Is 'next weekend' on a Monday five days away or twelve? - AIBU

[bolwin1]

I went to visit my DD / grandkids last weekend. It's a 200 mile journey each way & I usually stay over for a couple of days, sleeping on their sofa.
I had a WhatsApp conversation with DD on the previous Monday & we agreed I'd visit 'next weekend'. I arrived on the Friday evening as normal only to be met by a confused Son-In-Law who was expecting me the following weekend. As always, they were very gracious & re-arranged one friends visit (I wouldn't have minded either way). We had a great time, took the grand-kids / DD out for a meal etc. etc. I've asked a few friends / relatives & opinion is fairly split.
So, my AIBU is,
if you are speaking to someone on a Monday, is 'next weekend' 5 days away or 12 days away
YABU - it's 12 days away
YANBU - it's 5 days away

Thanks for the responses so far - looks like I'm in the minority. As suggested above, I'll be using dates next time to avoid confusion :-)

This would be my understanding also...

I also think "this weekend" is 5 days away and "next weekend" is 12 days away, but enough people think otherwise so that it's always best to clarify. So instead of saying we are away "next weekend" I'd say "we go away a week on Friday", or that an event is "not this Saturday, the next Saturday", or whatever feels appropriate.

I think when people talk it’s often present tense, so next weekend is the next weekend coming up after the one that’s just gone.
When you are talking in third person it makes more sense saying this weekend or next weekend.

This is very helpful. The phrase "next weekend" always jars in my mind, because I am never 100%. I also struggle with left and right, which is a separate issue. 😂

To me next weekend is the next weekend. The one after that is “the weekend after next”

I'd err on it being 12 days away but it's so ambiguous I always check in these sorts of cases.

Next weekend is the end of next week.

If you say "I will see you next week" on a Wednesday that means at the very earliest the coming Monday. Why is the weekend any different?

I would say next weekend to mean the next weekend that will occur, so the same as this weekend. But if it was a Friday and someone said next weekend I’d assume the one after otherwise they’d just say tomorrow!

You were BU not to clarify! This is a common confusion. However you and your family sound lovely and easygoing and you had a great time anyway so all good.

I’m in the minority here - if someone said ’next weekend’ on a Monday I’d assume they meant the next weekend coming up (still some way away from the perspective of a Monday!) If they said it on a Friday, I’d definitely assume they meant the one after.

Agreed

Me too!

Surely the “next weekend” is the first weekend that arrives, so in 5 days time?

Otherwise, it would be the following weekend. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’d say ‘this weekend’ is 5 days away, ‘next weekend’ is the 12 days in this scenario.

No, it's the end of next week. Next week-end.

5 days away. This and next are interchangeable in this context.
12 days away is the weekend after next.
Same as you said last weekend, which was three days ago. The weekend before that was the weekend before last.

Next weekend is the next so 5 days for me.

Agree.

Yep, agreed.

I've always said it and understood it as 12 days away from your example. However, my partner and mother in law understand it as 5 days away like you did.

The weekend in 5 days time is both this weekend and next weekend (after all it's the next weekend coming up). And if I needed to refer to the weekend in 12 days time then I'd call it (as a PP did) the weekend after next - which adds weight to the argument that this weekend is also next weekend.
As you get further through the week though the balance changes so by Wednesday say, next weekend will be the weekend in 10 days time. So all in all, it's just easier to clarify with dates!

This weekend is the next/first weekend coming up- as nearly everyone else has said.

they were very gracious & re-arranged one friends visit (I wouldn't have minded either way)

THEY clearly minded though, hence they had the re-arrange their friend coming over because you were there!

'This weekend' is the weekend coming at the end of the current week. So on Monday, that's 5 days time.

'Next weekend' is the next weekend after this one.

'Two weeks on [after] Saturday' is not this Saturday, not next Saturday, but the Saturday after that.

Generally, if writing, it's best to say "Shall I come next Saturday (01/08/26)?" because nobody is confused then.

I would have done the same as OP. I would think that next weekend means the next weekend to occur, not the one after.

To me "this weekend" would only be used about a weekend that is already happening at the time you are speaking.