She had a bedroom to herself and her parents had the other bedroom. Her SIX brothers shared a kind of cabin out the back with three sets of bunk beds. She said she was jealous as she always wanted to be in with the boys having fun.

The ones that then add a new baby to the mix - just why - oh it’s not to get a bigger house is it ?!!

Nowadays it seems everyone expects a child to have their own bedroom or else the family must be living on crisis or poverty.

When I was a child I shared a bedroom with my 2 sisters and my brothers shared a bedroom. We had one bathroom between us so had to have a strict bathroom rota. Yes, by today's standards we were overcrowded but our house was full of tolerance and love. Noone could afford to be selfish and we all turned out to be decent human beings.

Admittedly as an adult I enjoy my own space immensely but there was absolutely nothing wrong with the way I grew up.

I bought an ex council house and my neighbour was a council tenant. It had downstairs bathroom, galley kitchen, decent size livingroom and upstairs one good size bedroom, one medium size one box room. She brought up four boys and a girl. She and her DH were in the middle room, four boys shared the bigger bedroom, girl in box room. Needs must. She said they just made it work as they had no choice.

My grandmother shared a bed with her 3 siblings, including a brother, until she left to get married.

I wouldn’t want my child to live in these cramped conditions, but we can’t seem to convince people to plan ahead. Sure some people end up with changed circumstances, but more often they just proceed and hope things will work out.

My Dad lived in a 3 bedroomed council house growing up. There were 7 children and 2 adults. The boys (3 of them in one bed) shared a room, the girls (4 of them) shared another and my grandparents were in another. Yes, my grandparents had way too many children, for the size of the house and couldn't afford them. It was before benefits ever existed, and yes they both worked full-time in menial low paid jobs.

My FIL shared a bedroom with 3 brothers and his parents were in the other bedroom.

It wasn't unusual years ago.

A bit smug there @Sweetdreamsbeautifulnightmare

Let’s hope that if you split up you can both afford a two-bedroom place and are able to afford a bigger place again if you get new partners who also have children.

Remember that pride comes
before a fall (and at least 50% of marriages end in divorce). Your circumstances could well change.

Historically it’s not unusual. Looking at my ancestors on a census, maybe 1881 or 1891. Husband, wife, Granny and several kids in one room. Sister and her husband and kids in another room. Then because they had a spare room they had a lodger. It wasn’t a 3 bedroom house, it was a 3 room house.

Of course it’s good that we’d be horrified at that now.

I do find it sad that when I was a child every single family in my school
lived in a 3 bedroom council house. They might have had 2 or 3 kids in one room, particularly when granny lived there too, but we all had a house. My DC went to the same primary school as I did, and many of their friends lived in 2 bed flats.

So I’d say we’re better than the 1880s but not necessarily better than the 1980s.

I suppose people shouldn’t be having kids that they can’t house properly

My parents had a 3 bed - well 2 bed and box room - semi detached house and a family moved in next door with 5 kids. The 4 girls all shared the biggest room and the boy had the box room. Not how I would want my family to live, that’s why I had 2 kids and not 5.

I'm not anti room sharing, but 4 to a room is absolutely bonkers. And a little selfish of the parents too.

It’s normal globally

There are a lot of people on MN who have never known the pleasure of being council estate kids.

I shared with my much older sister until she moved out aged 20.

I was just starting school life when she was stotting in from the pub drunk.

That used to be the norm. It's not great though

It has always been the case, Westcountry. My aunt brought up three children in a tiny two bedroomed place, they could never escape from each other.
My maternal grandparents had ten children and a four bed house with no bathroom and a toilet in the garden! However they were fortunate compared to some others.

In recent times it has been so difficult to get on the housing ladder because a deposit is huge. I know a lovely couple in their thirties, both working, have a seven year old and they bought a one bed flat in a not very desirable area. It was all they could afford and have no car, They have cordoned off part of the sitting room to make a little bedroom for their child. It was quite a blow when fuel bills and mortgage rates went up in, I think, October 2023, cost them approximately an extra £1000 a month almost overnight. Still they are optimistic, it won't be forever,

Others are even worse off.

We definitely need more affordable housing.

However things are much better than years ago, especially with the regulations for rented accommodation. You only have to look at 'Call the Midwife', which gives a true representation of society in the 1950s, '60s and now early '70s, to see how bad things were for so many, and gradual improvements.

This
if you can only afford a 2 bed flat don’t keep having more kids then moan!

I honestly don’t know how people manage. We are upsizing currently while I’m pregnant because neither my husband and I can see how we could manage a baby, both wfh and space to eat around the table in our tiny 3 bed end of terrace. On paper a three bed sounds plenty big enough for a couple and a baby but it’s only 69sqm, a galley kitchen with no room for a table, and a lounge/diner. We also only have parking for one car.

My great-grandparents had 2 rooms and 2 beds. One for them and one for my gran and her 2 sisters. They were poor, but not the poorest of the poor.

One of the wealthiest families I knew had 5 kids. The three boys shared one room with bunk beds, the two girls another with twin beds.

They also had a very luxurious flat in an expensive holiday destination - same arrangement.

Separate rooms for every child is a fairly recent thing.

my bestie has 3 boys and a girl. Her daughter has their box room, the two older boys share and their youngest (6) sleeps in mum and dad’s room.
They are both in full time employment, but they just can’t afford to move. My husband has had talks with her husband about putting a blockade in their son’s bedroom to effectively make two rooms out of one so their oldest son will have his own “bedroom” which will literally be a single bed and a wardrobe.
And before anyone says anything, both she and her husband were made redundant, her family don’t speak to her and his mum passed away, so they literally have no one.
The cost of moving is insane, especially if you’re renting.

Quite usual at my school.

My DF shared with his 5 younger brothers - the youngest was a baby when he left school. A set of bunks and a double bed. His DSis had the box room to herself.

I grew up as one of three children in a two bedroomed house and hated it. Then my mum took in two teenagers and one used the living room as a room and the other slept shared with me and my sibling. It was a huge factor in limiting my family to two children. I would have loved more children but we have a small three bed.

My DH grew up in a five bedroomed house with one sibling. There was a guest room, two reception rooms and two dining rooms. So sharing rooms, to him, is unusual.

Well of course that can't be helped. But it doesn't change the fact that far too many people have more children already knowing they cannot adequately house them, and then bleat about overcrowding as though it's someone else's fault and someone else's problem to solve.

And my dc have always chosen to share despite having enough rooms for them to have one each.

Absolutely, this is the true reason for the housing crisis. It is also the reason why so many village schools in my area have closed due to numbers falling to 5 or 6 kids attending. Second homes are destroying villages up and down the UK Charging 300% Council Tax is pointless as these people are so rich it doesn't seem to bother them.

Because of the housing crisis here in Australia it's very common and also somewhat cultural for kids to share a room. Many families I know will have 2-3 kids to a room and use the other room as a study or retreat for the parents, the children are expected to share as their parents likely did. It's not something I do but I guess people just make it work.